Writing Feedback / The Beauty of the Mysterious Universe - college essay [3]

Help!! My college essay is due tomorrow and I would really like some HARSH FEEDBACK! There are some places where I dont know what to put in it so any suggestions would be gr8. Aside from that I feel like this essay doesnt really have much of /Me/ in it, but i reeallllyy like this topic! DONT BE AFRAID GO HARSH W THE FEEDBACK!

many unanswered questions regarding the universe

I once read a quote by Stephen Hawking that stated, " Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." That night I stepped outside, looked up and saw trillions of stars that glistened like tiny shimmering diamonds everywhere I looked. They illuminated everything in the night giving just enough light to where I could see around me. I had never felt more insignificant in my entire life. So many thoughts and questions all of a sudden came to me. Questions such as: "Is there more to life than earth?", "What is the point of life", "Could there be more life out there?" With the universe being as vast as it is it is highly probable for life to extend beyond earth.

There are so many questions regarding the universe that are unanswered and I am extremely baffled by this. I have always been the type of person to continue to ask a question until that question has a definite answer, but that is technically impossible with these types of questions as they regard the beginning of the universe, which we were not there for. We, as a society, have not a clue as to how the universe came to be. Of course we have theories, but none of them have been proven, they are all just speculations.

Ever since I read that quote by Hawking, I go out every night and gaze upon the stars with all these thoughts continuing to run through my mind. Our world is too complex to have just happened conquinsidentily. For some reason this matters deeply to me. We only see the first layer of our universe and the deeper we go the more beautiful it becomes. When I want to find out something I will usually keep challenging myself, my thoughts, until I get an answer. In school I have a reputation of "the one that asks billions of questions on a daily basis." I usually get the answer to my seemingly infinite amount of questions, but with this question I have not been given an answer. (what do i do with this)

(this paragraph is still a huge work in progress, threw out lots of thoughts in this one) That one quote honestly changed my entire perspective on the universe. I now want to know everything there is to know about my cosmos. It sparked a (something) in my mind that has lead to who I am today. There will always be questions that go unanswered in the field of cosmology and that is one of the most fascinating things to me. Imagine one single water molecule in the vast ocean. That is what the earth is, just one single object in an infinite world. The more I learned about this, the more I wanted to know more. It quickly became all I thought about and I hope to one day discover more secrets about the entirety of the universe.

Writing Feedback / MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE - MY ESSAY TO GET INTO COLLEGE [2]

Hello everyone! I believe this is going to be my final draft of my college essay, and not the essay I do in college, but the essay that I submit to get INTO college! Id appreciate any opinions anyone may have about it!

these events shaped my personality

The last thing I remember was running to my room to pray. It was late at night, about 3 am, when I awoke to the sound of familiar voices screaming in the hallway. I remember trying to make sense of what the voices were saying, but as a five-year-old, I could not comprehend them. I threw the blankets off the bed and began to make my way down the stairs to the startling sounds; it is then I realized my parents were the source of the screaming. I immediately ran towards them, getting in-between them, and began begging them to stop yelling. I instantly knew this was not just a normal fight that parents had from time to time; this was something more than that, something that was going to change my entire life forever. I remember putting my arms out trying to stop the yelling, telling them that everything will be okay if they just stopped screaming at each other. My dad pulled me aside and whispered for me to go back to my room.

After that night, my whole world turned upside down. My parents divorced, and my dad was granted full custody of both my sister and me. My mom had struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction since she was a teenager. I knew the split was best for not only me, but for my entire family.

However, I cannot help but wonder what life would have been like with a mom. I have always been the type of person to continue to ask a question until that question has a definite answer, but that is nearly impossible with some questions . I once read a quote by Stephen Hawking that stated, " Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Ever since I read that quote, I go out every night and gaze upon the stars with all these thoughts streaming through my mind. My situation has made me come out as a stronger person, willing to face anything that is put in front of me. I live in moments, taking one step at a time, and never taking my life for granted. Because of my past, I now feel as though I see things many people overlook. I tend to notice all of the little things our entire universe has to offer.

This world is too complex to have just happened coincidentally. We only see the first layer of our universe, and the deeper we go the more beautiful it becomes. My upbringing made me see life from a whole new perspective. I began to see that I did not need to have a "normal" family life to be reared well and loved completely, but this realization took time. Honestly, growing up this way has completely shaped me into the person I am today.