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Personal Statement Review : Masters in Accounting and Finance



helloitisme 1 / -  
Nov 16, 2024   #1
Hi everyone, please kindly review the draft of my personal statement. I am trying to apply to US for next fall to pursue Ms in Accounting and Finance. Any and all suggestions are appreciated.

My father's passion for finance inspired me early. As a child, after my dad was finished reading the business section of "The Himalayan Times," I would always take a peek at it, trying to make sense of the complicated jargon of the financial world, often giving up in frustration but trying again the next day. Although people ridiculed him for having two daughters, my father was focused on building an investment portfolio-not for himself but to make sure that his daughters could have opportunities he never dared dream of. Now, being a first-generation college student and presently, the first in my family working towards a master's degree, I aim to carry his legacy of financial literacy and independence forward.

As I grew older, so did my affinity for the world of finance; academically, all through my high school and undergraduate studies, I took great interest in preparing financial statements for "XYZ" companies, concluding their financial positions, and felt a sense of joy when the debit and credit side of the balance sheet would equal each other, enjoying the order and clarity that came with the methodical and structural approach of the subject of accountancy.

However, as the globe was learning to cope with the strict lockdown from COVID-19, my parents fell ill to the pandemic. It fell upon me to step up and manage the household finances while supporting them emotionally and mentally. While I assisted my father with managing the family's investment portfolio and assets, this was the first time I had stepped up to manage the entire household. Fortunately, my parents eventually recovered in the end, but looking back, this was a pivotal moment in my life, as the experience taught me the practical applications of financial planning and transformed my lifelong interest into a desire to pursue a career in financial services.

While my career aspirations always lay towards financial services, I recognized that exploring other avenues while I was young would at the very least broaden my skill set and perspectives. Thus, as lockdown began to ease and the world adjusted to its new realities, I seized the chance to intern at a budding tech startup, thrilled to gain insights outside my primary field of interest. The work culture encouraged initiative and exploration, which inspired me to take a full-time role with the company and then take on management and leadership roles while simultaneously demonstrating my academic commitment by gradually improving my GPA from 3.5 to 3.88 during my undergraduate studies specializing in banking and finance.

Based on these foundations, I was able to acquire a range of valuable experiences. At Dharma Adventures, I redesigned the social media and website management strategies, resulting in a 15% increase in the website's traffic. More importantly, my role sparked an interest in assessing the role of financial operations in marketing decisions. Likewise, at Danson Solutions, I led key marketing research and campaigns, including 'Megamania,' a nationwide online gaming competition for the newly launched learning platform, which not only widened the company's target market in terms of engagement while also taking an active stance in representing and promoting the company in various tech exhibits and competitions. Additionally, I co-managed the startup contest "Hult Prize International at Shanker Dev Campus" as Deputy Campus Director and organized training sessions, collegiate contests, and other events. These experiences boosted my confidence in data analysis and event and campaign management while laying a strong foundation in leadership skills, strategic decision-making, and adaptability skills necessary to excel in a high-pressure professional environment.

Looking back, while I thrived in marketing-related roles, I frequently leaned towards the financial underworkings of my responsibilities. From tracking the expenses of campaign management to accompanying the Executive Director to potential investor and stakeholder meetings, these experiences, along with my academic foundation in the subject, have cemented my desire to pursue a career in accounting.

A career in finance and financial services is still seen as somewhat unconventional for women in my community. Thus, my long-term personal goal is to change that perspective, and my business goal is to build a reputable accounting and financial consulting company with a mission to encourage more women to join the financial sector. That is why I am confident that my master's degree from XYZ University will provide me with all the necessary professional background, connections, and the added focus on the subject needed for dealing effectively with a reputed business that contributes to its public and private stakeholders.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15383  
Nov 17, 2024   #2
My father's passion for finance inspired me early

As I grew older,

These references to childhood influences should be used only for college Accounting major applications. You must go beyond such amateur references in your masters application. The influences that you should be discussing must relate to profession experience related situations and influences already. That is because you are expected to have already been exposed to real world and work problem scenarios that require advanced skills to solve.

However, as the globe was learning to cope with the strict lockdown from COVID-19, my parents fell ill to the pandemic.

The reviewer is not interested in this information. You are oversharing information that is not really helpful to your application. I know this is a personal statement, but you have to know where to draw the line. Personal information like this and early influences do not matter so much in terms of application consideration.


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