Writing Feedback / A new recreational facility in Tusk - GRE writing task: Argument Essay [3]

the new facilities in Tusk university

"Tusk university should build a new recreational facility, both to attract new students and to better serve the needs of our current student body. Tusk projects that enrollment will double over the next 10 years, based on current trends. The new school body is expected to reflect a much higher percentage of commuter students than we currently enroll. This will make the existing facilities inadequate. Moreover, the cost of health and recreation club membership in our community has increased rapidly in recent years. Thus, students will find it much more advantageous to make use of the facilities on campus. Finally, an attractive new recreation center would make prospective students, especially athletically gifted ones, more likely to enroll at Tusk"

Write a response that examines this argument's unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how
this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are
wrong.

The argument that Tusk university should build a new recreational facility to attract new students and better serve current ones as a result of projections about probable increase in enrollment due to current trends sounds true and valid at first glance. However, on critical evaluation, it appears the suggestion lacks evidence of substance.

The writer suggests that Tusk should build a new facility to better serve current students but stops short at providing evidence that the student body really needs the facility. Evidence has not been provided to suggest that an opinion poll has been conducted to know the students' needs. What if their need is a better management of the existing facility? A new library perhaps? First knowing their pulse about the issue would have been a better idea. Moreover, it would account to waste of valuable resources if the projection that enrollment would increase based on current trends were wrong.

The writer assumes that the new facilities would encourage athletically gifted students to opt for Tusk ahead of other universities. However, she failed to provide evidence to prove that neighbouring universities lack these facilities. She did not investigate if neighbouring universities have Olympic standard recreation facility capable of crippling those at Tusk.

The claim that cost of recreation and health clubs would better make Tusk facility advantageous to students lack concrete evidence, as she failed to report that students patronise these health clubs.

(Truncated by time constraint. Stopped​ when the 30 minute alloted ran out. Kindly review and state your observations)

Writing Feedback / Organizations should provide support to society as its benefits far outweigh costs. [2]

Some people believe that corporations have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate. Others believe that the only responsibility of corporations, provided they operate within the law, is to make as much money as possible.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

GRE writing task: Analytical writing

Proponents have always argued that corporations are expected to not only fulfilled their legal tax obligation but also promote with a part of their profit. This has always been a controversial topic with many others - business owners especially - arguing that corporations obligation through tax is more than sufficient. Rightfully so, as many of the corporations are taxed on many fronts. However, it is important to note that the well-being of the environment is the well-being of the corporation. An unhappy society would eventually lead to a chaotic corporation.

A quick example leads us to the exploitation industry in Southern Nigeria where oil rich communities' restiveness constantly reduces output. A situation where wealthy multinational corporations worked in impoverished communities saw disruption in the corporations' daily activities. The result was constant kidnap of oil workers for ransom, blowing up of pipelines, militancy, extortions and lots of other vices. Had the corporations given up a part of their profit to develop and improve on the well-being of the society, they wouldn't have to contend with such outcomes.

Corporations who take responsibility for promoting well-being of their immediate communities also tend to observe an increase in their revenue through sales increase. Such communities return the favour by exclusively patronising their products. Consider the example of a pharmaceutical corporation which extend free medical outreach to surrounding communities, the likely result is a raise in their sales as compensation for their efforts.

Furthermore, corporations project themselves in good light by not only regularly paying their taxes but also taking responsibility if the society they operate in. They give the impression that they are not only about profit but care sincerely.

In conclusion, many organizations should emulate giving back to society as its benefits far outweigh costs.

(30 minutes allotted. Kindly review and state opinions)