"love and passion for learning" - Wait-list letter...

Winston Churchill once said, "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty". XXX is my dream school and although I am a little disappointed to have been placed on the waiting list, my passion and longing to attend your school remains the same and is still my top choice. I feel privileged that I am a good fit to your school and wish to be kept on your school's waiting list as a possible transfer candidate for the Fall. I believe that XXX will give me the opportunity to learn how to adequately put my skills to use and will teach me how to effectively shape my thoughts.

In the last two years that I have been working, I have grown to become a young woman who seeks a positive learning experience in everything I come across. When I first began my job I reminded myself of something I once heard, "Always attempt to be smarter than the people you work with", and this has stayed with me ever since. Although I do not know what the future holds, I have put my heart and soul into being a necessary asset to the company I currently work for. I feel honored to say that I have grown incredibly both as a person and as an employee, and have surpassed challenges well beyond my co-workers imagination and have proved myself to be of great necessity. I try to continually to challenge myself by taking on new tasks. Currently I have begun learning the basics of accounting, such as keeping track of aged receivables and payables, and communicating with clients on issues regarding their monthly orders. I have also learned the basics of opening local markets, and preparing monthly accruals. These new learning experiences have brought along new knowledge and have also uncovered a hidden and unknown passion for Economics. Since this discovery I have decided to double major in Psychology and Economics.

Having finished my Associates Degree at ZZZ, I feel more than ready to expose myself to new challenges at XXX and be on the way to becoming a prominent leader of today's nation. During the summer I will be working closely with one of my co-workers on planning the upcoming Travel Retail Seminar. As I have once before helped her, this year we have set ourselves the goal to prevail and outdo last year's Seminar. I feel this time around my experience and maturity will help in bringing about new innovative ideas that will aid in making this seminar one of the best. Working on planning the Seminar will involve being imaginative and inventive. Bringing about new ideas for the smallest details, such as the theme of the invitations to creating powerful and inspiring presentations that will keep our company at the top of the list. This experience will provide me with new knowledge and will also give me the opportunity to show what my imagination and creativity is capable of.

I cannot imagine myself at another college but ZZZ. For this reason, I would like to continue on the current waiting list and will also like to be considered to transfer in Spring 2011. I would like to participate in a class discussion with women who have a love and passion for learning and seek to be the future leaders of our world.

my passion and longing to attend your school remains the same and XXX is still my top choice.

In the last two years that I have been working, I have grown to become a young woman who seeks a positive learning experience in everything I came across.

I would like to participate in a class discussion with women who have a love and passion for learning and seek to be the future leaders of our world.

... my passion and longing to attend your school remains remain the same, and it is still my top choice.

I feel privileged that I am a good fit to your school and wish to be kept on your school's waiting list as a possible transfer candidate for the Fall. --- good sentence!!!

I believe that XXX will give me the opportunity to learn how to adequately put my skills to use and will teach me how to effectively shape my thoughts.

(end that intro paragraph by giving a thesis sentence that provides a theme for the essay and relates to the quote about optimism.)

I cannot imagine myself at another any college other than ZZZ. For this reason, I would like to continue on...

Nice ending!!

Some small suggestions for you to consider if they work as improvements: (IMHO):



Joined your second phrase to the first full sentence. Please recheck but I think you are missing a few commas in this paragraph!!