Hello sep, well writing n_n and I must study to your style how to simplify the essay into a small number of words (not like me that always more 300 even 500 words T_T ) . Just a little suggestion for you
Furthermore, the growing number reveals over the period reveals that these factors ...
In my opinion, albeit word "reveal" has B2 and C2 class in Cambridge, but you cannot place it in one sequence like that, because it kind of REPETITION. You can change to the other word such as illustrates / displays / shows / depicts or the other to avoid repetition.
Well, Good writing, and I hope can follow your simple style n_n