Please I need you guys to help edit this SOP for me. it was for a scholarship into a UK school. thanks so much
"Boys will be boys" is the usual conclusion parents arrive at when they discuss the mischief their sons have been up to and the mess they make while playing. My parents always told me they could not agree whole-heartedly when it came to the topic of 'boys breaking their toys' because I didn't. Instead I dismantled mine, piece by piece, and then re-assembled them (with the aid tape or glue!).
As I grew older and dismantled more sophisticated items, like my radio and electromotive train engine, my parent knew I was cut out for science but they were not sure if it was behind the theatre doors in surgery, or with complex machinery for fabrication in the workshop. In the end, I made the choice, because I saw the complexity in the organ systems of the human body, and I also saw a limitation in the design and re-design of such systems to make them faster, stronger, and better.
I had no name to relay my desire to monitor and control as well as optimize and design systems, but with my vast knowledge of the sciences, I was advised by my parents and mentors to study Chemical Engineering in my degree program.
In my third year, I applied for an internship programme in many industries with well structured processes, and my request was honoured by the Nigerian National Petroleum Cooperation (NNPC). There, my supervisor always lectured me on the Production Process of Crude Oil, along side corrosion mitigation in pipelines which my department focused on.
My zeal for practical experience in Crude Oil Production led me to a second internship, but with Mobil Producing Nigeria Unlimited,where I was taken to an offshore platform, at EKPE Gas Compression Project, Akwa-Ibom, Nigeria. In addition to gaining knowledge in Crude Oil production and separation, I was introduced to a Distributed Control System (DCS) which cabinets for all the integrated controllers and intelligent devices, furnished on the platform. That was when the name Process Systems was given birth to in my career life.
The DCS was a major influence in my choice, to do a Numerical Computation course and the final year research thesis, in process control ,under the supervision of a renowned Control Professor, Femi Taiwo.
I wish to further my research on the Optimal Operation of installed industrial equipment which will require advance control, prediction, detection, diagnosis and elimination of upsets to production and capacity constraints.
My desire as a young boy for the knowledge of the smooth running of process systems affected all aspects of my life, as I have been honoured with awards, such as the most-hardworking Logistics Coordinator, Induction Committee, Junior Chambers International, Nigeria and Most Outstanding President, FEDACAD Ex-students Association. The desire still burns alive today as I am presently working as a Trainee Process Engineer in a Nigerian Oil Serving Firm.
With the aid of the Petroleum Technology Development Fund Overseas Scholarship, I wish to obtain a higher level qualification from a top ranking University with International reputation, where I can improve my skills in design, problem solving, numeracy, analysis, commutation and teamwork for a successful career in the Oil and Gas Industry. My Father is an excellent example of a product of this scheme.
By taking advantage of the Nigerian Content provision, I will engage in projects, with my acquired knowledge, to bridge the local capacity gaps in infrastructure upgrades, resource training, management and financing as well as technical and realistic methods to totally harness my nation's abundant source of reservoir gas for human consumption.
This sentence is a tough one, but I'll try to interpret it and fix it:
I had no outlet for my enthusiasm about monitor and control as well as optimize and design systems, but that changed as I grew older. With my vast knowledge of the sciences I was advised by my parents and mentors to study Chemical Engineering in my degree program.
Does that seem like what you were trying to say?
:-)
As I grew older and dismantled more sophisticated items, like my radio and electromotive train engine, my parents knew I was...
There, my supervisor always lectured me on the Production Process of Crude Oil, along side corrosion mitigation in pipelines which my department focused on.
That was when the name 'Process Systems' gave birth to my chosen career.
The DCS was a major influence in my choice, to do a Numerical Computation course and the final year research thesis in process control,...
I wish to further my research on the Optimal Operation of installed industrial equipment, which will require...
The desire still burns alive today, as I am presently working as a Trainee Process Engineer in a Nigerian Oil Serving Firm.
... I wish to obtain a higher level qualification from a top ranking University with an International reputation, where I can improve...
My Father is an excellent example of a product of this scheme.This really doesn't belong in the essay, unless there's more to say about him. Has he influenced you? Are you following in his footsteps?
...resource training, management and financing as well as technical and realistic methods to totally harness my nation's abundant source of reservoir gas for human consumption.'Human consumption' usually means eating!
