I am 27 years old male from Uzbekistan - introduction essay for graduating admission

Please, check my self introduction essay. It was asked by graduating admission.

Self Introduction :

I am Muhammadyunus Zokhidov , 27 years old male from Uzbekistan. I was born in the city named Asaka, which is famous for it's Auto Industry thanks to GM Uzbekistan. I grew up dreaming of working at this big vehicle manufacturing company and that dream led me to Tashkent automobile and road construction Institute where I earned my bachelor degree in the field of Vehicle service management. I graduated the Institute in 2011 and in this year my dream come true as I got ticket to work at GM Uzbekistan. I started my career as an Engineering Change Coordinator at Supply Chain division of GM Uzbekistan. I worked in this position for 3 years and during this period I gained priceless experience and knowledge. In 2014, I joined new projects team where I worked on several projects implementation as a supply chain integration manager. Starting serial production of T250 model was one of the biggest and unforgettable projects I have worked on as I had business trip to GM Korea for a workshop.

October of 2016 was a special month in my career as I was appointed as a team Manager (my current position) to my previous team (Engineering Change Coordination). I have been trying to develop our processes with the help of building Web applications. In this year I had a 2 monthly training in India on programming and in August I implemented Web based application that tracks and controls Engineering Change Orders.

Merged:

Self Introduction essay for a graduate school

Guys, please check grammar and rate:
I am Muhammadyunus Zokhidov, 27 years old. I was born in the Asaka city. My hometown located in beautiful Fergana valley in the east of Uzbekistan. I am married and I have a 4-year-old daughter. Asaka is famous for its Auto Industry thanks to GM Uzbekistan. I grew up dreaming of working at this big vehicle manufacturing company. This dream led me to Tashkent automobile and road construction Institute where I earned my bachelor degree in the field of Vehicle service management. I graduated the Institute in 2011. The same year my dream came true as I got ticket to work at GM Uzbekistan. I started my career as an Engineering Change Coordinator at Supply Chain division of GM Uzbekistan. I worked in this position for 3 years. During this period, I gained priceless experience and knowledge in the field of Change Management. In 2014, I joined new projects team where I worked on several project implementations as a supply chain integration manager. Launch of new product called Nexia R3 was one of the biggest and unforgettable programs I have participated. This program enabled me to have hands on training in GM Korea company where I learned business process improvements, project management etc. October of 2016 was a special moment in my career as I was appointed as a Manager for Engineering Change Coordination team. In my new position, I have been trying to develop our processes with the help of building Web applications. This year I had a 2-month training in India on programming and in August I implemented Web based application that tracks and controls Engineering Change Orders. This was my first educational experience abroad. Now I would like to proceed in this direction by pursuing master's level degree. I believe I have strong work experience in Project Management, Change Management and Material Management and I want to shift my career to the next level. By applying to Master's program in International Trade and Commerce at the Kangwon University I am planning to gain valuable educational background which enables me to support the development of Uzbek Auto industry.

Hi Zok, I hope you still can see this message. As I what I see here is that you should use more linking devices to join your statements from time to time. With that said, I believe you should divide all of your sentences to at least 3 paragraphs just to let the reader easy to analyse your introduction.

Hope that helps.