Writing Feedback / The reconstruction of Hospital Road - changes in the pathway to a city hospital [2]

Hi all, I am currently practicing the writing skill for my upcoming IELTS test. I would be much glad if all of you could give me the comment for my work. Thank you a lot!

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

ROAD ACCESS TO A CITY HOSPITAL

The two maps illustrate the changes in the pathway to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.
Overall, there are some significant differences between the former route structure and the latter one. It can be inferred that the road access was considerably developed in three years.

As shown in the maps, staff car park in 2010 took place of the entire car park site in 2007. In addition, the public car park was extended to a larger size compared to a previous parking area in the last three years, located in the east next to the city hospital.

The reconstruction of Hospital Road released two new roundabouts in the intersections of Hospital Road with other main roads in the period between 2007 and 2010. The approach to public transport was easier in 2010, by going from Ring Road, Hospital Road, and City Road. However, in 2007 there was no convenience in reaching a bus stop, altered by a roundabout in 2010.

(161 words)

Writing Feedback / The life abroad can create both social and practical issues due to the lack of language knowledge [3]

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

the language barrier

In these days, there has been a controversial assumption that getting to live abroad can create both social and practical issues due to the fact that foreign language is a must. I personally agree with that owing to these following arguments.

First of all, language barrier is the key point which causes practical matters like conflict in a relationship. It is apparent that different languages have each style of speaking, leading to distinguished accents, voices and even body gestures. This could be the root which resulted in misunderstanding between some Indian and American students, namely, in a memorial time of a conference when the host took picture of attending delegates, American post with two fingers with palm side while a few Indian, with vice-versa side. What was not well-known that, in some cultures, the posture of some Indian did perceivedly showed less regards, therefore the American students thought the Indian lacked formality.

Secondly, social aspects should be considered when referring to language-related problems. It is generally seen that the cultures according to nationalities are quite distinct. These, accompanied by language obstacle, could direct non-native speakers to undergo hardships in work opportunities. Hence, they probably contribute to a large proportion of unemployment rate, especially in competitive markets like the US and Japan. Moreover, the immigrants could be the victims of bullying and racism since they could hardly interact with other residential citizens. For instance, in the US there are getting more and more cases of black discrimination.

In conclusion, social and practical disadvantages might appear when someone moves to other countries. In my opinion, overseas bureaucracies should give aid to newcomers in terms of finance and welfare.

(276 words)