Reasons for applying
Please describe your reasons for applying for admission to the Master of Science (MSc) programme in the Pharmaceutical Sciences, including your professional aims for the degree.
When I firstly googled through the net in finding universities to further my study, this programme stroke my interest. This is because, the programme suits with my interest in the drug delivery. And, the well-designed framework and the concise content of the programme attract me even better.
The second reason is, this programme is offered by distinguished Faculty of Pharmaceutical Science, University of Copenhagen which is one of the members in the ULLA consortium. This makes the programme is well-known for high-quality research and teaching.
Furthermore, the location of University of Copenhagen which is in the heart of Medicon Valley with the collaboration between the faculty and the industry makes this programme a solid platform to equips students not only in strong knowledge but also in ample practical.
All the above reasons are meaningful to me as I will be teaching in Department of Pharmaceutical Technology in my university. As the Government of Malaysia will sponsor me to further study, it is my obligation to find the best place that I can enroll into and this programme stole my heart from the first time.
If this is to submit an essay than I suggest you work a little more on it. For starters, it looks like you are listing things. I feel like you can make the essay flow better together. The last sentence seems to be a run on sentence. you can start by saying. Since the government of Malaysia decided to sponsor my further education, , i am obligated to find an adequate program. I know that enrolling in this program will be most beneficial for my education. Something along those lines. I think you need to be more specific also, because some of your sentences are vague and too general.
I feel like your first sentence is a little unappealing. Instead of saying googling through the net, u can just say that you did research on finding schools. Also when you say that the school stroke you most: what was it about the school that you liked or that attracted you. This shows the program that you cared about their program and did your research on their school
The whole first paragraph should be cut. It has many errors, and it only says two simple things: I am interested in drug delivery, and I like the structure of your program.
The second reason is, this programme is offered by distinguished Faculty of Pharmaceutical Science, University of Copenhagen which is one of the members in the ULLA consortium. Do not tell them what they already know.
Oh, I like the ending very much. You did a good job with that. But when you revise the first half of the essay, you should focus on telling them about YOUR plans and goals. What are your research interests? I mean, what specialization do you want to have? Tell them about a plan for the next 10 years of your life, and show them why this program is better for your plan than ANY OTHER PROGRAM.