This is the first essay that I have posted on this site, so I'm looking forward to all your comments and suggestions. Thanks in advance!
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The prompt:
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (100 word limit)
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I started figure skating when I was five years old. Ever since the first time I laced-up my skates, clung to the wall of the rink, and stumbled along the perimeter, I have been thrilled with the experience. Over the years, the list of my abilities/skills has expanded to include duck shoots, sit spins, camel spins, and double jumps, but I still get the same feeling of excitement as I did the first time on ice. In the seconds when I spin on the ice, or jump into the air, the feeling of suspension between time and space fills in me. Figure skating is an exhilarating sport, from which I have learned how to balance myself not only on the ice between speed and elegance, but also in my life between tension and relaxation. (134 words)
well ive never done a college essay but it says 100 word limit..would they take 134?
I think I might get an error message if I try to do that, so that's why I'm looking for some feedback to cut it down a bit.
I started figure skating when I was five years old. Ever since the first time I first laced-up my skates at age five, clung to the wall of the rink, and stumbled along the perimeter, I have been thrilled with the experience of figure skating. Over the years, the list of my abilities/skills has expanded to include duck shoots, sit spins, camel spins, and double jumps , but I still get the same feeling of excitement as I did the first time on ice. In the seconds when I spin on the ice, or jump into the air, the feeling of suspension between time and space fills in me. Figure skating is an exhilarating sport, from which I have learned howhas taught me to balance myself not only on the ice between speed and elegance, but also in my life between tension and relaxation.
fbs801
he did a nice job of condenscing it for you (: haha
Thanks for the feedback =)
What max of the length. I think you should lengthen it :D
Are you sure this is an MIT essay? It seems rather short...
Yes, this is the first, of five, MIT essays.
I started figure skating aged five. From the moment I first laced-up my skates, clung to the wall of the rink, and stumbled along the perimeter, the experience has thrilled me. Over the years, my abilities have expanded but I still get the same thrill as I did that very first time on ice; in the seconds when I am spinning, or jumping through the air, the feeling of suspension between time and space fills me. Figure skating is an exhilarating sport; it has taught me balance, not only on the ice, but also in life, between tension and relaxation.
100 Words exactly...
lovely piece of writing by the way. Well done!
i went to an MIT info session, an admissions guy there said when you go over the limit it will still come out, the text just gets smaller and smaller as you go on. doesn't mean they won't read it. its just a little annoying.
