Hello Forum Members,
Below is the 2nd version of my statement of purpose for graduate school. I would greatly appreciate any comments or ideas on how to improve my essay. I am very passionate about careers in biomedical engineering and physical therapy and wanted to convey this through my essay. I'm afraid that my essay is too "dull" and is just repeating the information on my resume.
Describe your background, educational goals, research interests and why you would be a good fit in the program.
It is difficult to go through life without sustaining a physical injury. For some people, these injuries can have a negative impact on their mental, social, and emotional health as well. How the body adapts and responds to these injuries has always inspired me to understand the biological processes that happen within all of us. My undergraduate degree in biomedical engineering was pivotal in exploring the many systems of the body; however, my understanding of neurological disorders is still in its infancy. Furthermore, my work experience has only nurtured my passion for investigating the connection between biomedical engineering and physical therapy. By applying principles from both fields, I hope to explore how technology can assist those suffering from neurological disorders. My admission into the M.S. program for Biomedical Engineering at XYZ University will help me achieve my goal of teaching others how to help themselves.
I went to University X for biomedical engineering due to my interest in the human body and propensity for mathematics. To go beyond the theoretical principles of my undergraduate coursework, I participated in undergraduate research under the guidance of Dr. XXX. My research partner and I evaluated the potential use of titanium as a biomaterial. If used as a biomaterial in a hip replacement, there is a great need for titanium to resemble the physical characteristics of bone. Failure to adhere to this principle will ultimately result in the failure of the implant. Researching, designing, and evaluating the experiment parameters revealed the rigors associated with doing research, yet, I know my critical thinking skills are stronger as a result of this. In the end, we were able to determine that the porosity of the titanium does not significantly decrease the hardness of the compact. The months of our research culminated in the presentation of our poster entitled "ABC" at the 2010 Undergraduate Research Symposium in California.
My undergraduate education had prepared me for a job as a lab technician after college, but to expand on my knowledge of the human body, I knew it was necessary for me to explore other careers. What initially attracted me to physical therapy was the opportunity to interact closely with patients. I was able to teach patients exercises aimed at improving or recovering from orthopedic, sports, or neurological injuries. I quickly realized how the physical therapists applied similar skills to biomedical engineers. As a team, we had to research into new exercises that were be used. The physical therapists then had to design an appropriate exercise routine and, finally, evaluate their progression after several weeks of therapy. Although helping each patient was memorable, it was my interaction with a stroke patient, Sharon, which inspired me to further my educational goals. Sharon came to the physical therapy clinic after suffering a stroke that left her without the control of the left side of her body. Twice a week she would work on exercises aimed at strengthening her upper extremity muscles. Everyday tasks that I took for granted, such as turning a door knob or holding a pencil, required great amounts of concentration and strength on her part. One day, she was able to use a Velcro board that focused on her wrist extension ability by pushing a wooden dowel rod across the Velcro. I will never forget the overwhelming sense of joy that she expressed as a result of the pushing the wooden dowel just a few inches.
I knew that physical therapy was instrumental in helping individuals recover from neurological disorders, but my job as a technology specialist showed me how technology can provide some assistance. I observed how technology can assist with many activities of daily life. Augmentative and alternative communication devices can be a source of communication for stroke patients with aphasia. Similarly, Ipad apps can be utilized by individuals who have a cognitive impairment due to a traumatic brain injury. I worked alongside speech-language pathologists and occupational therapists to help many individuals overcome their barriers due to neurological disorders. It was the job of the rehabilitation engineer, however, that re-defined my future career goals. Before working alongside this rehabilitation engineer, my knowledge of biomedical engineering focused on the internal characteristics of the human body. I soon realized that biomedical engineering principles can be applied to many areas of a person's life. To be truly independent, I knew it was important to help people improve their physical and mental health.
My acceptance to the M.S. program will allow me to continue my dream of combining engineering and physical therapy. The interdisciplinary field of biomedical engineering allows for many different individuals to work together. The research of Dr. Y and Dr. Z are perfect examples of how physical therapy, biology, and chemistry are combining their work with biomedical engineering to improve the health of many individuals. I know my work experience in the different fields will make this interdisciplinary work easier. Upon completion of my master's degree, I will pursue a doctorate in physical therapy. Working alongside physical therapists and rehabilitation engineers has revealed the stresses and rigors of these careers. However, I also see where the combination of these two areas can provide assistance to many individuals suffering from multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's or traumatic brain injuries. In these separate fields, I have seen how devices are utilized. The use of an arm bike in physical therapy is equally important as a communication device used for assistive technology. Using my education and experience, I hope to research into additional therapies to treat individuals with many different neurological disabilities.
