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Personal Statement for Imperial College London -Masters in Materials Engineering (comment/criticize)

itoffi3 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2019   #1

application for Masters Programme

Since my childhood, I have been intrigued by the fundamental working principles governing our world. I was always curious about everything, to the point where I would break my toys to see what was inside and what made them work. It is this inquest that led me to take up science as my high school major and after securing 18th position with 94.4% in my Higher Secondary School Examination, I cleared the JEE (Joint Entrance Examination) and secured myself an admission in the coveted National Institute of Technology Srinagar, from where I have pursued a Bachelor's degree in Metallurgical and Materials Engineering. I chose this field because I wanted to understand the basic building blocks of the universe, of how the materials functioned, and gain knowledge about the concepts governing the world of science and technology as well as its varied applications in different areas. The field of Material Science and Engineering was a perfect launching pad, as it had diverse subjects that allowed me to fulfill my inquest.

In my undergraduate years, I was given comprehensive training in basic sciences and engineering, with emphasis on my professional major beginning from the second year. In addition to core subjects relating to Material science, physics, and chemistry, I studied subjects of various disciplines ranging from Industrial Economics and Management to Numerical Methods and Computer Programming. This diverse course allowed me to be able to choose from careers in many sectors that are at the forefront of technological developments. Exposure to a dynamic curriculum with subjects such as Material Charecterisation, Electronics, Magentics and Dielectric materials, Ceramics, Glass and Polymer Technology allowed me to gain first-hand experience in the different fields of Materials engineering and I completed my Bachelor's degree (B.Tech) in Metallurgical and Materials Science Engineering at the National Institute of Technology Srinagar, India with a CGPA of 8.375 on a scale of 10 (83.75%) and was ranked among the top five students in the class.

In order to enhance my knowledge and hone my industrial skills by learning about various industrial processes, I worked on the project titled 'Improvement of Gas recovery in Basic Oxygen furnace' at JSW Steel Karnataka, the sixth largest steel plant in the world. I was selected for an internship at the Gas Turbine Research Establishment (GTRE), a laboratory of the Defence Research and Development Organization (DRDO), under the Ministry of Defence, Government of India. During my internship, I worked on a project titled 'Braze pellet synthesis and Micro-Tensile testing of materials for Gas Turbines' and was exposed to the design and production of Gas Turbine Engines as well as telemetry systems for aerospace use. This particular experience shaped my inclination towards research on electronics, devices, and sensors, and In order to pursue my interest in digital sensors and Nano-electronics, I took up a secondary project in my bachelor's degree, titled 'Digitalization of Universal Testing Machine' in which I used digital dial gauges, ultrasonic sensors, electronic relay circuits, and microcontrollers to upgrade the existing analog Universal Testing Machine into a digital computer-controlled machine with an error of less than 1%.

In my academic assignment, I worked on my B.Tech final year project entitled 'A Study on Severe Plastic Deformation of High Phosphorus Iron by Equal Channel Angular Pressing and Predictive modeling by using Artificial Neural Networks'. The project investigated the effect of severe plastic deformation technique (SPD) on the microstructure and mechanical properties of high Phosphorus Iron, using Equal channel angular pressing (ECAP) technique, one of the severe plastic deformation methods. The work involved die design and geometry, sample material preparation, deformation routes, and heat treatment. The properties of the processed iron were then predicted using artificial neural networks, and the results were found to be satisfactory. In this project, I was able to Incorporate Artificial Intelligence modules to predict the properties of High phosphorous iron without actually doing the tests. The project was an amalgam of my basic engineering discipline of Materials Science and complex computer programming and was adjudged the best project in my department.

After graduating, I started working as a management trainee at Dask Power Pvt. Ltd, one of the leading engineering and power Solutions Company in my state. My professional experience has helped me hone my leadership skills to a great extent. I was assigned to a team of engineers handling backup power and distribution. My primary responsibilities included planning and resource allocation for job sites, interaction with clients, progress reviews and commercial conclusions of many key projects, which were important for business development. I was part of the team that showed a great deal of persistence and commitment in handling and managing the different engineering projects that the company undertook.

Apart from my academics, I also worked as a Campus Recruitment Coordinator for my college, and this gave me a chance to improve my communication skills by interacting with people from various organizations and backgrounds. I constantly volunteered in various NGOs and served at various positions which reflect on my resume. I was appointed the Creative Head and Community Outreach Coordinator of The Innovations Forum of Kashmir (IFK). I have also represented my college in numerous debates and symposiums and have been awarded the best speaker award. I helped organise various cultural festivals and events in my college, and was selected the CoConvener at Techvaganza, the largest techno-cultural festival of our state with a participation of over 10,000 students from across the country.

I acquired better analytical and organizational skills to deal with company problems because of the hands-on approach during my internships. Through my experiences in research and practical training, I was able to perceive the complexity of the field of Materials Science Engineering and realized that I should pursue a career in this field. A Master's course in Advanced Materials Science and Engineering will add to my existing knowledge of Materials Science and with this advanced knowledge and guidance, I can give a direction to my ideas and future career goals. My main motive behind taking this course is to gain an in-depth understanding of key factors shaping the design and selection of materials used in advanced engineering applications, their processing, properties, and stability. The modules of the course such as Material Characterisation, Ceramic and Glasses, Surface Engineering, Polymers and Composites are closely related to the modules I have studied in my undergraduate programme and are of great interest to me.

After a careful review of the Masters Programme at Imperial College London, I believe the curriculum fully suits my aspirations. I am a diligent, hardworking and resourceful individual with a penchant for research. I believe that being a student in your department would give me the framework and resources to utilize my full potential. The Practical and hands-on discussion-oriented approach of teaching at the Imperial College London will not only enrich me academically but will also help me to have a dynamic outlook as a person. Imperial is a crossroads for students from diverse cultures and ethnicities and I hope to be a part of this environment. With my dedication and hard work, I will utilize the given opportunity to the fullest.

Tafheem Qadri.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Nov 1, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! Hopefully, my feedback will give you an idea on how to improve your writing to better your essay.

First and foremost, the first paragraph is quite put-together. I appreciate how you had integrated a smoother writing approach that does not clutter the main idea of the text. What I do recommend, however, is switching where you put your thesis sentence in. I found it midway through the first paragraph, whereas it should have been in the initial opening parts of the content. Please do keep in mind that putting this main thought bubble earlier will help guide readers to avoid confusion in what you are intending to relay as a message.

What I find generally confusing are the third paragraphs onward. It seems as though the method of writing in this part was no longer sequential, making it appear like a messy timeline more than anything else. Always try to avoid these instances because you will not benefit from them in the long-run. Try to always stick with a specific format before anything.
Nana Byl 2 / 4 4  
Nov 1, 2019   #3
Overall, i think you put in a good statement but I think you can rework the chronology a bit. Your opening was on point and conveyed the message. However, from the third paragraph onward, I couldn't follow the the thoughts again.

Regroup your experiences in one paragraph, and find a transient link between your experience and goal to the course and how the modules could help you achieve it. Also, complement the school a little bit. Create a story and tell it uniquely.
OP itoffi3 1 / 1  
Nov 1, 2019   #4
Thank you for the feedback, I will try and work on formatting it in the required way. It looks more like a a timeline of my life, agreed. I will try to link the different paragraphs so that it doesnt seem disoriented. Thank you for the feedback :)

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