PERSONAL STATEMENT
I must say that getting a masters degree in Public health was not the first thing on my mind or rather I don`t think I even thought about it till sometime in 2009.I think it was around November. As a student, I started out with the hopes and dreams of studying medicine. First it was about the prestige that came with being called a doctor and because my parents wanted me to. So I started taking classes towards that goal. I enrolled in a university in my country to study medicine but towards the end of the year, it became a struggle, too much reading, and not enough satisfaction.
You see, I wanted the end product of being a doctor which for me meant being able to save lives, give with someone the ability to spend more time with their loved ones. So I left at the end of the year, without a degree. Then I applied for a school in Kumasi, Ghana for medicine but I was told they had filled their quota for the year so I was given other options, specifically 3 options because of my background and these were Petroleum Engineering, Chemical Engineering and Biological Sciences. I chose the Biological Science option partly because of pressure. I am the first of 5 children and from there comes the high expectations and the personal pressure I put on myself to be more than just a female which connotes a wife mostly and in some cases only that where I come from.
I spent four years in the university trying hard to make sense of the course I had chosen but I failed. You see, I was partly frustrated I didn`t get a chance to study medicine but I felt too proud and a bit annoyed that I was repeating freshman year all over again, so I was not serious with my studies. During the vacation I did my internship with a doctor in my hometown, since I was convinced I was going to do medicine and become a doctor. I walked around with the doctor, followed him for ward rounds, and looked in on surgical procedures. My second year vacation internship was at a microbiology laboratory which made me realize that even if I wasn`t sure what I wanted for my life, it was never going to be medical laboratory science. The next year, I travelled to America for my summer vacation and during that time I took the MCAT examinations and while I waited for the results, my hopes got raised again but 2 months later I found out that I failed woefully. So I sulked for a long while, was depressed and just lived. I did whatever felt right and had a lot of fun doing it. I got involved with a Christian fellowship and devoted my energies towards all they had to offer, partly because of my beliefs and also because I felt I was achieving my goal which was being the link between problem and solution. When my results came out, I had no one to blame but myself. The thing is that every experience in my life was entangled with my emotions and sometimes it was good but other times it just about messed everything up.
In my second year of school I tried hard to understand the course but it felt like a struggle yet again, this time, I had a different reason. The course at that time was about plants and animals that weren`t humans. I think my 3rd year was probably the best because I felt like I achieved something. I understood what I was being thought and it applied to me, the courses were practical, I was taking courses such as microbiology, human anatomy and physiology, it sure did strike a chord. . It still felt abstract to me but I guess I managed to crawl my way up to graduation. After that I spent about six months deciding what I wanted to do with my life. I went through all the courses my mind could dream up, interior architecture, designing, and public health. At first, I never thought much of the course but as I got to read the course I knew it was what I had been wanting unknowingly. Things don`t come easy to me but when they eventually do it lights up a whole room. Then I decided I was going to apply for a degree in public health and the whole world opened up to me. I know my idea of it is miniscule and almost not everything its about but I want to know the technicalities about it and so far reading about it makes me want to study it and apply it and be a professional at it. I applied for schools in the United States which was the 2nd thing on my mind. I really wanted to go to Australia, You see, I love exploration, going to new places, meeting new people, I always wanted to get different accents, be versatile. I realized I wouldn`t get into school that year which was 2010 so I decided to register for the NYSC scheme in my country. Its supposed to be a time where the youths serve the country in whatever capacity the country deems fit. I was posted to Abuja for my service year and after the military drill in a camp for three weeks we were sent to different organizations to serve with little or no pay. I was opportune to be sent to a non-governmental organization known as IHVN (Institute for Human Virology) but they had no vacancies for me. So I was sent yet to another health NGO, APIN (Aids Prevention in Nigeria) but was still rejected and then I was posted to the National Hospital where I served as a medical records clerk.
In all of this, one thing stuck with me, Public Health and I had decided I was going to do it even if I had to do it in Congo or Madagascar. About 4 or 5 months into my service year I came across a notice about a French school and I knew I always wanted to get accents and I didn`t have anything occupying my time except work which was from 8am to 4pm so I decided to enroll for French classes. Like I said earlier things don`t come easy for me but when they do, it's like a bold writing in front of my eyes. I started learning French and the whole process was exhilarating and mind-blowing for lack of a better English word. I was so eager to have all of it inside me. Then it occurred to me, why don`t I find a school in France. Then my search began and after much searching I found this school. For me studying at this university is not just a chance to do public health but a chance at life as I dream of it. I know I have a lot to offer my fellow course mates and the world at large. I am full of energy and a team player most of the time. I want to study public health in France because I know it gives me an edge over my peers and my deep love for travelling is part of my reason so indeed I have my profits for doing this course in France: a new culture to experience, an experience of a life time.
Please help me edit and cut out what is not necessary in this personal statement
I'm going to take out as many words as I can so that this becomes dense and powerful:
I must say that getting a masters degree in Public health was not the first thing on my mind prior to 2009. I think it was around November. As a student, I started out with the hopes and dreams of studying medicine; it was about the prestige that came with being a doctor and because my parents wanted me to.
So I started taking classes towards that goal. I enrolled in a university...
You see, I wanted the end product of being ...
I am the first of 5 children and from there comes come the high expectations and...
The course at that time was about plants and animals that weren`t humans.
...was the 2nd second thing on my mind.
I really wanted to go to Australia, You see, I love exploration, going to new places, meeting new people, I always wanted to get different accents, be versatile. I realized I wouldn`t get into school that year which was 2010 so I decided to register for the NYSC scheme in my country. Let's not include all the details. Focus on what you want the reader to remember.
Then it occurred to me, why don`t I find a school in France. ---Do not take them through your whole thought process.
Less is more. As you revise, take out as much as possible while keeping only what you want the reader to remember. The reader will remember only one idea about you. What do you want that idea to be?
You have a very engaging style!
