The University of Southampton became my choice. My First Attempt in Writing Personal Statement

YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT SHOULD INDICATE WHY YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE UNIVERSITY, YOUR PERSONAL QUALITIES AND HOW THE COURSE WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR FUTURE CAREER

Study at the University of Southampton

I am applying to study MSc Analytical Chemistry at the University of Southampton. I have developed a great passion for chemistry while I was in high school, and I was really fascinated when I took my first course in analytical chemistry in during my undergraduate studies. This made me develop a likeness for analytical chemistry and I decided to specialise in this field for my postgraduate studies and research.

The University of Southampton became my choice institution without any doubt, due to the outline of the course which I read on the institution's postgraduate admission portal. I am confident that studying at Southampton will accord me the opportunity to become a professional analytical chemist who will be able to function effectively in any organisation afterwards. I am very much motivated with the availability of various equipment such as Nuclear Magnetic Resonance (NMR), Spectrophotometers, etc which will aid the practical sessions during the study. This will be a supplement for me as I did not have much exposure to many of these instruments during my undergraduate study due to the unavailability of the instruments at my university.

I love to learn new things day by day and participating in practical activities gives me clearer and better understanding of concepts in chemistry. I learn better by doing and I am convinced that studying at Southampton will channel me into becoming an expert in the field, with the array of different learning methods ranging from lectures to laboratory experiments and field work.

Studying at the University of Southampton will prepare me for further studies in research as I hope to pursue a PhD towards achieving my dream of becoming a Professor of Chemistry in the nearest future. Also, the knowledge I gain from Southampton will prepare me to function effectively in the pharmaceutical industry as well as the food industry.

I will be glad if I am offered a place at Southampton, and I will do my best to graduate with excellent grades and make the University proud.

Hey there, @kayus! Nice to meet you!
it's a very thorough explanation of your dream.
so I have some ideas you might consider using to improve your essay.

on grammatical range and accuracy, I found minor errors such as:

in during => these two are preposition so you only need to choose one.

my choice institution => it's either my chosen institution or just my choice because you already mention the university name.

the array of = this expression is preceded by 'an' so it becomes an array of

hope this could help
thanks
-W-

Thank you very much @Rinnegan45. I will take note of your corrections.

Kayode, the personal statement needs to show a better reason for your choice of university than just becoming interested because of what you read online about it. There needs to be a sense of familiarity with the educational process of the university and your own interests. For example, what subjects in particular do you feel you will excel in and why? Which of their training programs are best aligned with your needs as a student and professional? What other advanced courses do you look forward to studying? How will those advanced courses help with your future career? The personal statement needs to show the development of your interest in this MS course from the professional perspective instead of the high school point of view. You are a professional now with work related interests and ambitions, make sure those are reflected in your personal statement. Without it, your essay sounds like a draft copy for a college admissions essay.