Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Is local history more important than world history? Opinion essay. [4]

global vs local history?

Some people argue that schoolchildren should spend most of their time on studying local history rather than global history. However, I do not agree with this opinion because I think that these fields of historical study are equally important.

On the one hand, the study of local history can increase awareness and pride of children about where they live. When children learn local history, this means they learn the history of a town, an old building, a church, and everything around them. Therefore, they can have a clearer understanding of the area in which they still live. Besides, when children hear incredible stories about national heroes from their grandparents, they are inspired to become a good citizen later. In other words, learning local history increases children's confidence and sense of achievement, encouraging them to protect their local community and traditional values.

On the other hand, understanding world history is a cornerstone for children to become a global citizen in the future. The study of the global history can reveal the diversity of human experiences, which motivates schoolchildren to learn more about other cultures. When they develop curiosity, they will be ready to absorb new knowledge and work with others all over the world. It is impossible to become a global citizen without a certain level of curiosity. And the study of world history is a good way to stimulate that interest.

In conclusion, I disagree with the view that children should prioritize the study of local history, because I believe that learning national and world history plays an equal importance in children's development in the future.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. [3]

Please give me some feedbacks. Thank you so much.

Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

children benefit greatly from technological advances

People have different views about effects of technological innovations on children. In my opinion, technology can bring more benefits for youngsters in their spare time than drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are two considerable disadvantages for children when they devote most of their free time to using technological advances. Firstly, spending many hours in front of computers may lead to health problems. For example, blue light and flickering image can strain their eyes and cause dry eyes, not to mention the high risk of childhood obesity. Secondly, a number of young people prefer chatting instead of face-to-face interactions, resulting in a lack of communication skills in real life. That is, they tend to be more negative, vulnerable and dependent on parents when dealing with social situations.

However, I would argue that these drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits. Using the Internet, children can learn more about the world because online resources are unlimited and accessible anytime, anywhere. My daughter, for example, used her smartphone to search for the World War 1 so that she enhanced her knowledge base and passed the history test easily. Another convincing reason is that youngster can boost their intelligence, memory, and problem-solving skills through mind games and educational applications such as Sudoku, ClassDojo, and Tic Tac Toe. Consequently, new technologies both improve the habit of self-study and encourage children's brain development.

In conclusion, as children benefit greatly from using technological advances in their free time, it is clear that the advantages of technology outweigh disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2_ People have the right to university education, and government should make it free [3]

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Topic: Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

free education will have a negative consequences

Many people argue that universities are available to everyone from all walks of life. While I believe that higher education is a human right, I disagree that governments should offer a free university education to all people.

On the one hand, higher education will bring a lot of advantages to the young. Firstly, going to universities or colleges is a huge opportunity to learn and build a solid knowledge base. This will be useful and practical for those who want to become teachers or pursue a postgraduate degree. Secondly, universities give students an open environment to develop essential skills for the future. For example, they can make friends with other students coming from other countries, exchange languages, and learn about different cultures. As a result, their communication skills will be better, and they also have a deeper understanding of the world around them.

However, I disagree with the idea that universities should be free to everyone. In Vietnam, if the government provided free university education, this would lead to low quality of education. When a student doesn't have to pay free tuition fees, he can consider learning as a hobby and show a lack of commitment. Meanwhile, people who are forced to pay for their education will attempt to achieve good results at universities because it's their investment for future. Furthermore, there are many other sectors which need the support of government funds. When tuition fees are shared, governments have extra money to provide for health care, environment, and public transportation.

In conclusion, everyone has the right to access universities or colleges. However, I believe that free education is not affordable because this will have a negative effect on students, governments, and the whole society.