reasons for pursuing an exchange experience

Hi, i'm writing an essay for exchange program, and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice, thanks!

this is first part

Q1: What are your primary reasons for pursuing an exchange experience? How does an exchange experience fit with your academic and career goals?

As an exchange student, I will learn a different perspective on business issues from the other country aside from my own, and through the help of the program it will increase the value of my degree as overseas study is evidence of independence, adaptability and a willingness to take on a challenge. Also the exchange program will let me have the privilege to improve my foreign language skill through my everyday interaction with the locales as well as with their foreign classmates. Moreover I will have the opportunity to be fully immersed into a new culture. The experience of living in a foreign country must be rewarding and memorable. I'll learn how to be flexible and sensitive to other perspectives, and gain a perspective that can't be fully understood until I'm out of my own comfort zone and living, studying, and traveling in a foreign culture.

Hello. These are all great reasons to pursue an exchange program but perhaps you should be more specific about how it will be benificial to what you want to do with your life. Are you pursuing a career in business? If so you could elaborate on how being in a foreign land would give you a different perspective on how different cultures affect trade and consumer mentality. Good luck!

Too much about the general benefits of being an exchange student, and not enough focus on your particular field of interest! Add a sentence to the beginning that says something like:

I intend to succeed as an innovative entrepreneur conquering the world of international business.

Also, fix this:

...and empowered by the program, I will see the value of my degree increase, because overseas study is evidence of independence, adaptability and a willingness to take on a challenge.

It's not "locales." It's "Locals" with no e.

Do you know what I mean about telling how this experience will benefit your particular process? You have to explain the unique characteristics of the field you choose. Explain them in terms of how this experience relates to each characteristic of this type of business, or this role that you want to play in business.

thanks, i will think it over and make it more specific

I agree with Kevin. It seems like you only answer the first part of question. You should also talk about how this program will benefit for your career advancement and what you are wish to achieve in the future.