qin6882060
Nov 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / Some people are afraid of new things therefore they stick to what they know [5]
1.You used 'change' in your first sentence while used the plural in other sentences.
2.ease in the daily activities.
3."bring changes" to where? maybe u could try "accept" or "embrace"
4. "feel that" are u trying to say "feel like" which means desire, want
5.They feel like to achieve something big, which requires them to go out of their comfort zone and to explore something new.
6.Moreover, it is witnessed that many changes have already been done to cope with existing problems.
7.... electric cars and solar cookers was widely accepted as they ... (the acceptance was after people had seen their success. You specified "non-renewable resources", so it's better to specify pollution as well )
8. ... especially elder people, who are relatively resistant to these changes.
9."They feel that as they have mastered these ..." This sentence is hard to be understood. Suggestion: They believe the skills they've acquired/mastered in their early age is sufficient to enjoy their lives, so they prefer not to risk adopting new methods which could potentially lead to uncertainty.
10.For example, many elder/aged people prefer basic phone ... their inefficiency would be showcased to their grandchildren ... (this seems awkward to me)
11. ... in order to survive (this is too much, consider live) efficiently, people should accept (you could try "take advantage of") the changes in their lives.
12.Adapting the technological advances, even a small one, can make a big difference to our(you are one of the "people") lifestyle and lead us to a better (this word seems redundant to me, you could try some other adj. such as promising) and advanced future.
1.You used 'change' in your first sentence while used the plural in other sentences.
2.ease in the daily activities.
3."bring changes" to where? maybe u could try "accept" or "embrace"
4. "feel that" are u trying to say "feel like" which means desire, want
5.They feel like to achieve something big, which requires them to go out of their comfort zone and to explore something new.
6.Moreover, it is witnessed that many changes have already been done to cope with existing problems.
7.... electric cars and solar cookers was widely accepted as they ... (the acceptance was after people had seen their success. You specified "non-renewable resources", so it's better to specify pollution as well )
8. ... especially elder people, who are relatively resistant to these changes.
9."They feel that as they have mastered these ..." This sentence is hard to be understood. Suggestion: They believe the skills they've acquired/mastered in their early age is sufficient to enjoy their lives, so they prefer not to risk adopting new methods which could potentially lead to uncertainty.
10.For example, many elder/aged people prefer basic phone ... their inefficiency would be showcased to their grandchildren ... (this seems awkward to me)
11. ... in order to survive (this is too much, consider live) efficiently, people should accept (you could try "take advantage of") the changes in their lives.
12.Adapting the technological advances, even a small one, can make a big difference to our(you are one of the "people") lifestyle and lead us to a better (this word seems redundant to me, you could try some other adj. such as promising) and advanced future.