But what would you call a mini library filled with African journals.
A question mark needed in place of the period at the end of the sentence.
They have, to a large degree, been the sculptor of my daily activities.
These is an awkward sentence. The word "sculptor" doesn't seem to fit here. The sentence also violates number agreement.
They is plural, while
sculptor is singular.
They have been the engineering hands enlarging my scope
I am not sure if you properly expressed your thought through this metaphor. The word scope is difficult to decipher without the context. I think you should add one more sentence clarifying the metaphor, if you want to keep this sentence.
In fact, my advise would be to keep the number of metaphors to a minimum in an admissions essay.
When I am reading a sad story full of sweat, trouble and betrayal I scratch my head in response as though I
wasam the one involved
; however
, it reveals a miniature reflection of the future and how carefully I should tread to avoid troubles and mistakes. ----- note the usage of semi-colon
I can see that you have real skill in writing. This is evident from your metaphors. However, like I said, do keep them in check in an admissions essay. You don't want to confuse the admissions officer, do you? That being said, keep in mind that I am not as good a reader as the admissions officers will be; so, my opinion may not be correct.