Undergraduate / MIT Essay - Fun Activity [11]

This is the first essay that I have posted on this site, so I'm looking forward to all your comments and suggestions. Thanks in advance!

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The prompt:
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (100 word limit)

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I started figure skating when I was five years old. Ever since the first time I laced-up my skates, clung to the wall of the rink, and stumbled along the perimeter, I have been thrilled with the experience. Over the years, the list of my abilities/skills has expanded to include duck shoots, sit spins, camel spins, and double jumps, but I still get the same feeling of excitement as I did the first time on ice. In the seconds when I spin on the ice, or jump into the air, the feeling of suspension between time and space fills in me. Figure skating is an exhilarating sport, from which I have learned how to balance myself not only on the ice between speed and elegance, but also in my life between tension and relaxation. (134 words)

Undergraduate / MIT Essay - Use of Creativity (Fashion) [3]

Hi everyone :) Thanks in advance for your constructive feedback!

Below is my response to the prompt: Tell us about a time you used your creativity. This could be something you made, a project that you led, an idea that you came up with, or pretty much anything else. (200-250 word limit)

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Fashion for A Cause was a new club when I joined. It's purpose is to raise community awareness for fashion and the arts as well as to support a nonprofit cause by hosting a fashion show. I worked with the founders and had initiatives, such as streamlining the organization of outfits and suggesting that we contact the corporate offices of department stores to obtain donations. I became Business Director/President and immediately started planning the annual charity fashion show. I involved other officers by conducting brainstorm sessions and setting up a work plan. The whole club voted on a theme and set for the show, as well as the charity for which we would raise money. I came up with the 2009 show's theme (international) and worked with others to coordinate colors and a set design that would illuminate the models best, but also not blind showgoers. I helped put together outfits and create a show line-up. I also compiled songs for and helped edit the DVD of the show. A major part of the time leading up to the show was devoted to fund-raising and establishing partnerships with local and national businesses, for donations. I ran the logistics of business trips and phone-banking sessions, and guided members in face-to-face and phone communications. I periodically conducted in-school fund-raising events as means of fund accumulation and as reminders of the worthy cause. My fundraising activity ideas included hand-made jewelry sale and face painting, in addition to bake sales and fruit juice mixes. (Word Count: 250)

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A particular concern of mine is whether the purpose of the club is clear to those who aren't familiar with it.