Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Graduate   % width   Posts: 4


Talk abt your government's policy and propose your viewpoint -UW application essay



natalieif1225 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2011   #1
Hello,
I would be appreciated if you give me some suggestions about my essay. Thank you

Recently, I saw the news about occupying Wall Street. Protestors claimed that they all have in common is that we are the 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%. A 2 percent New York tax on millionaires will expire in December 2011, and it may not lengthen the tax. On October 11th, those people protested the riches.

From the Occupying Wall Street, it recalls me the Act of Special goods and service in Taiwan. The Act of Special goods and service is so-called "Luxury Tax" for short. In recent years, most of Taiwanese can not afford to buy their own house due to rising price in real estate market. This phenomenon causes social grievances. To tackle with these problems, Taiwan government has passed "Luxury Tax" in 2011. The core reason to pass the "Luxury Tax" is to curb rampant property speculation and shorten the poverty gap. Also, government aims to cool the property market especially in Taipei, the capital in Taiwan.

The details of the luxury tax are that property will be taxed if it is not lived in by owner or sold within two year and that private transportation vehicle over three million New Taiwan dollars, club membership, coral, fur, leather, and antique furniture more than five hundred thousand New Taiwan dollars will be taxed too. However, it makes me wonder whether the act could solve the problem effectively. As far as I may concern, the act should take more time to have a complete skeleton and more consideration.

There are three perspectives for me to illustrate why I think the luxury tax lacks of careful consideration and framework and needs modification.
First, wealth people could buy luxuries such as coral, fur leather abroad. Also, if people buy a set of antique furniture price over NT$500,000, they can report the furniture separately. By doing so, those items would not be taxed. Therefore, the act should be defined more specific and prevent tax avoidance.

Furthermore, as for real estate, Taiwan government did not have specific rule to regulate how to recognize actual transaction price. That is to say, buyers and sellers can report the price at their choice if the cash flow can be explained. It is easy for them to report lower price. Therefore, they can avoid tax and government can not punish them.

Third, other countries had practiced the act similar to Luxury Tax. Take United Sate as an example. United State government had similar rules during the presidency of George Herbert Walker Bush. However, the collapse of industries leads unemployment and the result was unpleasant. Other examples are Hong Kong and Singapore. Both countries have the same problem as Taiwan does and they levy the Luxury Tax. The result of them has to wait for observation.

Basically, I agree to levy the rich tax. For one thing, the problem of poverty gap is getting worse. Government should take action to make a complete and perfect plan for it. For another thing, the rich take more resources to make a fortune from the society so they should contribute part of their wealth to the society. Although many millionaires, such as Warren Buffeett, stand out to promote that wealth people should be taxed more, selfishness makes it hard to come true. This vision could be built only whole people achieve the consensus.

Actually, Taiwan uses progressive tax rate so it means that the government tries to reallocate property. However, the rich always try to find out various methods to reduce their tax. It is hard to define how much should be taxed is fair and what should be taxed. In my opinion, government could study what the wealth people usually use and try to analyze how to tax those things. With careful plan, government can tax the rich effectively and use those taxes on society.

yihrenliu 1 / 14  
Oct 23, 2011   #2
You have a really direct essay! I like it! Hahaha..maybe it's also since it's about Taiwan (I'm from there) that I'm also interested. However, you do have hiccups in your flow and grammay for your last two paragraphs. Cut out the word "Actually" because its super awkward, and read through Third, other countries had practiced the act similar to Luxury Tax. Take United Sate as an example. United State government had similar rules during the presidency of George Herbert Walker Bush. However, the collapse of industries leads unemployment and the result was unpleasant. Other examples are Hong Kong and Singapore. Both countries have the same problem as Taiwan does and they levy the Luxury Tax. The result of them has to wait for observation.

Basically, I agree to levy the rich tax. For one thing, the problem of poverty gap is getting worse. Government should take action to make a complete and perfect plan for it. For another thing, the rich take more resources to make a fortune from the society so they should contribute part of their wealth to the society. Although many millionaires, such as Warren Buffeett, stand out to promote that wealthy people should be taxed more, selfishness makes it hard to come true. This vision could be built only whole people achieve the consensus.
you have various grammar mistakes that make your point unclear, and very chunky flow of sentences.

Hope this helps!
admission2012 - / 475  
Oct 24, 2011   #3
Hello,

I tried to find this application essay but could not. What school is this for? There are several major problems with this essay, but I need to see the actual prompt before I can give you a mini critique.-admissions essay advice
admission2012 - / 475  
Oct 24, 2011   #4
Hello,

Makes perfect sense now. The actual question asks that you talk about a solution that you would propose. You do not really talk about any real solution. Also you are asked to provide support for your assertions. Since this is an accounting program, you should back up your essay with numbers. As you have stated, many countries utilize a luxury tax. Select one or two countries and talk about the revenues generated by the tax. Did they meet the projected revenues? If not, why did the tax not work as designed. How can you implement a better tax system and what evidence do you have that your version is better and will work. Also, since you are applying to a program in the US, you should make all monetary quotes both in the local currency(NT for Taiwan) and United States Dollars. -admissions essay advice


Home / Graduate / Talk abt your government's policy and propose your viewpoint -UW application essay
Need Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳