Nasir, there are a number of grammatical problems with your essay. However, that is not my main concern at the moment. For now, we should work on developing the content of your essay because, although you present good ideas, you lack information in your presentation that would have helped make this paper seem more academic and authoritative. So we should apply corrections to the body of the essay before we fix any other problems. I have noted my comments for you in green text. I hope my suggestions help you out :-)
Deciding on whether chemical fertilizers are constructive or not is very tough issue. While there are a great many people agree to use of them, a considerable number of people are against. This essay will examine two both sides of this issue in more depth.
- You could further improve this statement by including some simple exams that support the side that agrees and disagrees to use fertilizers. The reason you need to do this is because you introduction is too short and does give a thorough idea of the thesis statement for this essayand then presentingyour own point of view as a thesis statement at the end.Taking the advantages into account, nowadays, we are encountered to the significant growing of the population. However, to provide grains and cereals adequate to them, there is no way to increase amount of our agricultural harvests. Hence, the most important factor to achieving our goal is to using chemical fertilizer. As a result, the more we use chemical substances, the more we can harvest our plants.
- This idea is not thoroughly developed and is confusing to read. You have actually presented2 issues that will support the use of fertilizers, the need to increase the amount of the harvest due to (2nd reason) an ever increasing population. So you have to discuss how using chemical fertilizers benefit people in these terms. Discuss things such as vitamin enhanced rice harvests, larger potato sizes (that can feed 2-3 persons instead of 1), and other similar harvest to population issues.In terms of disadvantages, firstly, there is no doubt that many kind of fertilizers and also pesticides are so fatal to the human. In other words, we know that washing all effects of these substances from vegetables is impossible. Also a large number of them annihilate the nutritious elements of the food such as grains and cereal. Consequently, overusing of them will cause many disparate diseases in a human.
- Please develop this discussion from a health stand point. Do some research into the dangers of chemicals in fertilizers that, over long term ingestion, causes negative health issues for the people who consume them. Look into the methods by which the fertilizers contaminate the food and report on what the health discovered were. Just one or two examples will suffice.Secondly, over consuming of these materials will ruin our natural environment and resources and will assist to destroy the soil. Undoubtedly, I'm not alone on this opinion that the soil is source of many natural substances and beside them is a habitation for diverse species of animals and insects. Therefore, if we practice over range of these fertilizers, we will enlarge the deserts and unfortunately destroying many animals habitations.
- Further improvement on this claim can be done by offering facts and figures relating to soil poisoning or habitat destruction of certain animals due to certain chemicals in fertilizers. Google search can help you with this.To sum up, the cons of using fertilizers in modern farming seem to overweigh the pros. Undoubtedly, I disagree to apply too much of these materials and I believe that we have to discover new method of fertilizing. I hope in the future we can reach to this success
- Don't present additional ideas in your conclusion. Your idea for new methods of fertilizing should be developed as a separate paragraph. Your conclusion should only summarize the thesis and facts so that you can deliver a closing statement.