Undergraduate / Essay for U-Chicago - it's a little childish.. [32]

It's my first draft and it may a little childish. I don't know if my essay really fits for its requirements or not. I hope that I can receive suggestions or grammar corrections on my essay! Thank you so much!

(I am a student from china so my english is not that good.I hope if anyone can help me with the essay)

PROMPT:
Essay Option 2. The late-eighteenth-century popular philosopher and cultural critic George Lichtenberg wrote, "Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc. . . . at times before they're worn out and at times - and this is worst of all - before we have new ones." Write an essay about something you have outgrown, perhaps before you had a replacement - a friend, a political philosophy, a favorite author, or anything that has had an influence on you. What, if anything, has taken its place?

My eassy:

Shi Ku Men

I can still vividly remember, near my old house, the spring flowers burgeoning in the corner of red tiles, the grass seeds germinating in the chink of cyan bricks, and the white pigeons hovering around the mottled wall. The old "Shi Ku Men" is where I come from, is how I initiate to recognize this world, and is what lies embedded in my memory.

Shi Ku Men --- is a unique word belongs to shanghai. Literally it means "the stone gate". It is a type of architecture emerged in 1860s in shanghai, which blended the features of both east and west, originally to meet the needs of refugees abroad. As time goes by, Shi Ku Men had gradually become a local private residence with about ten families living in the same building.

I had been staying in the old Shi Ku Men since I was born, although I got along well with every neighbors, I still looked forward to moving into those kempt, capacious and modern apartments. The residents there don't have to fight for the public rest room during the rush morning time, don't have to stepped cautiously on the timeworn cracking staircase, and don't have to worry about bothering others when their children played the piano in the late night.

Seven years later, due to the governmental moving, batched of old Shi Ku men were torn down on a large scale whereas new modern buildings were set up at an internet speed. I fulfilled my wishes to moving into the new apartment with independent wash room, efficient elevator and sound-proof room.

I started to love new and fancy things like new apartment, exotic food and modern costume. Every time I saw new things, the sense of superiority naturally aroused up in my adrenalin. At that time, I firmly believed everything new thing stands for faster, efficient and a better life. Questing for "new" turned to be my principal of life. I felt proud of my city turning into a modern one similar to New York and Paris.

The other day, however, when I looked up, what came into my view were the duplicate, matchbox-liked modern apartments. I found myself was placed in the midst of steel and concrete with the sense of heaviness and oppression invading my whole body. The city is developing at a high speed while the people are becoming apathetic towards each other. I am eager to talking to my new neighbors but I don't even know their names. I know something has been lost.

I started to miss the old days I spent in the Shi Ku Men. Not only the architecture but also the sense of sharing in the old cramped house is what I value most. The smell of bean curd pervaded the whole alley in front of Shi Ku Men at dusk, the chatter among the neighbors in bamboo chairs during the night of old summer days, and the game like "eagle catches chicks" and hopscotch with kids in the neighborhood after school occupied my memory of past.

I didn't realize the uniqueness of shanghai culture turns out to be not the modern skyscrapers, is not the interlaced network of city transportation, but is the forgotten "Shi Ku Men", until I saw the old mottled wall marked with the ruthless white painted words "knocking down". The "Shi Ku Men" is rooted in our city culture. It is like an old man who witnesses the vicissitudes of our city, who accompanies the development of this town, who tells the story of past to one generation and another. I understand I should not blindly pursue "new".

Fortunately, Shanghai seems to have the same "contrition" as I did that it slows down its speed of "modernization" as well as rescuing, renovating and revamping those survived Shi Ku Men. My city comes to realize that not everything new is suitable for itself, not everything of past should be spurned. For instance, part of the old "Tian Zi Fang" has been turned into the creative settlement for new artists while retaining part of it to be private residence. The revamped "Xin Tian Di" which gathered international gallery, boutique and café bar has become the most popular site for tourists home and abroad. The old Shi Ku Men is dazzled with new energy.

There is an old Chinese saying "discard the dross and select the essence". "New", doesn't mean the thorough rupture with the past. Our memory is precious because of "old" and our city culture is profound because of "old." Shanghai can be developed as modern as others, but the city culture is rooted in its atmosphere and can never be copied from others. Sometimes, it is necessary for us to look back those old stories and life. I really appreciate the fragrant memories of Shi Ku Men, the sense of sincere sharing with neighbors, and the harmonic relationship with nature.

Time makes me understand "new" is a good thing but "suitable" is more important. Nowadays as I live in the new apartment, when I cherish the memory of pigeons hovering above the mottled wall, I also enjoy the gleaming glow of sunset reflecting on the windows of opposite apartment. Trying hard to reestablish the intimate relationship among neighbors, I hope the old traditions in Shi Ku Men can be continued in the new apartments.

Writing Feedback / Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth? [10]

The most important element in human relationships, whether business or personal, is trust. If you break that trust, the relationship will undoubtedly be damaged. A breach of trust can quickly grow as you tell lie after lie altough you pay great effort to conceal your original deceit. What may happen is that you may be unable to distinguish the truth.

However, telling lies can be justified in some special situations and may even cause dramatic effect to our life. The last leaf, a literary example by the prestigious author O.Henry, can completely distill the essence of "telling lies." In a little district of Washington where was full of dilapidated buildings with moldy smell, Johnsy, the main character, had been seriously infected with the pneumonia and sentenced to have only one month's life. "Twelve, eleven...,two" she lay faintly on the bed and counted the numbers of the leaves remaining on the ivy vine desperately every day. Johnsy insisted that her fate would be like the fallen leaves. As the last leaf fell, she would also leave the world forever. Seeing her best friend had almost lost the faith of life, Sue decided to tell a white lie to cheer her friend up. To Johnsy's surprise, the last leaf that was destined to fall off the tree still hung bravely with its serrated edges tinted with the yellow dissolution and decay despite the beating rain and fierce gusts of wind that had endured through the livelong night. We can know from the book that the last leaf was actually fake because it was painted by Old Berham and was glued to the branch. This was a lie created by Susan and Old Berham. However, it is this lie that made Johnsy retrieve the hope of life, that saved her from the life-threatening disease, that gave her the chance to fulfill her own dream, that changed her entire life in the future.

Telling sometimes can enable people to avoid the grieving experience of recovering, especially for old people who are vulnerable to shock and woe. One of my best friends had experienced the lost of his loving father several years ago, and his family has been trying to hide the secret from their grandparents as it was the will of his father. All of them didn't want grandparents to be immersed in the grief of losing the deeply loved son because they knew clearly how tough it was to go through the process of recovering. Perhaps it is better for the grandparents to have the sense that their son was still working hustling and bustling in a distant country. Concealing lie is like an arduous way to go, a burden on one's one own, but when my best friend saw the smile on their face after "talking" with his father, he totally felt released and worthy to tell the lie. Telling lie isn't immoral under this situation. It gives people infinite hope rather than endless sadness. It offers people strength to live rather than wound to recover.

Writing Feedback / Do images and impressions have too much of an effect on people? [5]

An English adage states that "Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, but sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent." It is a well worn cliché in our era in which everything truly insightful has already been said. Our ancestors who coined this adage were sending a clear and powerful message to their descendants: Impression and images are not the main factors that determine what kind of people we are. Nor does it judge our behavior. Indeed, it is our actions that reflect our inner thought and decide which category of people we belong to. It is our true horizon that proves our values in this world.

Impression can merely offer people a vague contour of a person we recently met, but it does not always remain unchangeable as long as we delve into the deep side of a person's character and his achievement. The prestigious theoretical British physicist who is renowned for his contribution to the fields of cosmology and quantum gravity, Stephen William Hawking, unfortunately suffered from the amyotrophic lateral sclerosis which forced him to maintain his life with the help of technical devices. The first time I saw his "shocking" image in my science textbook, I was totally paralyzed. Lying on side of his wheel chair with a stiff smile on his face all the time, he could only write on a computer with small movements of his body and then speak what he has written with a voice synthesizer. However, the impression of a frail patient has vanished completely whereas the veneration arose spontaneously after I listened attentively to the speech which was about his dedication to the study of ultimate mystery --- black hole. Despite his misfortune of physical defects, he is the strong man of life. Our recognizance on people or things thing can be transformed totally so far as we understand more. Impression dose barely interferes with our further perception of others.

We can be confused by our impression on others at first, but ultimately it is other people's behavior and action that reveal true levels of their ability and diathesis. My brother used to have a girlfriend who was astonishingly enchanting with a constant fascinating smile. She exceeds other girls with her charming appearance but under her deceptive exterior actually lays a cruel mind. Being egocentric and apathetic, she never has sympathy for poor people and even achieves the sense of achievement by shouting at miserable beggars. What's more, she laughs at those injured animals and even takes pictures of them just for fun. Finally, No one in my family even my uncle can bear such a selfish and brutal person like her and that's why they broke up. Impression is spontaneous image of others formed at the instant that we meet the person, but that impression will never last forever and won't have much effect on our judging. Further communication and deeper understanding are the more effective methods that can enable us to touch the true characteristics of a person.

I am a high school student in china. I know my english is not that good so I hope I can get some tips about how to improve my writing here! Many thanks!