Personal Statement for JHU Master of applied Econ program

Hello everybody! I am writing a personal statement to apply for the JHU graduate applied economic program, please give me some advise to edit it. I appreciate for your help!

My academic aspirations

I am a Chinese International Student that has recently completed a Bachelors Degree at Arizona State University in Mathematics. My academic aspirations have always included advanced training in statistics and economics; for this reason I decided to take two graduate-level courses in Statistics while at ASU. Upon successful completion of these courses, a respectable GPA in a Mathematics program, undergraduate coursework in Economics, an internship experience in the finance field, and even undergraduate research in Statistics, I am confident that I am adequately prepared for John Hopkin's Masters degree Program in Applied Economics.

My background is well suited for work that is quantitatively dense. However, I believe that I should enhance my education with a more applied field. A Masters degree in Applied Economics in conjunction with my undergraduate degree in mathematics will provide me with the skills necessary to succeed in today's market. I have an interest in Jobs such as Data Scientist, Financial Forecasting, Economic consultant and so forth. With increasing labor competition for positions in these jobs, especially in the Asian and American Labor force, I must further my education to remain a competitive candidate. For this reason, as well as careful consideration, I am applying to JHU's Masters degree program in Applied Economics. I recognized that JHU's program, with elective courses in time-series analysian and Bayesian-inferenced econometrics, is best suited for me.

If admitted, I will strive to learn to the best of my capabilities as I have done before while an Undergraduate student.

Hello, I think it is pretty organized but still need some works to sharpen your point

About arrangement of your essay, I think you had better reorganize this essay following this logic. First, begin why you want to study this master, and then say how and what you have done. Here, you said that you are interested in several jobs like Data scientists or financial forecasters and etc, but why? What intrigues you to pursue those kinds of jobs? Do you have any experience, met someone, or read some article? You could articulate your experience about this and I think those would be more compelling to make an eye-catching essay.

Good luck for your application.

Huang, I do not see a real development of your interest in the Applied Economics Program of the university. As a reviewer, I will be looking for a personal interest in the field. All you have given me are academic details that do not really deliver an image as to why you might be a successful candidate in this program. A personal statement for a masters degree needs to deliver vital information relevant to your field of interest. This means, that you have to introduce yourself in a more relaxed manner. Talk about who you are beyond being a student. Introduce yourself as someone who loves economics but knows how you have fun beyond it as well. Tell me why you have chosen to attend the university that I, as the reviewer represent. Talk to me about what you think makes my university special and why our Master of Applied Econ program is far more excellent than the other choices you had. The information that you present in the latter part of the essay is best suited for the statement of purpose so you will need to remove it from this version and apply it to the SOP instead. Develop a new second paragraph for your essay. Basically, I want you to develop a 5 paragraph essay that best describes who you are as a student, as a person, and as a professional who is interested in this field. Then tell me, in simple terms as you will also be discussing this in greater detail in the SOP, why you chose to seek admission to my university.

@Holt
Hi,thank you for the reply. The admission requires a 250 words statement of purpose, would you like to give me some suggestions based on my ps?