Hello everyone,
One university I am applying asks me to write additional information relevant to your application, such as a statement of purpose, personal statement or details of other achievements/interests with a maximum word count of 2500. So I decided to write a SOP and I try to use the guidelines given in this page. So could you give me your comments on this please? Thanks in advance.
the ever-changing wireless communication technology
Studying undergraduate program on Electrical and Computer Engineering was my first step in being part of the ever-changing wireless communication technology. At the beginning of my 4th year study I had an opportunity to join communication and electronics engineering stream that enabled me to introduce myself with the more of communication courses. My study includes a four month internship time at a broadcasting media agency which helped me to know more about practical world of the field in addition to theory. I had further enhanced my knowledge and skill in wireless communication system with studying my masters on communication system engineering. During my study time I had introduce myself and upgrade my knowledge and skill with the courses of wireless and mobile communication, telecommunication, advanced digital signal processing, advanced digital communications, information theory and coding, optical communication, data communication, RF system design and other core areas of the field. Also my thesis works for both my undergraduate and postgraduate study are on the areas of wireless communication field.
Immediately after the completion of my undergraduate study I was appointed as a lecturer in the university which gave me an opportunity not only to share what I had but also to learn continually in an everyday basis. My responsibilities as a lecture are to give lecture, tutorial classes and also supporting students during their laboratory sessions on the courses such as wireless and mobile communication digital signal processing, network analysis and synthesis and electronics. Besides my teaching work I am also working as a section adviser for more than 100 students in order to help them in everything to the success of their study to achieve their future career plans with having a leading role. Also I had an opportunity to attend seminars and conferences during my work and that gave me an insight for the future development of my study and work. During those times there were presenters from different places and their works made me realize I need to explore more of the wireless communication technology in order to upgrade my knowledge and skill by studying further with the university in a high quality so that I can achieve my goals.
In returning to my home country immediately after the completion of my postgraduate study, I will go back to the university that I am working now. Being a lecturer enables me to apply the theoretical knowledge and practical skill that I conquered to the study of wireless communication systems. I will be part of the wireless communication research group that would conduct problem solving researches for the development of the society by cooperating with the concerned bodies.
In Ethiopia there are very few number of specialist Doctors available who are working in some hospitals which is found in some cities mostly in the capital city. However, the number of patients who need to be seen and have a continual attention by those specialists are very high. Due to that all these patients from all over the country will be sent to those few hospitals which takes a longer time to be checked up by those specialists due to the queue that exists in those hospitals. And that will cause the illness of those patients to become worse and even leads to their death while waiting.
As a wireless communication system graduate; I will use the knowledge, skill and network I acquire in University of Southampton to work on a project to have wireless patient monitoring system to overcome the stated problem and improve the health service provision of the country. This projects deals with the implementation of wireless communication system in medical application as the wireless communication would provide remote accessing capability in order to keep track of critical health conditions with a real time health monitoring system. And this project will work on designing, developing and implementation of a wireless based remote patient monitoring system for remote follow-up and supervision of patients which will have a vast application for patients who are in far place from specialist doctors. Also it will enable the specialists to assist a lot of Doctors and health officers from all over the country in facilitating early diagnosis, accelerate care delivery and prompt intervention to help make informed, thoughtful decisions which will improve the health care system and increase its accessibility. I will work together with governmental and non-governmental organizations and also professionals of the related field by cooperation for the success of this long term project.
University of Southampton is one of the top universities not only in the UK but also in the world with its Electrical and Electronics Engineering department which made everyone to be interested to be enrolled in this university of course including me. There are many reasons that draw my attention to this wonderful university. The modules available would enable to have an up-to-date knowledge and skill set development on the field of wireless communication with the existence of latest and core content coverage supported by top laboratories which is provided by the university's distinguished teaching staff of industry and research leading practitioners and faculty academicians.
It is perfect for me as it offers an in depth analytical study of current practice in wireless systems and provides the perfect mix of theory and practice in all aspects of modern communication systems applicable to today's ever-changing field of wireless communication. Also the research and project areas available for the students to be supported by the university even makes me to be much more interested to the university. Conducting a problem solving researches for the betterment of the life of the society is my future plan and the research areas available for my field would lead me to the success of my plans as the university's researches are world leading researches and being a member of such group will boost my knowledge and skills not only to become successful on my future research and project plans but also it would give me a chance to have my own little contribution too. (1002 words)Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Hiwot, I am not sure what made you think that you wrote a statement of purpose when all you did was combine various aspects of all the other essays that you wrote into this essay. Which created a confusing presentation. In addition to that, you are risking being rejected for your application to this university because, should this university run this essay through a plagiarism checker, they will find that the essay you submitted is a plagiarism of other essays that you submitted to other universities. Yes, some universities do check for plagiarism, specially when it is a foreign student who is applying. That makes this essay dangerous to use. Why don't you try to write a new SOP instead that just falls within the required elements of a SOP? The required elements are:
1. Give a one sentence mention of your college degree to help introduce your previous masters degree. Give a lengthy discussion of your previous masters degree course as it applies to the current masters course you are applying to. Make the connection between your previous masters classes and how this course is a continuation of what you learned previously.
2. Explain how you have applied your previous learning experience in your workplace. To what extent have you successfully used it? Why do you feel that you are now in need of additional advanced knowledge coming from this connected field? Be specific and mention the names of the places where you gained training and internships.
3. What skills do you hope to enhance from your already existing abilities through this course? What additional skills do you hope to learn as well? Be specific.
4. Discuss your master thesis in summary form, connecting it some sort of future use in your profession.
5. Why did you choose this university? What parts of the academic curriculum / internship programs do you think will be most beneficial to you? Be specific.
6. Detail you next 5 year career plan leading up to another academic undertaking as a PhD student.
The reason I am no longer including your college education in this discussion is because you are specifying that this is your second masters degree. Therefore, your previous masters degree will be the new basis of your whole study objectives. Your previous college degree is not as important anymore because it is already the discussion of how you used your previous masters degree to improve your profession and work opportunities. While you do have a personal slant in the essay, none of those personal motivations will be useful if you cannot improve your professional aspect first. The personal slant should be included in a letter of motivation, not an SOP. There is a difference between the two. The current guidelines I provided will help you create a SOP for a person who already has a previous MS degree and is looking to increase his career opportunities further.
