SoP- Masters in Development Research on-Agrarian crisis and impact on peasant women

Dear all,
I am applying for my masters this year, I have planned to pursue my masters in development studies and wish to study my masters thesis on "agrarian crisis and its impact on women". I would appreciate your comments, please do editing , omitting and I am open to all criticism since I want to make it perfect and I want to get admitted there!!

Motivation Letter

"I am not ashamed to admit that if it had not been for her, I would have been long dead. She worked really hard on the farm and to take care of the children and me. Whenever I felt in better health, I would accompany her to the farm or to the shops. What am I going to do without her?" - Sangishetty Yadaiah, farmer from Andhra Pradesh, India

In the last 17 years, more than a quarter of a million Indian farmers and agricultural workers have taken their own lives in response to neo-liberal economic reform policies of 1991 that have left them dependent on expensive, genetically modified seeds, vulnerable on the global market and trapped in a cycle of debt. When we talk about the agrarian crisis in India and the quarter of a million farmers who have committed suicide since 1995, we tend to think about the men and the physical act of suicide-swallowing the very pesticides that landed them in debt after addressing final letters to village heads and prime ministers. The Media coverage of the "suicide epidemic" has largely failed to capture the acute ways in which women agricultural workers have also suffered in the crisis. In India, I have seen time and again that the burden of our economic reforms often falls on the working class, and particularly the women. The farmer suicides are no different, and this particular issue affected me very deeply especially after going through the academic work of P.Sainath, who is one of the first Indians who had worked on the agrarian crisis extensively.

I wanted to connect my interest of gender studies with the farmer suicides, and I know that there are issues beyond the male farmers that needed unlocking. In my under-graduate studies, I was disturbed by the development trajectories of Indian economy since Independence when we were doing our course on "Development Process and Social Movements in Contemporary India" and "Sociology of Contemporary India", where I realized that the terms of growth gains and societal attention have not been for regions, sectors, and social classes in India. As a result, there have been a raise in development demands through various civil, political, and human rights movement. However, due to the patriarchal nature of the Indian society, women in rural India who are still working hard everyday to pay back the debt taken by their husbands, they are taking care of their children's education ,are not even recognised by the Indian government as "farmers", since they rarely hold title to the land on which they work. "They are routinely denied access to credit and loans and rarely have access to government programs. The full scope of this injustice is unclear," says Center for Human Rights and Global Justice (CHRGJ) report 2011 , because government programs do not account for this discrimination.

To be able to feel the sufferings of others, is what makes us human , And this is the reason why I want to pursue my masters in development studies and get to the roots of the problem as to why are we not sensitive towards those who didn't die? Why are we not giving agricultural women workers who form the backbone of Indian agriculture and comprise the majority of agricultural laborers any attention?Why is a peasant woman denied space in her own society just because no one is in her family? .As a student, I have always believed in the famous proverb by Brigham Young, that " If you educate a man, you educate a man. If you educate a woman, you educate a generation." thus, as an education officer with the Connecting Dreams Foundation where we adopt a village and try to look for Sustainable and inclusive growth specifically the youth and women by encouraging them and acknowledging their traditional skills by introducing them with big corporates, I tried to encourage the peasant women to study and get educated as with education they would understand a situation differently and they would know their rights and would teach their offspring about it also, they would try to eliminate the social barriers of the society which bound them within their private spheres.

I believe that I would want to study the hidden suffering of the impact of agrarian crisis on the peasant women extensively and I am certainly sure that Graduate Institute is the place which would give me a platform to understand this problem in a practical and boundless manner and would help me in understanding this problem at a global level. I am sure that this is not a problem with my own country, there must be so many stories from all over the world. I want to understand this problem from a global perspective as it would not only broaden my horizon in understanding and identifying the problem, it would also give me the practical and workable solutions that would help me a lot in helping people of my country. The Institute was a chance introduction to me by my French teacher. Thereafter, I spent quite a lot of time browsing the Institute's website, reading faculty profiles, alumni success stories and watching the YouTube clips of Roberto , Kofi Annan and Ricardo speak to packed student audiences.

At present, none of the central universities and Institutes in India are offering an Interdisciplinary masters in Development Studies. Apart from the Institute has a reputation of giving both theoretical and practical knowledge as compared to the Masters in Development studies in Oxford, which have a reputation of being so theoretical, in the sense of divorced from anything practical in the 'real-world'. I personally don't mind theoretical knowledge provided it's rigorous. But what I really don't want to do is end up spending two years fascinated by facts and theories and in the end would feel like I don't know what I've learned. I need to work along with my studies in order to implement my theory into practise and this Institute would give me professional skills along with theoretical knowledge which would make me stand out in the global level. As far as MSC. In Development Studies in LSE is concerned, it would be very expensive for me as well as being only a one year program. I'm concerned that by the time I started to get my bearings and figure out a specific focus, the course would be over.There is far too much to learn and unlearn and one year is not enough. It would be way too heavy for one year. Thus, Graduate Institute is the only place from where I will be able to work on my concerned issue effectively where I will be able to study under the supervision of professors who have so much experience in the field of development and Gender. I could relate to Prof.Elisabeth Prügl, who would teach the course on gender sustainability, an article on "Does Gender Mainstreaming Work? Feminist Engagements with the German Agricultural State," where she writes how gender mainstreaming has rekindled debates about feminist engagements with the State.and that it is in line with my academic interests and because of that I would benefit from being a part of the Institute. I have no doubt that development studies at the Institute will meet the criteria of intellectual rigor that I have set for myself, for my education, and for those I have promised to serve.

I always believe in the concept of being a "Global Citizen", and thus after completion of my masters from the Institute, I will return to my home country, and would join rural organizations who are already working for this cause in order to accomplish enormous service.And if given a chance It would be my privilege to work for women from all over the world since this problem persists not only in my country, it is a worldwide phenomenon. We all live once and I believe that with this life we should bring a change in the society that we want to see, as said by Gandhi.

I am confident that overall opportunity to study with the Institute will broaden my horizons and give me an opportunity to gain world-class education and help me become an excellent citizen of this world. I am really very sure that with my personal experience and cultural background I will exceed your expectations and bring a meaningful contribution to the programme. Also, I will work really hard and would definitely be an asset to the Institute in the future.

Thanking you in advance for considering my application.

Hargun, what you came up with is not exactly a statement of purpose. Although some parts of the essay could apply to an SOP, what you currently have here is a personal statement that relates your foundation and background, including general information related to how your interest in this field of study developed. That is not what a statement of purpose should entail. Let me try to guide you towards developing a proper statement of purpose alright?

I believe that the purpose of your essay comes from this line in your essay:

I believe that I would want to study the hidden suffering of the impact of agrarian crisis on the peasant women extensively

If I am right, then this should be your opening statement. This is the purpose upon which your SOP should be built around. Right now, your statement is quite long and wordy but does not really offer the immediate response to the prompt. It reads more like a research and opinion paper rather than a purpose filled document. In all honestly, I do not believe that you can use this current essay as a SOP response. It just doesn't work because it does not represent the information normally expected in an effective SOP.

What you need to highlight in your SOP are just the following:

1. The actual reason that you feel the need to pursue this course.

2. The connection between your interest in the masters course, your undergraduate course, and your current profession.

3.How you see the university you are applying to helping you to achieve your purpose for study. Either through research, internships, or other related activities or learning processes.

4. What you hope to achieve in the future after completing this course.

There are really only 4 simple objectives that you need to fulfill and keep in mind when you write your statement of purpose. It does not need to look like a research paper that includes references. It just has to contain your heartfelt purpose, desires, and objectives for attending and completing the course.

As of the moment, you need to change the whole essay that you have written to better suit the requirements and intentions of an SOP. I am sure that you will be able to revise and edit this current paper to suit the criteria. Good luck with your revision and remember, I'm here to help :-)

Thank you Vangiespen for your valid comments, but I am really confused as from one side my professors are asking me to add valid references of people and told me that you should describe from where you are coming, what all problems are there in your country, what problem i want to study, why i want to study, how as a professional after completion of my course i would help the people or my interest group, how this institute will help me reach this objective and how this place is different from others which attract you the most and thus i had to criticise oxford and lse. So, i focused on this but now, after going through what you said i am in dilemma ass to what should i remove and what i should add. And plus the word limit was 800 words, i wrote 1393 words so that in case of editing the extra stuff can get cancelled. Please guide me

This is the new version of my letter, please guide me now...Word limit is 900 words

Motivation Letter

The actual reason that you feel the need to pursue this course.

The connection between your interest in the masters course, your undergraduate course, and your current profession

How you see the university you are applying to helping you to achieve your purpose for study. Either through research, internships, or other related activities or learning processes

What you hope to achieve in the future after completing this course.

Hargun, in reference to your post prior to your revised essay, you need to know that your professor was not giving you the correct advice regarding how to write a statement of purpose. What you being advised to do, was to write a personal statement to accompany the statement of purpose. Needless to say, the statement of purpose and the personal statement are two highly different essays and should never be confused for one another.

Now, with regards to your revision, you are still following the instructions of your teacher instead of following the guidelines that I provided to you. So what I will try to do is pick out the topic sentences in each paragraph that relate directly with my instruction. Your job at that point, will be to use the keywords to properly develop your personal statement.

Paragraph 1: career objectives that motivated me to pursue my Masters in Development Studies at theXXX.
- That will be the actual reason that you have to pursuing the course. Use a personal reason, not something that can be found in history books. We need to know the relevant and current information that you wish to pursue masters studies. Your statement of purpose should not double as a history lesson that you cannot connect to your career objectives directly. I would say, for example:

I wish to pursue higher studies in this field because I believe that it is necessary to help the peasant women who have suffered from the agrarian crisis since 1991. I would like to learn about theories and programs that can help me undo or prevent further damage to the women in this sector of our society...

Paragraph 2: How you see the university you are applying to helping you to achieve your purpose for study. Either through research, internships, or other related activities or learning processes.

- Please do not give the reviewer information about his own university. You are wasting your time this way. He knows everything that you are talking about in this paragraph. Instead, you should focus your response only on these parts:

I want to understand this problem from a global perspective as it would not only broaden my horizon in understanding and identifying the problem, it would also give me the practical and workable solutions that would help me a lot in helping people of my country...

... to study under the supervision of professors who have so much experience in the field of development and Gender. I could relate to Prof.Harman Karlo, who would teach the course on gender sustainability, an article on "Does Work has boundaries? French Agricultural State," where she writes how gender mainstreaming has rekindled debates about feminist engagements with the State.and that it is in line with my academic interests and because of that I would benefit from being a part of the Institute. I have no doubt that development studies at the Institute will meet the criteria of intellectual rigor that I have set for myself, for my education, and for those I have promised to serve.

You will be pleased to know that your 3rd paragraph really responds to the prompt quite well. So I don't really see a need to revise it at this point. It might need some revision after you change the first 2 paragraphs though so be prepared for that possibility.

Dear @Vangiespen,
First of all I want to thank you for constantly guiding me and supporting me, actually i should write that you have really motivated me to apply for my application at this institute, which is a fact, so thank you for that... Here is the latest draft of my letter of motivation, I have incorporated your ideas and views with my older letters, please have a look and guide me as always :)

Motivation letter

The motivation in pursuing a masters is to obtain both the theoretical knowledge with applicable research abilities and practical professional skills at a higher level.Within the concentration of your Masters programme of Development studies, I have a great interest in the field of gender sustainability and political economy of development specifically the rural development and agriculture.

Hargun, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate the fact that you find my help truly useful and inspiring. I hope I can continue to inspire you to keep working on this letter as well :-) It is still in need of revisions but I believe we are slowly getting to the polishing stage for it. Can you tell me when you plan to submit this? I need to make sure we don't miss the deadline for submission.

Now, please do me a favor and place the following information in the first paragraph:

1. The goal of your desire to study a masters in Development Studies. What career or job do you see yourself working in after you complete the course?

2. The relation of that goal with your current job. For example, are you interested in the masters course because you want to get a promotion at your current job?

Those are the 2 major questions that need to be represented in your first paragraph. You do not offer that information at all in your current SOP version so that paragraph does not really work. The answers need to have a personal connection far beyond theoretical knowledge and applicable research abilities. However, you can still mention the interest in the field of gender sustainability and political economy of development. It is one of the motivations for your interest in the course.

Is there any possibility that you have actual work or professional experience that can relate to your interest in the masters studies? If you can show that you have been working in a related field, you will better be able to portray the necessity for your studies and the usefulness that it will offer you first, as a professional and then, as a member of the industry. Your essay contains too much academic references that do not really help paint a picture of you as a current professional who know how and why these masters studies are relevant to your work duties. The historical aspect of your study and the questions that you have could best be represented as a manner of research that you look forward to undertaking as a masters student. Don't pose any questions in your essay that you cannot provide an answer to. You are not defending a thesis or dissertation here.

Retain your paragraph about your plans for returning home and the position that you wish to work in as a member of the foundation. That plays right into the short and long term career plan expectation of a statement of purpose. It is one of your strong and more applicable paragraphs in the current essay. The conclusion is also strong and works with this essay. You do not need the closing salutation that you have now. This is not a formal letter. It is a statement / essay.

1. The goal of your desire to study a masters in Development Studies. What career or job do you see yourself working in after you complete the course?

After completing my masters I want to help an organisation for which i am volunteering right now i.e. connecting dreams foundation.They work for women empowerment using entrepreneurship and also in future i wish to join UN. Since I am writing that my thesis would be on rural development so I thought of working in the same.

2. The relation of that goal with your current job. For example, are you interested in the masters course because you want to get a promotion at your current job?

I am a undergraduate student and I have a pretty strong CV. I have interned for National Commission for women for a month, a Non profit organisation working for women's rights, National Human rights commission and i have been part of undergraduate research projects, but i was uncertain as in how will I incorporate these things in a paragraph because I dont want to exceed the word limit of 900-950 words...

and @vangiespen , i have thought of submitting my documents by 31st october , otherwise the last date is 13th november ^_^

Hargun, I am going to try something here because you really cannot understand the instructions I am giving you. You are unable to formulate the correct statement of purpose for your masters degree course and time is running out on you. I am going to show an example of how to write your Statement of Purpose. My sample will be incomplete but you can use it as your template. This is really a very simple piece of writing that should not be as problematic as you have made it. You keep trying to turn in a research paper as a statement of purpose. That is not what you need. No matter how I try to guide you, you just can't come up with the correct answers that are required for it. I have a gut feeling that if I do not step in this way, you are going to miss your deadline with the endless revisions we have been working on because you just don't get it.

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This is how you should write the opening paragraph. All it should contain is your purpose for higher studies:
As an undergraduate student, I realize that I may not be considered a strong contender for a masters degree as I lack the required professional experience for a masters degree applicant. However, I firmly believe that I do not require work experience in order to pursue my goal of gaining the theoretical and practical knowledge required in order to research gender issues in relation to the farmer suicides that have been happening in India. By continuing to pursue higher studies immediately after my undergraduate studies I will be able to create a relevant and useful research paper regarding the issue that will hopefully, help to end the injustice being unleashed upon the farmers of India.

This is what paragraph 2 should contain (talk about your internship):
I hope that you will not underestimate my qualifications and ability to complete this course based upon my being an undergraduate. As you can see from my supporting documents, I have managed to create an impeccable resume that details my important internship work that carries a direct relevance to my chosen major. As an intern for the National Commission for Women during the National Women's Month, I assisted with projects that celebrated women's rights in coordination with the National Human Rights Commission of my country

You can use your existing paragraph 4 as the paragraph 3 of the new essay. Close with paragraph number 5. That will be a solid enough statement of purpose for your application. The paragraph 1 and 2 that I created is the guideline by which you have to write those paragraphs. Do not change the content, just write something along the lines of my example. We can clean it up and spin it later.

Thanks one again , one last query i suppose hahaha... my professors told me that you must include what you are studying and how that related to your course and even i checked on some websites of SoP this thing was common and this is why i wrote this...

"In my under-graduate studies, I was disturbed by the development trajectories of Indian economy since Independence when we were doing our semester course on "Development Process and Social Movements in Contemporary India" and "Sociology of Contemporary India", where I studied about the process of development that our country had adopted for its economic growth and how it is impacting the society and its elements.On issue specifically really made me question my own self and that was of farmer suicide due to agrarian reforms and lack of government attention. After examining the facts and stories laid down by P.Sainath ,who is one of the first Indians who had worked on the agrarian crisis extensively,I realized that peasant women are often not part of the frame when we are doing a research on agrarian crisis and its impact in India.And, this is why I felt that it is necessary to help the peasant women who have suffered from the agrarian crisis since 1991. I would like to learn about theories and programs that can help me undo or prevent further damage to the women in this sector of our society."

But, you asked me to omit this whole thing, so I am really worried as to what should I exactly include, one side say to include such info and you asked to omit .Lord!! help me again!

Hargun, when you are in doubt because of all the differing advice that you receive, then you have to learn to choose which option you consider best for yourself. Weigh the options you have been given, review your essay, compare the effectiveness of the message it delivers first with the paragraph in question, and then without the paragraph. Then review your work from the point of view of a reviewer.

Which information do you think is uninteresting or unimportant from that point of view? That is most likely the information or paragraph that you should remove. At the end of all the editing we assist you in doing, it is ultimately your comfort and satisfaction with what you wrote that matters the most. We can only guide you so far.

My reason for omitting that paragraph is because I feel that it is a repetition of information that you provided with your supporting documents. Normally, people who apply for masters degree admission already have at least 2 years work experience or simultaneous undergraduate and work experience to call on when writing their SOP. You do not have any relevant work experience and your SOP really sounds more like you are presenting a topic approval for a dissertation or thesis more than anything else. The inclusion of that paragraph totally changes the slant of your SOP from professional to academic.

Now, I have given my opinion on the matter, you have to decide about whether to include the paragraph or not. Keep in mind that you have other supporting documents that you have submitted with your application. This SOP is just one of the factors that will be considered with your request for admission. If you feel that your supporting documents are not strong enough to support your desire for admission, then maybe, you should try to make the SOP all about your academic background instead of the more relevant experiences you may have had in relation to your interests. The choice is really yours :-)

I totally get your point! I have to calm myself down and decide! thank you really, for your time and concern!! :) and would get back to you if i have further doubts...

@Vangiespen, I am in a dilemma, I find your second paragraph really good but it doesn't matches my Cv. So I thought of sharing with you my professional cv . I want to include my work experience but I am not getting as to how should I go about...The problem is coming in forming that paragraph.And, this is one of the main paragraphs off my SoP... :/

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Hargun, I looked over your CV and I can understand why you have a dilemma. However, I cannot write the second paragraph for you. As you can see, I only gave you examples of the information each paragraph has to contain. It is meant to serve as your guide when writing the statement of purpose, it is not supposed to be the actual purpose unless you want it to be.

One way I can think of to help you fix this problem is to have you revise the second paragraph yourself. From the list of your internships , pick the one that you think will help you stand out the most in the application process. Which one internship do you think best represents your abilities as an intern? How relevant will that internship be to the achievement of your purpose? If the internship fits the criteria, then use that one, just one in the essay. The rest of your internships can be referred to by the reviewer when he examines your application documents.

Your main problem is that you keep on trying to place all of the information that you already have in your CV in the essay. The essay is just an overview as I told you before. So there is no need to give more detailed information in it. I know that you are stressed out because I used an internship of yours that you do not feel is strong enough or relevant to your goal. So go ahead and change it. Then post it here so I can review it with you for final polishing. That is the most help I can give you at this point :-)

I hope that you will not underestimate my qualifications and ability to complete this course based upon my being an undergraduate. As you can see from my supporting documents, I have managed to create an impeccable resume that details my important internship and research work that carries a direct relevance to my chosen major. It was apparent to me that I should keep in touch with the real world and that we college students are molders of society's future. Guided by this understanding, I took every chance to go beyond my textbooks and wet my feet in several extracurricular activities. I am serving currently as the Education officer for my "Connecting Dreams Foundation - College Chapter",It is a college society for which i am volunterring and it was after being a part of this organization I got to know the bitter realities of the rural India at the ground level . And, one of the incident while on a village visit ruminated and shocked me when one of the village women representative shared her story how the society instead of supporting her after the death of her husband, dissaproved her because she was a widow then and how feudal forces and the state officials attempted to crush her hopes of living by using violence and how they attempted to maintain the status quo when she had decided to lead other women like her to work on fields.

Therefore, being a part of Masters in Development Studies would help me study the impact of the agrarian crisis on peasant women from a multi-disciplinary perspective thus would help me in understanding the problem and finding solution for the same in a professional sense . I hope to develop advanced knowledge in the area of rural development and agriculture from a feminist perspective under the guidance of your faculty who have so much experience in the field of rural development and Gender...

@vangiespen I am really curious to know if that paragraph sounds good or not...

Hargun, instead of trying to tell stories to the reviewer, you should be concentrating on presenting information that directly relates to your interest in Development research. Either you discuss how you want to help farmers or, you discuss the plight of peasant women in the essay. You really cannot do both. I keep on telling you to choose only one, the most significant and important of your activities as an undergraduate, which will have the most impact upon your application due to your lack of professional experience. If this is the story that you choose to use, then go ahead and use it.

The only advice that I can give you which I hope can help you better utilize this story is for you to tell the reviewer that you have a definite research study you want to perform while you are a masters degree student which can help ease the plight of the women. Make sure to involve the university by explaining how their department, professors, and resources will be pivotal in the completion of your research. Let the reviewer know that you hope to prevent a repeat of what happened to that women through the results of your study.

Don't just hope to gain more knowledge. Tell the reviewer what you are interested in learning. What classes? Which professors do you hope to work with? By identifying specific avenues of learning at the university, which are in accordance with your own interests and plans, you just might be able to convince the reviewer that you have the ability to successfully complete the course and utilize your new found knowledge in your future career.. Don't forget to mention what that career will be. That is the main purpose for your enrollment in higher studies.

@vangiespen Greetings and first of all a very happy new year to you and beloved ones! :) So, finally the results are out and it has been really good, so wanted to share with you and thank you for guiding me and helping me with my SoP :) Thank you!