My statement of purpose for MS in electrical engineering (Renewable energy) - UK admission

Hello,

Please give me comment on my SOP for UK admission. I know that am not that good in English, hope you guys will help me asap.

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engineering is the best option for me

A fascination for Science & Technology and keen interest in the ever-growing world technology motivated me to take up engineering. Since from childhood I was very keen on engineering; as a kid, I used to dismantle the parts of my toys in order to see smallest parts inside. Later, during my adolescent years, I found that I had strong inner passion for mathematics which resulted throughout my school days I used to score more than 80 % in science subjects especially in mathematics. Soon, I realised that engineering will be best option for me to study further.

During the summer seasons in 90s, in my state used to have regular power cut, so as a school student I used to ask my parents and teachers about the reasons for power cut. They gave me fundamental idea about the electrical power sources, generation and distribution and told about the non conventional energy shortage in India, especially in south India. By seeing my interest in electrical energy, teachers and especially my father who is a civil engineer told me to take Electrical Engineering as my graduate study. It worth's mentioning that, in finals, at my last year of high school, as always I had the best scores in class and I got admission to one of the leading institute in state based on merit at state level entrance examination. I had kept my high standards in result throughout graduate and post graduate studies right from childhood.

The engineering degree gave me opportunity to learn and explore how fundamental of science are applied to create technology for practical and real purpose. My undergraduate education has exposed me to a wide range of excellent courses in Electrical and Electronics Engineering. Also has helped me consolidate my understanding of power systems in terms of generation, transmission, distribution, power quality and importance of power electronics in energy conversion process. In addition to these, I had the opportunity to work on several laboratory experiments that helped me learn the practical aspects of electrical as well as electronic systems. The final year project at Indian telephone Industry; one of leading government firms in south India gave me an opportunity to make more practical use of theory knowledge gained in class. Developed a prototype model for the firm as variable frequency drive and proved, that will make significant improvements in the industry both interns of money and energy. Also during the study, the industrial visit to diesel power plant and conversation with senior power plant electrical engineers in terms of shortage of fuel, pollution, energy loss in conversion process made me to realise the importance conventional type of energy.

I had a strong passion to study further in electrical energy after my graduation, which guides me to write post graduation entrance exam and I got good rank in top 250 out of 15K students appeared in the country. This post graduate study about power electronics and drive gave much more knowledge about renewable energy, power semi conductors, electrical power conversion process and power quality. We had subjects about renewable energy sources and as part of study visited couple of wind power plant in Tamil Nadu, which gave me more practical idea about the structure and conversion process of wind mill. Also dean gave us wonderful opportunity to make prototype model of solar system by our self. We divide among our self, made small groups and done different structured solar units. I was the leader of my team and won best among the others. Later we combined units gave to an orphanage at Coimbatore. Also during study period, participated several seminars and awareness program about renewable energy organised by state and college.

Later we had company placements at institute and I was one among the luckiest person to get selected in one of the leading MNC firm in the country called Cognizant Technology Solutions after written, group discussion and interview tests. The years in Cognizant were really good; even though I had few chances to increase my knowledge on energy, I was one among the person who always supported the 'Go Green' Initiative from the company. Every year we had several sessions and seminars to improve the energy efficiency at our office; I was one among the active participant and gave inputs. The training at Cognizant and work with both national and international colleagues in a big MNC firm gave me good foundation to build a strong work ethics. Also USA was one of our clients; working with them gave me good exposure in international level as well. Very soon, after joining company I was promoted to lead of 5 member team by seeing my leadership qualities. Company gave me good foundation for strong analytical, interpersonal, organisational skills and also wonderful opportunity for social services in the form of Cognizant-Outreach, a cooperate social initiative; activities such as School adoption, Notebook drive, Teaching etc

Later in order to get much more exposure to electrical energy area, I was moved to middle east. Even though I selected in many MNC firms at UAE, I chose Atlas telecommunication as my next company. By seeing my interest in energy area, company send me as contract employee in Nuclear Energy cooperation, which was the firm who building first nuclear plant in Middle east. The company gave me very big exposure to energy sector; I was chosen one among the key employee to work from the most restricted working area in the country. I was witnessed several big machines and methodologies in plant for generating power, that lead me to realise in practical the amount of risk, money, equipment, resources required for the project and tedious nuclear waste handling process. These days at UAE gave me much more strong reasons to believe the importance of renewable energy resources and I have decided to study further about renewable energy in depth.

Our planet is in critical state and we need to change the way we were thinking till now. It is time to begin abandoning fossil-fuel based electricity generation, in favour of implementing green energy. In all countries green energy should be the primary source to generate power rather than non-renewable. When I try to figure out the best country to study about the program, I found that UK will be the best among the others by seeing green initiatives from the country and I have decided to study in a 'Energy Institute' accredited prestigious university.

Although I am applying as an international student and I am going be in a foreign country, I have no doubt that I will succeed in completing my Masters Degree in the UK, because I am a social and outgoing person who is keen on travelling and discovering new cultures. I feel that pursing master degree from your college will give me a bright and fulfilling future that would be most grateful to acquire. I am confident that I will be able to cope with the high standards set by university. Being a hardworking and sincere student I am sure that I will complete my graduate study with excellent results. I look forward to making full use of the opportunities afforded to me at your university.

Sibil, the essay will open on a more solid and related note if you lead in with what is currently your second paragraph. The reasons that it strengthens your presentation is because it presents a solid mindset from an acceptable point in your life in relation to your interests in Electrical Engineering. Now, since that is the main focus of your essay, you should present a paragraph as to why you have chosen to pursue these studies in the UK. It seems that you are applying to a specific university, why haven't you mentioned it in the SOP? Normally, the SOP includes a paragraph regarding your university of choice, why you chose it, and what you hope to learn during your time at the university. Show a familiarity with the "renewable energy" slant of the masters degree program the university offers in relation to your interests and future career growth ideas.

Thanks a lot.

I will make more modification as per your comment.

Thanks
Sibil

As per your comments, I changed my first para as(just removed first sentence, clubbed 2,1 paragraph)

And last 2 para as.............. (Added details about college and future)

Good revision. It carries the required information now and better discusses the purpose of your desire to study abroad. While your later discussion about the university can be better presented, I am assuming that you are not yet familiar with the kinds of classes you will be attending and who the professors who might be teaching you are. So the way that you presented it at the moment is acceptable enough for your SOP. If you can, please provide a simple discussion as to what the current problem in relation to renewable energy has caught your interest, the reason for it, and how you hope to use your masters degree to develop a solution to the problem. That will help to create a more recognizable purpose for your higher study. At the moment, it is not as clear as it should be.

Thanks a ton .

You are doing great service to others. I think our friends itself wont spend this much time to read and comment about the topic. Thanks :)

The climate change paragraph needs to be revised from its current global context to a more localized or national representation. So, instead of discussing the alternative energy resource on a global scale as you are doing now, focus on the problem as your home country faces it and how bad it has become. Represent your home country in order to create a more believable statement. Don't take on the whole world. Nobody can effect a significant change alone on a world wide scale. Remember that. Revise that paragraph to be more country specific and the word count should go down and allow you to better discuss the problem. The next paragraph in your thread is alright. I don't think we need to revise that part unless your revision of the previous paragraph strays too much from the projected discussion. In which case, we will need to revise the last paragraph as well. We can decide upon that once you complete the revision. Sorry about constantly asking you to change things, that's the only way we can improve your work.

Don't thank me. I haven't done anything yet. You are the one who is doing all the work. I am just guiding you towards the path that will most likely help you succeed. You are the one accomplishing the hardest task of revising your essay. So thank you for being patient with all of the changes I am asking you to make.