'to understand the fundamentals of the subject' - Psychology Application for Masters (Supplemental)

1. How has your interest in the particular program for which you are applying developed?

I pursued a degree in Psychology which led me to understand the fundamentals of the subject. The courses I took helped gain knowledge on Mental Illness, brain functions, mental processes and how it affects people's disposition. However, it did not provide me the training to apply the theory in the practical life. As much as I aspire to learn more about the theories, I also want to devote my time in receiving the training which will allow me to help people suffering from the vicious illness.

Through my experiences of interning as a peer educator in mental health and awareness, I have encountered peers of my age who have attempted to take their own life. Everyone had a story and I could not fathom their desperation. I sympathized, but knew I had to do something to help. While I was there as a support system, I could not provide my peers with the proper therapy that they were in the need of. While my love of working with people brought me into this field, seeing the differences it can make in people's lives is what has driven me towards Mental Health Counseling.

Furthermore, The Mental Health Counseling Program at ... University offers an exceptional education and training in the field. Some of the clinical faculties, specifically their areas of interest, make this program the most appealing to me. My interest in gaining further education in Mental Health Counseling did not develop in one day or through one experience, but grew in time with varieties of experiences. The experiences have made me realize the value of compassion and motivated me in pursuing my career as a Mental Health Counselor.

Hi. Alas, English is not my first language, so I will try to comment from the position of pure logic. Composition of the essay is quite good, but the essay by itself is too vague, especially the last paragraph. It will be very hard for the admission officer to distinguish your essay from the other ones. Try to make it more lively and personal, add story about your experience of interning as a peer educator in mental health, show HOW stories of some particular people who needed your help influenced your decision to become a Mental Health Counselor.

h#t#t#p://mi#tad#missio#ns.or#g/blogs/e#ntry/how-to-w#rite-a-college-e#ssay is a very useful link. {just remove #}

Sorry if it was too harsh. I think your theme is good, but the essay needs certain editing.

It was very helpful. Not harsh at all. Thank you :)

However, it did not provide me with the training to apply the theory in the practical life. As much as I aspire to learn more about the theories, I also want to devote my time in receiving the training which will allow me to help relieve the pain of people suffering from the vicious illnessvicious mental sicknesses.


... I do not understand the latter part of this sentence :( ... I like if you rephrased that part to enhance clarity of your idea.