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Posts by Sasakfld
Name: Jian
Joined: Dec 16, 2018
Last Post: Dec 22, 2018
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: USA

Displayed posts: 6
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Sasakfld   
Dec 16, 2018
Undergraduate / The Experimental Class. Tell about the important place, or places, you call home. [3]

Hi! Please help me with my Brown community essay. Thanks very much.

Brown University community essay



Prompt: Tell us about the place, or places, you call home. These can be physical places where you have lived, or a community or group that is important to you. (250 word limit)

Doing well in the senior school entrance exam of Shanghai and the placement test of my high school, students in three Experimental Classes are all exceptional in intellect as well as academic performance. Therefore, when I just entered the Natural Science Experimental Class, I was overwhelmed by my classmates' competence, especially in maths and science.

My math score improved significantly after joining this community. My classmates always transformed the math classes into forums. They enthusiastically shared different ideas, and meanwhile, I gained knowledge beyond the syllabus and was pushed to think fast. I could gradually approach a problem using different solutions and put forward my thoughts during classes.

Even if score matters, thanks to the Experimental Class, I also got to understand that score is not the only standard that defines a person, because everyone around me has something that makes others want to exclaim "wow." For instance, my desk mate is good at critical thinking; the girl in front of me could detect and analyze details hidden in readings; the girl behind me is the first prize winner of a Chinese composition contest. I not only learned from them but also formed a mathematical modeling team with them. We all found our niches while working for the competition. Due to cooperation, we four together achieved the outcome that we could not achieve separately.

The Experimental Class plays an indispensable role in my life. It witnessed my growth, both academically and personally. It also shaped my resolve to always surround myself with outstanding students to learn, cooperate, and get inspirations at every possible moment.
Sasakfld   
Dec 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Asking for a letter of reference to apply for a job [3]

Hi!
My suggestion is that maybe you can use "please"s in the letter to make yourself sound more polite. For example: "please mention the duties and responsibilities performed....". Besides, do you need to write things like "Dear Mr./Mrs" in the beginning and your own name at the end? I haven't taken IELTS, but I think in normal situations they are required. Also, I think it's better to mention some interactions that you have had with the teacher that you are writing to. Say you like his/her courses, and have learned a lot from these courses and you can also mention that I believe you are the best person who can write this reference letter for me because xxxx.
Sasakfld   
Dec 17, 2018
Undergraduate / Georgetown - What does it mean to you to be educated? [2]

HI!
I really like your answer to the question "what does it mean to you to be educated". It's great!
For the essay, my suggestion is that when telling how GU is the right place for you, your description is too broad. It's like anyone can copy the last two paragraphs and use them in their own essay. It's not specific to GU and to yourself. I think it might be better to write something unique about you and about GU.
Sasakfld   
Dec 17, 2018
Undergraduate / Why major essay for a tons of school! [2]

Hi! Someone please help me with the why major essay! Many school requires that.
It might be a little long so I'm wondering which part can be cut in order to reach the word limit(within 300).
Please give me suggestions! Thanks very much.

making an impact in the world of health



Since middle school, I have been participating in the annual Popular Science competition. As I grew older, the knowledge in the textbook "grew" deeper. Instead of "water has surface tension", it talks about the imbalanced force water molecules on the surface received. Instead of "anemia causes fatigue," it says "lack of iron causes the reduction of hemoglobin and oxygen delivery, thus reducing the rate of aerobic respiration and energy production." It was interesting to step by step penetrate into the logic behind everything and to find that applying these theories to practice contributes to a better world.

I particularly want to investigate human biology and improve the life quality of those who suffer from organ failure, so I choose to declare a concentration in Biochemistry & Molecular Biology at Brown. My ambition is retroactive to an academic event where I met Prof. Wan, who introduced bioprinting to me. If someone suffers from organ failure, one recourse is to extract the patient's stem cells, mix them with growth factors and other biomaterials, then print the mixture into a healthy organ that replaces the old one. I was impressed by the great potential of this technology. My great grandma is physically healthy except that she suffers from Alzheimer's Disease caused by the loss of neurons, which cannot be reversed using the existent treatments. Also, there are millions of patients who cannot receive organ donation or they get transplant rejection. Their metabolic system may shut down beginning with just one organ dysfunction. However, regenerative medicine, like a revolution, is aiming to provide radical solutions.

Afterward I researched the current challenges faced by regenerative medicine. Leaning that those difficulties mainly relate to cellular and molecular interactions, I was motivated to delve into these fields, hoping to make an impact in the world of health.
Sasakfld   
Dec 22, 2018
Graduate / ESSAY - Why Smith? Why a masters degree? Why now? [3]

Hi!
1. I am diligently ...--am should be was
2. in a MSMA ...--a should be an
3. I tend to succeed more in ...--why you tend to succeed more in a small classroom setting and what can you gain from the small setting?

4. "the design of the courses" in the last paragraph is not specific enough. I think it might be better for you to elaborate on it.

Btw, r u Asian? Nice to meet you
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