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"a young, aspiring accounting student" - essay for Masters in Finance program



illoho1 1 / -  
Apr 26, 2011   #1
I am applying to Johns Hopkins and George Washington University. Applicants are encouraged to write a complete essay including information regarding the following:

1. What are my learning needs? What are the skills and competencies I want to develop?
2. What are my career goals? What does that look like short-term and long-term?
3. What outcomes am I expecting as a result of my graduate experience? What do I want this graduate program to enable me to do?
4. How will this graduate program enable me to meet the needs and goals I've identified?
This is what I have so far...suggestions??

As a young, aspiring accounting student, I am interested in studying at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business school because I believe that an MSc in Finance will help me to attain my goal of making a significant contribution to the financial sector in my country. Finance as a field has always fascinated me and I would count it a great privilege to study in the Carey Business School because its reputation of academic rigor and professional success assures me that I will receive the highest quality education possible, delivered by highly respected professors in the field. My undergraduate major is accounting and I would like to broaden my knowledge in business. I have been a beneficiary of the financial policies by various governments over past decades especially the US and believe it can empower many others who still don't have proper access to the financial tools. I want to work in tandem with governments and private sector partners to explore opportunities of growth bringing better financial parity in the country. With this motive, in the long term I aspire to leverage my consulting experience to start my own boutique consulting firm. I believe there is an immense potential yet to be tapped in the Nigerian financial markets. In the short-term, I see myself as a strategy consultant for a management consulting firm, primarily specializing in the financial services and retail-banking sectors. I want to learn the best financial practices around the globe and further hone my problem solving skills. I believe my educational background has equipped me with the adequate knowledge needed to pursue finance as a graduate major. Studying finance would definitely help me further develop my ability to analyze problems from a business perspective bearing in mind the limitations of the real world. I also feel the program will provide the right balance between theory and practice.

To achieve my career goals, I need to learn a lot more about current developments and techniques in finance. I also need to be aware financial markets and financial applications and acquire hands-on experience of financial analysis. A Master's Degree in finance will provide me with theoretical understanding, an in depth idea of practical approaches in aiding managerial decision-making and research skills to enable me to develop an expertise in the core areas of financial strategies and global corporate financial operations. I would like to probe specific problem areas such as the application of quantitative analysis to understanding various issues in global finance and improving decision-making. Various school projects in the course of my undergraduate education have helped me to develop sharp analytical abilities and have given me the confidence to tackle advanced problems on a macro level. My school job, which involves calling parents and alumni, has also improved my interpersonal and communication skills. I look forward to applying and further enhancing these skills at the Carey Business School. I expect the Carey Master of Science program to provide a substantial foundation in finance, econometrics and international business for me as I seek to build a career in the finance profession. I expect that a seasoned, highly accessible faculty with current private- and public-sector experience would provide intensive treatment of quantitative and qualitative methods, particularly in the analysis of financial institutions, corporate finance and accounting, and fixed income and derivative products. I hope my strong grasp of fundamentals in Finance, a penchant for teamwork and leadership and a thirst for challenges in addition to my background and qualifications are suitable enough for my admission into the MS in Finance program at the Carey Business School.


EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 28, 2011   #2
As a young, aspiring accounting student, I am interested in studying at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business school because I believe that an MSc in Finance will help me to attain my goal of making a significant contribution to the financial sector in my country.

The goal is indistinct. Do you know what I mean? It is not crisp, not clear. If you said something very specific about what you want to accomplish in the financial sector, that would be better. Do not just say, "make a significant contribution."

Right here you have a little grammar error:
...because its reputation for academic rigor...
... and professional success assure me that...

In the short-term, I see myself as a strategy consultant for a management consulting firm, primarily specializing in the financial services and retail-banking sectors. I want to learn the best financial practices around the globe and further hone my problem solving skills. ---Great specificity here!

I believe my educational background has equipped me with the adequate knowledge needed to pursue finance as a graduate major. Too obvious.

Studying finance would definitely help me further develop my ability to analyze problems from a business perspective bearing in mind the limitations of the real world. Too obvious, say something about your unique vision.

I also feel the program will provide the right balance between theory and practice, because _______________________- (give an explanation for this belief in order to make it meaningful.

Here is another great sentence:
I expect that a seasoned, highly accessible faculty with current private- and public-sector experience would provide intensive treatment of quantitative and qualitative methods, particularly in the analysis of financial institutions, corporate finance and accounting, and fixed income and derivative products.---I like it!


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