Writing Feedback / Whether parents or schools should be responsible for teaching child to become a helpful citizen [2]

IELTS Writing Task 2: Discuss both View Essay

This is my essay for the topic, grateful to have any feedback.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether parents or schools should responsible for teaching child to be a helpful citizen has been widely discussed. In my opinion, they are equally important in this case.

One the one hand, it is undeniable that parents should play important roles in moral education for children. Social activities are very limited to children and they have very few opportunities to interact and communicate with other grow-ups who might act as good examples to obey and respect the rules. Parents are the closest family members to kids and it is very easy for children to mocking their behaviors. Thus, they will miss an important channel to acquire what is important in life if parents refuse to help them.

On the other hand, there are several reasons that we should not underestimate the functions of schools in building value system for children. Firstly, the simplest reason is that school is not only a place to teach knowledge and basic skills but also where children should learn how to be a useful person. Secondly, school is the second home for children and where they spend the time to build their early social connections. The behaviors of other kids would have a significant impact on them. Which means it is crucial that schools make sure every child obtains the proper lessons about the common value of life and society. Finally, children might believe whatever told by parents are right even it is not. Schools need to provide them with the idea about how to distinguish right from wrong systematically.

The moral education for children is complex. Schools are responsible for giving them the right guidance of doing the right things and parents should also act well to be a good role model and first teachers.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Report: Overweight negatively affects the public health [3]

This is my essay for the topic, grateful to have any feedback.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels health and fitness is decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

main reasons of the overweight problem in a society

Public health is negatively affected by the increasing overweight problem in some countries. In my opinion, there are several reasons can be used to explain this situation.

The two main reasons of overweight are overeating and less physical activities. One the one hand, people tend to overeat because there are genes laying inside our bodies to protect ourselves from starvation. These genes were developed from our ancestors who had been experienced the starvation for millions of years since the origination of human race. Until recently, due to the development of agriculture science, at the very first time, many people are no longer in the starvation situation as increasing food productivity. But the genes still encourage us to do so. On the other hand, this technology-based society requires less physical activities from us. We can get almost everything done without moving around. For example, we can do online shopping without going to the real store or use virtual reality technology to travel around the world without having real field trips. This trend makes us no way to consume the extra energy we take in.

In order to solve this problem, the government and society should work together as a whole. Firstly, the government should provide enough facilities to encourage people to do physical exercise, such as building sports facilities in the neighbor or park and organizing sports events on a regular basis. Secondly, social awareness of good eating habit should be emphasized through varies social media, like tv, Radio or internet. For example,

In conclusion, the lack of proper eating habit and physical exercises are the main reasons that cause the overweight problem and unhealthy condition. The ideal solution to address this problem is to encourage people sports or exercise regularly and form a balanced eating habit.

Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 2：Increasing the price petrol is the best ways to solve growing traffic and [3]

Would be grateful to have this essay reviewed. Thanks.

Topic:Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by some people that the traffic congestion and air pollution problem can be solved by increasing the price of fossil fuels for cars. I do not agree with this opinion because there are several other effective ways we can take to deal with those problems.

Advocate argued that price increases can reduce the use of private cars and relief the pollution problem for two reasons. The price-sensitive drivers tend to give up using cars as their choice of vehicle to commute or travel around. As the number of cars decreased, the traffic jam would be relived as well. Additionally, the fume comes from private cars, which using fossil-fuel as power, is the major source of air pollution in modern cities. Reduce the use of them can improve the quality of the environment.

However, I believe that there are other ways we can promote to achieve the goal mentioned above. Firstly, the government can invest more money in providing more effective traffic system by designing bus only lines and encouraging people to use public transportation by giving a discount on fees. Secondly, the innovation and invention on vehicles that powered by new energy, such as wind, sun and water energy should be promoted and encouraged. For example, authorities can issue a tax refund to those companies. Finally, society is equally responsible to launch campaigns to raise the awareness of people for protecting the environment.

In occlusion, increasing the cost of driving private cars is a possible way to reduce the using of them thus protects the environment and relief the traffic problem. But I do not agree that it is the best way to do so because we have much better ways to do so, such as promoting new energy cars and investing in better traffic systems.

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