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Posts by Slumar206 [Suspended]
Name: Mari Yah
Joined: Jul 7, 2017
Last Post: Jul 8, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: Nigeria
School: JMC

Displayed posts: 7
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Slumar206   
Jul 7, 2017
Undergraduate / Why I Bake - Common App Prompt 1 (background, identity, interest, talent) Essay. [7]

Prompt : Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

learning, growing, and creating,



Finally they are ready, I smelled them before my other senses registered their presence. The rich homey smell of baked biscuits seduced my nose and assaulted my brain with taunting images of the mouthwatering goodness. I marched to kitchen, like a soldier to battle, took the biscuit out of the oven and retreated with my golden brown prize. After accompanying the still steaming treat with chocolate, I gently cut off a bite and lift it towards my mouth.

Pure bliss but this is not the reason I bake.

Most of the life-changing lessons are just waiting to be discovered, beyond four high walls, time-table routine and exams - beyond the classroom. The discovery is something I made after engulfing myself in the world of the kitchen. Though encountering a new environment can be quite upsetting to a certain degree, I was acctually glad to venture in this "environment". Unknowing to me, this experience challanged me to take a fresh, creative approach to life while developing a personal drive I would not have attained otherwise. For these reasons, the time I spend in the kitchen remains dear to me.

Dressed in a flour-stained apron, oven mitts and a powdered face, I begin by gathering my tools and ingredients. Then, the harmony begins - the rhythmic shaking of sugar marked the beat, with the whisking of the eggs and constant setting on the timer, all merging to form the melody of the white tiled floor of my mother's kitchen. Attached as I became to the familiar soundtrack of my mother's kitchen, I took a particular liking towards baking.

There is no breathtaking or unique pastry to draw me to bake : it is, instead, the slow process of measuring, sifting, and stirring; waiting as the dough rises in the oven and the house becomes saturated with the scents of butter and flour and definitely sugar; pulling the pans out of the oven and finding the dough transformed into something golden and beautiful that instead excites my core.Baking, to me is like a series of struggles where there have been many failures but were necessary in mastering such craft. While reducing the amount of sugar and adding a little salt, forgetting to set the timer or over-estimating measurements can result in calamities, a few alterations from the recipe can result to triumph. I learned that great bakers are never those who follow every line in a cook book but add their creativity to introduce something new to the oven. This is what I value.

"Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey."
Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart.

I agree with Roy T. Bennett, life is all about the challenges, struggles, and tribulations that come along away that energize us and my spirit, not the prospects of the sugar-filled creations. The meaning of life is simply living it. I live through baking, encountering what life has to offer masked behind the facade of burnt edges,or collapsed pancakes but sweetness blooms in unexpected forms. This is where I am happiest. The feeling must be same to what drove xxx to yyy. It is the challenges - the pain, sweat, and burnt edges - that inspire those who push the envelope to never slow down. This love led xxx to yyy and I to baking instead of living on an empty stomach.

I believe that life is a like baking a cake, but that does not make me feel hopeless. I am content in knowing that I am, like Roy T. Bennett said, constantly accept those mistakes and learn from them. In this empty baking pan of an open mind, I will create and learn, continue to push this dough of existence, of life.

That is why I bake - learning, growing, and creating, focusing on the next step and never the last.

The essay is 650 words long, the common app limit is 650 words, how do I polish it. Please, go hard on critiquing the essay and also suggest a suitable title.

Thank you.
Slumar206   
Jul 8, 2017
Undergraduate / UChicago and Harvard Topic of your choice essay. [2]

moments of life



Every Saturday, I turn on the playlist on my phone, roll up my sleeve, lace up my sneakers, pull up my socks and start my morning with a walk. I stare as pieces of my breath leave my chest to form puffs of air. I feel the cold morning breeze brush over my skin and start to warm up as the sun announces its arrival with rays of its golden goodness, like a canvas spread of yellow paint. I watch as the trees form a black silhoutte against the sky with branches spreading out like arms, to absorb the first rays of sunlight accompanied with the chirping birds that pierce through the cold morning air watch as beads of the morning dew pass through my sneakers, into my socks and sink into my soul, body and mind.

This is my cup of tea for the day.

My body and mind awaken and stretch themselves open like the branches of the trees, trying to absorb everything. Only the echoes of a dog barking and the revving of a car engine remind me that, thankfully, this is nature walk is my reality; a place in this world that I can recognize myself with, not some fantasy.

It is my belief that we, as humans live life like it's a race, in which we have to go as fast as possible and get as much done as possible. One is constantly on the go: wake up in the morning, go to work or school, come home and do what we must do, tuck ourselves in at night and get ready for another day. But many do not take moments to stop and enjoy the smaller things in life and reflect.

To me these moments of reflection, these moments of pausing, are most important. The moments I take to bake, the moments I take a morning walk to breathe in fresh air and have the cool wind brush my skin with the melody of the chirping birds. The moments I take to repose after a hectic day. These are all moments that I need to survive, so I know I'm not a robot with no stop button.

Please how do I end this essay. It is for UChicago and Harvard and if it is not up to their standards please just tell me to stop writing this essay.

Go hard on this essay, please
Slumar206   
Jul 8, 2017
Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] Social life at work and outside work. Discuss [4]

Here is what I think you should edit

Some think that when people work, they do not only consider income but also ...

... are either colleagues or otherwise are great because ...

Networking in the workplace also help people ...
I think the two sentences mean the same thing.
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