I am sorry but this report will get an automatic failing score because it failed to meet the 150 minimum word count. You must always write at least 150 words to avoid the automatic failing score for short essays in task 1.
The summary overview should have been at least 2 sentences long. You wrote less than 40 words in a single sentence. You cannot write a short summary overview because you will not have provided an accurate short form of your report. You should have reported what the measurement type used was along with the industries that were included in the image.
Reporting paragraphs should have 3 sentences in it that reflect your ability to use various punctuation marks, types of sentences, and an insight into the figures provided. These are all considerations that could have helped you meet the word count and also, increase your scoring consideration overall.
Hi, I would be more than happy to review your research paper. The problem is that you forgot to upload the paper to the system so I have nothing to review at this forum. Kindly upload your paper at the soonest possible time so I can give you a proper review of your document. Prior to that, kindly ensure that you have edited your paper for grammar mistakes and that you have followed the correct research paper format as per your teacher's instructions. Those are the most common problems that the students face when they bring their paper in for a review. I will give you a list of points for improvement once you have uploaded your paper. Thank you.
Do not give the reviewer a lesson in word definition and pronunciation. He will view that as insulting and condescending. Just go directly into your statement Stop repeating the dictionary definition in your response. it is useless. The way that you discuss the value of talent is not enough. It lacks a reference to hard work, discipline, and other actions that help a person develop character, which is the end development of a talent or skill. As a value, consider how you use your talent for the arts in a way that helps others. A value should be something that drives you to help others or help others improve as well. It should be a personal belief for the most part. I believe that you need to develop your discussion in a manner more aligned with a "values" discussion and expectation.
Reviewers prefer when the students do not use exaggerated terms such as "I love". Since this is an academic statement, it must show a professional response that avoids emotional statements. You must provide a response that focuses on the experience that you had at the place, without indicating an emotional connection. Please edit the sentence that starts with "and" as the word is used as a connector in a sentence. Since this is the start of a sentence there is nothing to connect. The reviewers do pay attention to your English grammar and sentence structures as these indicate the kind of student you will be when it comes to writing your papers and research work.
The summary overview lacks clarity. There should be a reference to the number of pie charts that were provided. Even though there are 3 years indicated, the reader could assume that there is only 1 pie chart provided, divided into the 3 years. That is obviously not the case but in a task 1 essay, you need to be precise with your description so as to avoid Task Accuracy deductions.
The GRA score for this essay will also be less than stellar. That is because the sentences are mostly run on sentences which relay on commas for separation, There is no real mix of simple, complex, and compound sentences that use various punctuation marks to help differentiate the types of sentences in each paragraph.
As a masters degree student, your statement of purpose should clearly explain the next phase of your academic plans in relation to your academic career. It should not be a biography that narrates your college studies and experiences. You were on the right track when you presented your college thesis, but fell away from the purpose because you did not manage to align it with your future academic interests at the university you wish to attend. The progression from college to masters in terms of education must highlight continued learning on your part. Even your description of the university later on did not help because it was too generic in discussion. It did not contain any valuable information that would show how you would connect your previous studies with the masters program and the learning experience / immersion opportunity the Erasmus opportunity offers.
Your question is confusing and without direction. The only clear reference is that you want to ask a question about energy. What that question is was either lost in translation or not really clear to you as a writer. The prompt is asking you to develop a theory that is related to STEM. In this case, you have chosen Science since your focus is energy. So, what is it about energy that you want to pursue as a student? You said you want to define energy. Yet, energy has already been defined in several ways by scientists, physicists, mathematicians and enegineers. Do you see yourself discovering a new kind of energy? What sort is it? What is the foundation? How would you prove this theory? That is what your hypothesis should be centered in in the question. If is it universal energy or an energy that you believe exists in only our universe, then elaborate on your hypothesis based upon those considerations.
Are you familiar with the idiom; "There is no I in Team"? Read your reference paragraph. It is full of "I" references. You were a one person team who consulted mentors, rather than working with the team to resolve the problems that the business faced. Going to a mentor is not what a leader does. A leader consults with the team, gets their input, considers it, and then develops a solution to the problem with their assistance. How can you mentor the team leader when he was not consulted about the problem and possible solutions? How could you research the problem, decided on it, and find solutions, without asking the team what they thought caused the downward trend in sales? You appear to be an independent and resourceful person who did not think that the team members were actually important. So your reference to a super team is not believable. The essay needs to be revised yet again.
The minute I read the word "community' in your essay, I knew that you had misunderstood the topic requirement. The spiritual community is a soci group Tha you belong to. It is not related to your profession, which is what the reviewer will be looking for. He will not even finish reading the first paragraph before discarding the application paper due to irrelevance. I keep telling you to always pick just 1 valuable topic to discuss. You keep mudding the narrative and confusing the reviewer by writing of several events in one essay. You need to learn to focus on just one event and build that up in a manner that is not only interesting, but relevant to the prompt. Keeo the discussion within your professional field at all times. Do not try to connect community with profession, that is not the writing instruction.
The professor could take one look at the way this paper was written and decide that it was written by an AI. It does not have proper formatting expected of an APA paper, the in-text citations do not follow the APA standard, the information is in-depth but lacking an emotional and personal connection. The paper, though long and obviously well developed, does not follow the logical presentation of a human written research paper. Therefore, the professor may ask you to rewrite this paper to reflect a more human, rather than AI touch. Prompting the AI to write a deep dive paper is one thing. As the writer, it is your duty to make the assisted paper development more aligned with your personal insights and opinions.
You may gotten over excited by the topic that was provided for this exercise. It is overwritten at 377 words. You have 40 minutes to clearly explain yourself, without using word salad or a vocabulary exercise in the essay. It is important that you stay within the 300 word limit so as not to force the submission of an open ended essay to the system, which will result in an automatic failing score.
however,
This statement is not necessary. The extent is being asked for but not what you feel should be another focus of discussion. That created a prompt deviation which will result in a failing preliminary TA score. The whole essay has already failed by this point. Always stick to the writing guide provided. Do not give information that is not asked for or not supported by the writing prompts. The TA also tests how well you follow instructions so deviations show you are not capable of sticking to what is asked of you.
Although increasing
The 2 supporting reasons for your given opinion does not change. This prompt deviation paragraph will result in an under developed essay presentation score. The word count in this paragraph will also be deducted from your actual word count. If you come in under the minimum 250 word count, a percentage score will also be deducted. There is a clear danger that this essay will not pass in an actual test.
Discuss your long term career growth over the next 5 years. Do not go beyond that because the next phase of your career plans and development, the next 5 years to complete 10 years, will require you to have a PhD level education already. That means, the Chevening masters studies will have run its course over the 5 years after you complete the program. You can discuss your career plan and the impact that you perceive it to have on mental health using a yearly plan presentation. What is the plan on a year to year basis for your career growth in relation to your contributions to the mental health field of Indonesia. Where do you plan to work? How do you plan to get hired there? Will you remain there for the next 5 years or will you switch companies midstream to help better promote your mental impact program in the country? Consider these when making your presentation to the committee in written form.
Do not bore the reviewer with irrelevant details. There is a reason that you were given writing questions to aid you in the development of your essay. You must answer these from the first paragraph onward. The introduction should serve as the backdrop of the development of your network. A single network. This should reflect how you met immediately.
Pick the most valuable networking relationship that you have. You do not have to present many, you have to present the most valuable one that could be of benefit to Chevening should you become a part of the scholarship network. It is important that you also refer not to online networking, but rather, the development of a face to face network. While having an active social media group and profile is admirable in the 21st century, the reviewer will still be more impressed by face to face networking development.
Do not summarize the relationship. Discuss how it was built from scratch. Focus on the most important one.
Try to use a more recent leadership action that you had to take. Your references are far too old for these to be considered by the reviewer. Additionally, the information you provide is too simplistic in nature. There is no real outline of the way that you displayed leadership. This is more of a narration and summary of a problem and how you approached it. The reflection on a developing leadership style and it's effectiveness is not really highlighted in your essay. The reviewer does not need to know how many years you believe you have been developing as a leader or that you developed as a leader. What he is interested in are your leadership abilities in action. How did you lead the team? What sort of communication did you lead to get the tasks done? Was this a large or small team? Information that would help him develop a true picture of you as a leader.
Your opening statement is not only off the mark in terms of restating the original concept of the prompt, it is also a confusing word salad. It cannot be understood in terms of context because you decided to turn it into a vocabulary exercise of advanced English words and phrases that you do not actually know how to properly use. Therefore, your task accuracy score, as well as your writer's opinion presentation will receive a failing mark. That said, the essay has already failed in its actual scoring because of the severe errors made in the first paragraph, which represents a majority of your final score. You did not even come close to a proper writer's opinion presentation when one considers the question posed before you. The examiner may not even continue reading your essay till the end because of the impossibility of you gaining a passing score towards the end, when all factors have been considered. The TA score is what will prevent that.
Do not confuse the discussion by presenting you previous career. Focus on your current career that you hope to advance through the Chevening scholarship. It should not lead back to your LinkedIn profile either. You need to refer to an actual person or organization that you connected with in relation to the job that you are doing. Remember that your network will become a part of the Chevening network should you be accepted into the progam. So you need to prove a useful and interactive network / contact. Someone or some organization that you exchanged talent or skills with to help out one another in various or specific projects. This presentation is too weak and uncertain in content that it will not help advance your application but can actually hold it back instead.
The discussion is too fast. You need to slow down and be more specific. Since we live in the age of 21st century skills, you need to clarify how you were coordinating the activities. As the leader, what apps or instruments did you use to help direct the movements of the people. Were you ever on site at the hospital or with the nuns? What else did you have to do to as a leader? Can you discuss any conflicts that you had to resolve? Consider the enormity of the project and reflect upon how it challenged your leadership skills in a more serious manner than what you have already presented. While your discussion is good, it is not deep enough nor reflective enough of your leadership skills. Get into the nitty gritty of the project if you have to.
The social media aspect of your endeavor took up most of the essay. Even though the end result was you inspiring a higher up to encourage other teachers to do the same, that cannot be taken to mean that you practiced leadership in an indirect manner. That is because Chevening is looking for leaders who can make a direct difference in their home country. That means, they are looking for someone who embodies leadership in a face to face and engaged manner. The essay does not reflect your abilities to practice leadership in an actual scenario and therefore, makes this presentation ineffective for the purpose of the essay. You must show true leadership skills such as team management, conflict resolution, and workplace communication.
You need to simplify the letter. It is highly technical in content, making it uninteresting to read. Consider that while you believe that your application will be reviewed by a panel of experts in the same field, in actuality, it could be read by simple people who do not have a highly technical background in epigenetics or are not interested in the topic. So you need to keep this lively, interesting, and informative in a manner that even a lay person will be able to understand and gain an interest in your application. Consider the plane crash that you mentioned at the start. A lay person would be interested in learning how that crash and the DNA investigation might relate to your interest in DNA analysis. You can also do the same for the Covic 19 reference.
I can't help but ask, did you download the application packet for the GKS scholarship before you wrote this essay? The reason I ask is because there is a full focus on only your academic achievements and interests, when the personal / motivational statement requests that you discuss more than just your academic interests. While you show a keen interest in the university and studying in Korea, it is not a balanced essay that the reviewer will be able to use to get to know you. It is important that you review the content as compared to the prompt requirements. By the way, the essay will definitely benefit from professional editing to fix the grammar errors that exist in the essay. This is really a confusing essay to read, even though you show interest in the aforementioned areas. You need to have this edited for clarity of content.
Kindly remember that you need to properly format the report as that is a part of your task accuracy score. Always write in paragraph form. The task 1 essay should have 3-4 paragraphs in it.
You did a good job in spreading out the summary overview information between the introduction and the trending statement, It shows an intermediate grasp of English sentence formation. The comparison information was clear and easy to understand. You may want to be more specific with your image identifier though. Don't just say "bar graph" because there are several types of bar graphs. In this case, the reference could be a "columnar bar chart".
This is a pretty solid piece of writing. The word count is perfect. The scoring considerations will be maximized for sure. This is a well written and well developed essay. It will receive a higher than average score.
You seem to be in a bit of a pinch when it comes to developing your English speaking and writing skills. I would suggest that you try to join English clubs if those exist in your school, so that you can get exposure that you need and improve even in small ways. However, the best way to improve your skills would be to enter into an agreement with your school to allow you to spend some of your after school time with an IELTS tutor, either online or in person, who can help you improve your English skills in a targeted manner. That will help you properly improve your vocabulary and comprehension skills in relation to the scoring rubic for various testing sections in IELTS.
No. It is not appropriate because it does not contain any information that properly highlights how the body of paragraphs will be presented. There is also a lack of clarity in your prompt restatement. I will not write the whole essay for you so do not expect that I will correct your mistakes part by part. I prefer to give advice to students based on the completed work. Not just one paragraph. However, I will give you a freebie and show you how the paragraph could be written.
Social media is considered to be a strong influence on the advancement of the professional ambitions of today's generation. However, the influence presents challenges such as finding one's identity in the world of social media platforms and overcoming the challenges that the overcrowded world poses in terms of developing their career targets, goals, and ambitions.
As per the discussion instructions, you need to present information about your strongest network building collaboration. Just one. Not 2 or more. They are not interested in that. The current professional network presentation that you have presented is very limited in scope. Consider expanding this discussion instead. Why that discussion? It is the one that is most aligned with the task requirements. So if you properly explain how you made the connection, used the connection, and continue to cultivate it by showing a continuing relationship, then you will have properly responded to the question. The rest of the essay is not really going to be considered by the reviewers because those are not professional in nature and will not be useful to the development of the Chevening network going forward.
The essay must be revised. You are quite fond of using long winded introductions that do not really help move the essay forward. You should avoid that and focus on the actual discussion requirements. In this case, you are hyper focused on your time in Ireland. You are discussing how you will gain things from the time of study, when the question is about how you will promote the relationship during your studies. You totally skipped explaining how you will promote the scholarship program once you return to your home country as well. So, while you presented a good discussion, it is not aligned with the writing instructions. So you have to revise the essay. It might also be easier for you to just write a new, better focused essay instead. That way you won't have to think about how to align your existing information with new data.
Two things are wrong in your prompt rephrase paragraph. First, you misspelled artifacts. Second, you used the phrase "I think". You cannot use words of uncertainty in your essay, in any portion because this shows that you are not convinced of your own opinion. Remember that you used the phrase "I firmly believe". How can you firmly believe if you only "think" your opinion reasons are correct? It makes your opinion invalid. The reviewer may also consider your reference to "build" as a prompt deviation because there is no reference to "building" museums or art galleries in the original. The statement was just that it will not be needed anymore. So the slight addition of information totally changed the subject / target of the discussion.
I believe that you should have 2 methods by which you will introduce your own culture and traditions to the Irish people. Go beyond the digital presentation. While that will help in expanding the information dissemination about your country and help people understand more about your country and its people. It limits the interaction that you can have with the Irish that can help you immerse them in your culture. While I agree that there are already existing face to face communities that accomplish this task, there is always room for one more. It would be helpful if you can develop a unique way of inviting people to experience your way of life. Get another group together that can do this. Form it, develop a mission in relation to your immersion idea. What would make it so interesting that the reviewer will accept this as an asset to the program should you be accepted into to?
What is this? The reviewer is not familiar with it and he will not take the time to research what it is. Since this is important to your family business, explain what this is to the reviewer. Is it a dish, currency, or something cultural?
family to study abroad,
This is insignificant to the reviewer. This does not make you a unique candidate as this pertains only to your family. You are not sure if this will truly inspire your brother, nor are you certain it will inspire others from a similar background. Do not make claims that are uncertain. Try to stay within the realm of reality, without thinking or making statements for others who are not applicants to this program.
As for the relation to Ireland, I feel it could be stronger. The ties and network between your countries should be created, nurtured, and grown through your participation in the program.
You cannot firmly agree with the statement as you are not provided with a solid opinion discussion instruction. Rather, this is an extent essay. A measured response that looks at the measure of your support for a given statement. So you should say that "I support this statement to the extent that it..." so that you can show that you are supportive of the statement for specific reasons only. 2 reasons must be provided in the summary as usual. The format could be:
I agree with this statement to the extent that I believe (reason 1) and also (reason 2). I will explain my personal reasons in the succeeding paragraphs.
When done in this manner, it becomes clear to the examiner that you have some apprehensions regarding the statement, but that your strongest reasons for the support are based on specific reasons.
Your background is quite strong in terms of academics. I would like to see the same strengths or, even more portrayed under your professional talents and skills. The academic direction is clear as day but, you need to also reflect upon how the scholarship and your studies will benefit your future career. In what way does the program you are interested in align with your professional goals? How do you see yourself using the same for your career advancement? It is not always just about academics since this is a student exchange program for an internship opportunity. The school will be more interested in you if you can discuss your work as a laboratory assistant. Expand on it in the same manner that you expanded upon your academic excellence.
I would reverse the presentation a bit. I would start with the fact that your brother is autistic and that he needs special care. Discuss the difficulties that your mother had to deal with. Go beyond just the speech therapy need so that the weight of "There is nothing we can do" in reference to the meeting with the state senator would carry more weight. Additionally, you should highlight the difficulty that you had in getting the meeting with the state senator. How did you manage to get it? Were you already a part of a movement / group at the time? Who else was represented at this meeting? What provoked the response from the state senator? Try to give a deeper insight into the proceedings so that the rest of the essay will be better received by the reader.
Kindly provide a single paragraph introduction to Studio MU. You immediately dove into your participation and leadership roles in the company without introducing it first. So the reviewer would not really know the background, objectives, and reason for the company's existence. You must also provide an example of how the studio supports the financial growth of the country. What exactly is a strategic brand partner in this case? What sort of brands do you partner with and why? You focused so much on highlighting your leadership contributions that you forgot to lay the foundation for this role. You need to build up the background of your leadership role as well. While it is nice to see you serving as an inspiration, the leadership could be questioned because the basics, such as conflict resolution, team management, and developing the skills of your team members are not reflected in your discussion.
You have done a very good job writing this opinion essay. You were on point in terms of scoring considerations. You also managed to stay within the sweet spot of 277 words, which will lead to a higher scoring consideration overall. If there is one thing that went wrong, but would not affect the scoring consideration, is that your first reasoning paragraph has 6 sentences instead of 5. That can be overlooked because the end word count is still within the 300 word limit.
The introduction / prompt restatement with writer's opinion was well developed. The reverse paraphrase in the concluding paragraph was at par with the first paragraph. There is very little fault to be found in the presentation. It is clear and easily understandable. However, that is my opinion and may not be the same opinion you will receive for a similar prompt during the actual test.
shared our enhanced findings with the funding organization.
Further expand on this area. What did your advanced research reveal? How was it received by the funding organization? Since you are trying to prove that you are an excellent researcher, you have to highlight the way that the organization reacted to your group's research. It would also be better if you focused on your contribution to the early and advanced research. That way you can discuss your research skills and talent in a manner that works well with your application interests.
Were both of your papers published? You will draw more attention to your skills if you can indicate that both your group and individual research were worthy of being published and being considered by your professional peers.
The research paper delivers a slew of well cited information. That shows that the writer researched the topic as best as he could. However, that does not mean that the paper is well written. In fact, the paper lacks the human factor in the presentation. An emotional insight from the writer regarding the information that he discovered. Relating it to your personal experiences while learning would be a good way to bring more relatable information to the presentation. Most of the paragraphs just refer to an agreement with the given information. It should go beyond that otherwise, the convincing power of the information will be lost in the written presentation. There is no fault in the information provided. It is the connection with the reader that is missing in the overall presentation.
I believe that you should clarify your status as a sibling in this instance. Are they your biological or step siblings? That was left unclear in the statement. It did not carry the clarifying information that would have explained why the burden of care transferred to you. I would edit the family background to be clearer. The reference to the scene of the accident seems to have popped out of nowhere. Did you go to the scene or was it a video call from your mom? Since the smells are described, I believe you were there, segue into how you got there. Do you remember how you got there or not? It would add to the relevant drama of the situation. Now, as for shortening the essay, you do not need to include your political ambitions nor your gender problems in the discussion. This is an essay about the people that inspired you. Those personal factors helped the reviewer get to know you better than the sudden switch to your political aspirations. That discussion is too soon and too much for the essay. Pick one topic or theme for the presentation and solidly develop that discussion instead.
The problem with the essay is that it did not follow the single opinion presentation. The first opinion immediately contradicts your personal opinion as stated in the previous paragraph. Therefore, you will receive deductions in your TA and C+C scores. You have to know that the examiner will not only consider this essay under developed and contradicting, but he will also not include the unrelated discussion paragraph in the word count. So you will have a final version that is also under the word minimum requirement. As such, the essay may not achieve a passing score. It is always best to stick to the single opinion discussion when the prompt requires you to do so. Using a compare and contrast discussion where it was not instructed means larger TA deductions because of the prompt alteration on your part.
The summary overview is missing a proper presentation of the 4 courses and the type of measurement used to represent the enrollees in an overall manner. This is the given missing link in this oaragraph even as you showed improvement in your information presentation for the summary section.
The data reporting paragraph in the 2nd paragraph could have been better presented. It is rushed and does not make good use of the comma and other punctuation marks to serve as a pause in the reading material. The examiner will feel overwhelmed by that paragraph and may opt to deduct from your GRA score since that is where punctuation mark usage is scored.
The last paragraph is a run on sentence. You need to learn how to divide your information presentation into separate, but related sentences. Always present at least 3 sentences per paragraph. That is the minimum count.
The way that you have your reasoning presentation structured in the restatement and writer's opinion section indicates that you will be using the 3 reasoning paragraph format. You only have 2 reasons presented and both are explained from the public point of view, but do not carry your personal opinion of the given statement. The paragraph that should have explained your personal opinion as a stand alone one is not found in the presentation. Therefore, the essay is not completely developed. The missing paragraph indicates an under developed essay so a corresponding score will be provided. This is regardless of the word count of the essay. Once you are asked to compare, contrast, and give a personal opinion, there should always be 3 paragraphs provided or, 2 paragraphs that clearly indicated your personal opinion at a certain point by using the first person pronoun "I".
You should build on your research skills and published work. Expanding on the information behind these, your skills development during the research process for the thesis or publication, and how the publication was received by your peers would definitely increase your chances for consideration. Do not just provide an overview of these parts. Remember that this is your written interview so you need to get the reviewer interested in your background to advance to the next level of considerations.
Develop the nation "network" discussion as well. Why did you gain an interest in these nations when considering your academic and professional goals? Network building is one thing, but the focus of your choice for the programs, scholarship, and it's accompanying countries for study should be based on your academic pursuit or career training goals.
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