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Posts by trilestari
Name: Tri Lestari Puspitaningrum
Joined: May 11, 2017
Last Post: May 11, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Indonesia
School: Universitas Gadjah Mada

Displayed posts: 4
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trilestari   
May 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS Task 2 parents let children playing computers and tablets [3]

QUESTION : Nowadays, parents often let their children play a lot with computers and tablets in order to improve their technological skills.
Do the advantages of the use of these devices from an early age outweigh the disadvantages?


new technology in kids hands



ANSWER:
In recent years, children is permitted by their parents to play much times with tablets and computers due to provide their sophisticated technological skills. In my opinion, it is agreed that these devices give the advantages rather than the disadvantages. Analyzig this circumtance that computers and tablets can make the kids smarter than ordinary typical age group and it would be fluencing their knowledge for the next grow up period.

First and foremost, both of computers and tablets will improve children become briliant people in their golden age. Due to the fact that, in the beginning period of age supplying much more information could built their brain in the best condition. For instance, if an early age people is getting stimulation everyday from the gadget, it will stimulate the brain to record many types of data. So, extra-ordinary kids who familiar with the gadget have a big opportunity to gain excellent person. Additionally, toddler which is usual with gadget often obtain an achievement in their school. Because of, they spent the time for positive activities such as playing games, learning numbers, or watching videos from sophistichated things.

On the other sides, using electronic appearance can be affected children's health. Owing this, if they are spending a lot of time looking up the media, the kids can get eye problem. It is caused that the kids wear a glasses to assist their sight. Moreover, utilizing media without parental advisory will be harmful the kids to see inappropriate broadcasting. So, parental advisory needed to control their child to reach benefit effect.

To conclude, in my point of view the parents who give permit for the child to let using electronic tools provide positive effect rather than negative for their grow up period.
trilestari   
May 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / Play a lot with gadget in the early age [4]

A prominent example relating to this case is when their friends come to their home after school, they will more focuss on their tablet than playing with them.

For example, when their parents are busy to prepare breakfast and dinner, these children will not help them because these kids just focuss on their computer or smartphones.

I found two words "focuss" that it should be writing with "focus".
I was checking in Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary - 4th Edition.
trilestari   
May 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / Kids skills and familiarization in using new gadgets [5]

It is usefull for them to develop their ability in art, especially kids who have passion in design grafis.

I had been checking in Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary - 4th Edition, you shall use graphic design, not to utilize design grafis.

Don't forget to put on Modifier + Head in a good position.

Keep your best spirit, for IELTS 7.0!
\^o^/
trilestari   
May 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / IT sector business and childrens impact [3]

Halo, Miss Ita!

... or laptop in early aged, it are more smart and professional in the IT.

Please pay attention in bold words, you would like to remember that smart has 1 syllabel and professional has 3 syllable.

I think enough from me, because Mr. Jawahir had been giving you more correction in your essay.

Keep your best spirit, get IELTS band score 7.0!
\^o^/
Best regards,

Tri Lestari P.
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