Traveling to a new places, studying new things and learning more about different culture and psyche

Name: man g
Personal statement: For application of MSc. Oil and gas Engineering (Taught)
Date: 29th October 2014
My aptitude of study is to go as far as i can in the engineering subject of my passion and so far to become a really professional. Since i was young, my dream was one day to become a professional Engineer ,I grew up with this idea in my head till I finished high school after then I got opportunity to study Environmental engineer at Ardhi university. During my undergraduate studies i was very determined and focused on my studies till I graduated.

One day when I was on my private studying, reading Soil mechanics at Ardhi University, the term Oil and Gas exploration pop up on my mind and hastily I became interested. After completing my degree I become interested much more with oil and gas Engineering not only because of the greatest job opportunities available at that time but also engineering passion which I had before. I have been always interested in nature and I wanted to study something close related to that, In addition I like to design and to do research studied.

I am particularly keen to study at the school of engineering at university of Aberdeen because of the research interest in oil and gas and reputation of excellence in these fields. The international reputation of the school attract such a variety of students and I believe it will be stimulating environment in which to study in master level. The university also provides excellent recreational and studding facilities for the graduate students which demonstrate the commitment to the graduate student body.

My plan is to study master in Oil and Gas Engineering and to enhance and apply my knowledge in a professionally challenging environment so as to gain experience and contribute to my country. Following the master course I would like to pursue my interest in research in the area of exploration and reservoirs either through doing PhD or possibly researching with the government department or other public sector body.

Concerning experience, I do not have experience on oil and gas engineering.
My period to study abroad will be guided by the duration of course undertaken which is not more than two years and after finishing I will be happily return to my home country.

It is one of my interests to travel to the new places, studying new things and learn more about different culture and psyche.
Thank you for your consideration.

Man, there are a number of problems with your essay. Even before we can address the grammar problems, we are faced with the fact that your essay is suffering from an identity crisis in terms of the format of the paper. Is it a curriculum vitae or bio data? Is it a letter to a higher authority? Or is it an essay directed towards stating your statement of purpose for Msc application? You need to take the time to sort out your thoughts and decide how you really want to write this paper and then revise it into the proper format.

Then you need to consider certain aspects of the essay that include, the purpose of your advanced studies in oil and and gas engineering. Considering that you already said you do not have any background in the field, the first question an admissions officer will ask himself is, then why is applying for this course? Since a masters degree is often studied in relation to your current career and career advancement plans, it would seem that there is no reason for you to be enrolled in this course. You need to convince the admissions officer that it is imperative for you to complete this masters course even though you do not have a background in it for a specific purpose. Without that convincing reason, your application may not be as effective as you think it might be.

There are many reasons that a person will apply for a masters degree in a specific subject. However, it is not common for someone without a specific career path in that particular field to apply for masters studies. Therefore, you need to prove the reasons why you should be admitted for such studies by presenting a convincing statement of purpose. Right now, there is nothing in your paper that will convince an admissions officer to consider you for admission ot Msc school.

Thank you for review my post.. Can you help me with the possible convincing reasons, or what can I do
how should I put, should I remove that paragraph of background in the fields?
I have keen desire of studying this course because the department of oil and gas is new and growing fast, there will be a greater demand of oil and gas engineers soon, and I've been looking for permanent job for more than 3 years by now without success, I think this is the right way for me.

Man, I believe that the only way to turn this around in order to make it a convincing essay is to somehow find a connection between your degree in soil engineering and your current interest in oil and gas engineering. I feel that this should be an application that approaches the prompt from a natural resources and environmental preservation standpoint. That way you can somehow connect the study of soil engineering with the lessons from oil and gas engineering. Your direction will be trying to find a way to balance the two separate fields into one unit, thus creating a new and environmentally responsible method of oil extraction in the future. That kind of mindset and vision will require higher studies that combine the two fields. Can you write something along those lines? It just might work. I will work with you on it.