Hi everyone,
I am posting a secondary essay that I am writing for US medical schools. My first language is not English, so I am getting worried about my wording and grammar. Also I would really appreciate advice on flow, structures, and the tone of the essay. I am posting only 1 prompt here, but I am hoping to modify the essay to answer other secondary questions as well.
---
Please share with us something about yourself that is not addressed elsewhere in your application and which could be helpful to the Admissions Committee as we review your file.
*no word limit*
---
(627words)
A carton of milk, a box of tofu, ready-to-eat seaweed salad, and two slices of pork chops, I felt the weight of our dinner swinging in the bag as I walked up the staircases. In my high school uniform of white blouse and checkered skirt, I was the only person exiting the subway station against the tide of Japanese businessmen in their suits, but we were all heading home.
My experience abroad is as often an elaborate story of an unconventional lifestyle, as it is an account of tears and laughter that came with constant adjustment to the new. In the New Year of 2003, my father was assigned back to Taiwan after spending nearly three years in Japan. My brother and I, who were thirteen and sixteen years old at the time, stayed behind to finish the remaining school year. For four months, we lived by ourselves at a place that a family friend had offered us. Located at the biggest business district in Tokyo, our temporary home was a 160 square feet room inside an office building that used to be a shipping company. Despite our effort, the room never became more habitable than a worn out office; day after day, my brother and I went home to rusty file cabinets, two desks that lost their cubicle walls, and the brand new washing machine that looked terribly out of the place.
Initially, I saw our stay as a brief extension of our life from the past few years. However, juggling between academics, varsity sports, and looking after my younger brother - and doing so in our new 'home' - quickly turned out to be a completely new experience. My interest in cooking was sparked by the necessity; I bought grocery home everyday, because convenience stores were the only dining option at later hour in the business district. Nonetheless, we had our full meals as soon as I learned to use the desks as the kitchen islands and electronic stove to simmer curry rather than making tea. My brother let me sleep on the sofa bed and I hung the laundry on the balcony. Over the weekends, we wandered to different parts of Tokyo or made separate plans to escape away from the deserted office buildings. Aside from the daily life, I approached studying and sports in similarly playful yet determined manners, where I explored different café with my books and commuted to public fitness centers that were mostly occupied by the elderly Japanese.
The stay in Tokyo was my first time to live abroad without my parents. I consider my uninterrupted performance in academics and sport an unexpected personal achievement. However, it was the overall experience such as improvised cooking in facing the challenges of everyday life that taught me independence. Fundamental to many of the decisions that I would make later in life, such as getting an undergraduate education in the US, volunteering in Southeast Asia, and of course, pursuing medicine, were the spirit of self-reliance and exploration that I have gained during my four months in Tokyo.
Thanks ahead for your time.
Sarah
I am posting a secondary essay that I am writing for US medical schools. My first language is not English, so I am getting worried about my wording and grammar. Also I would really appreciate advice on flow, structures, and the tone of the essay. I am posting only 1 prompt here, but I am hoping to modify the essay to answer other secondary questions as well.
---
Please share with us something about yourself that is not addressed elsewhere in your application and which could be helpful to the Admissions Committee as we review your file.
*no word limit*
---
(627words)
A carton of milk, a box of tofu, ready-to-eat seaweed salad, and two slices of pork chops, I felt the weight of our dinner swinging in the bag as I walked up the staircases. In my high school uniform of white blouse and checkered skirt, I was the only person exiting the subway station against the tide of Japanese businessmen in their suits, but we were all heading home.
My experience abroad is as often an elaborate story of an unconventional lifestyle, as it is an account of tears and laughter that came with constant adjustment to the new. In the New Year of 2003, my father was assigned back to Taiwan after spending nearly three years in Japan. My brother and I, who were thirteen and sixteen years old at the time, stayed behind to finish the remaining school year. For four months, we lived by ourselves at a place that a family friend had offered us. Located at the biggest business district in Tokyo, our temporary home was a 160 square feet room inside an office building that used to be a shipping company. Despite our effort, the room never became more habitable than a worn out office; day after day, my brother and I went home to rusty file cabinets, two desks that lost their cubicle walls, and the brand new washing machine that looked terribly out of the place.
Initially, I saw our stay as a brief extension of our life from the past few years. However, juggling between academics, varsity sports, and looking after my younger brother - and doing so in our new 'home' - quickly turned out to be a completely new experience. My interest in cooking was sparked by the necessity; I bought grocery home everyday, because convenience stores were the only dining option at later hour in the business district. Nonetheless, we had our full meals as soon as I learned to use the desks as the kitchen islands and electronic stove to simmer curry rather than making tea. My brother let me sleep on the sofa bed and I hung the laundry on the balcony. Over the weekends, we wandered to different parts of Tokyo or made separate plans to escape away from the deserted office buildings. Aside from the daily life, I approached studying and sports in similarly playful yet determined manners, where I explored different café with my books and commuted to public fitness centers that were mostly occupied by the elderly Japanese.
The stay in Tokyo was my first time to live abroad without my parents. I consider my uninterrupted performance in academics and sport an unexpected personal achievement. However, it was the overall experience such as improvised cooking in facing the challenges of everyday life that taught me independence. Fundamental to many of the decisions that I would make later in life, such as getting an undergraduate education in the US, volunteering in Southeast Asia, and of course, pursuing medicine, were the spirit of self-reliance and exploration that I have gained during my four months in Tokyo.
Thanks ahead for your time.
Sarah