Writing Feedback / Technology and Crime Rate - IELTS Writing Task 2- Opinion Essay [2]

technology's impact on the criminal cases

Hello everyone,

I have been studying for takin IELTS as soon as possible. It'd be great, if someone evaluate my essay. Thanks in advance.

Best,

Question:
The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime.
Do you agree or disagree?

My answer:

It is argued that the numbers of criminal incident are lower than before because of the developing technology which keeps people away from the criminal world. I partly agree the view that advancements in technology have impact on the rate of committing crimes, while I believe that also the offenders benefit from the technological developments.

On the one hand, the technology always helps officers catching the offenders or stopping the people who plan to commit a crime throughout the history. Besides for that, nowadays, there are lots of breakthrough regarded preventing most crimes. For example, officers have the fingerprints of ex-offenders which enable polices to find out the re-offenders. Furthermore, it can easily be said that computer-based systems or surveillance cameras contribute to agencies when they need to track some murderers or to monitor the money-transfer of some terrorists. Moreover, the advancements in technology also make individuals keep in safe, giving the equipments of home security or some applications on smart phones which are capable of calling the police when the user is in a dangerous situation.

On the other hand, the technological benefits bring their own-risks in the modern world. There are various technological advancements which make the criminal people's jobs easier than ever since the market is useful for all people. Most of systems which are built up by computers have their own security barriers which it means that they also have some loops in their security systems. For example, even though digital banking is fairly beneficial for customers, there are certain risks like phishing users' ID or cracking the all security barriers. Likewise, there are some the cyber-risks for citizens.

In conclusion, there are obviously some pros and cons related to the technology's impact on the criminal cases. I partly support the people who claim that nowadays the technological developments contribute to prevent crimes, whilst I think the some developments in technology adversely impact the criminal world.

Writing Feedback / Senior-level workers - IELTS Writing Task 2- Opinion Essay [2]

Hello everybody,

It would be great, if anyone could evaluate my essay for ietls writing task 2. I'm considering to take an IELTS exam.

Best.

C-level employees

Q:
Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You should write at least 250 words.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A:
It is frequently argued by some people that C-level employees should be forced to resign their jobs for the career's path of the young workers. Although I would claim that companies and corporations should have an effective career policy about how to employ the new generation, I think that there are various ways to open new occasions instead of making above 55 years old workers retired.

On the one hand, nowadays, it has often claimed that since high-level workers have tendency to work as long as they can do, senior associates have no chances to doing their best, and showing their performances. Firstly, because of that life expectancy has been skyrocketing since last century, some people prefer to occupy their professionals until the day when they are retired or the time they are not capable of practicing their tasks. To give an example, it can be indicated that most of C-level employees are over 60 years old, and it can be said that some of people in high position at a company get their promotion at 50 years old. This circumstance leads visions of workers, and it affects people's approach regarding their careers. Secondly, the rate of increasing of the world population slightly exceeded the ratio of the business growth, the experts say. Some of researches show that to find a job is more demanding than before due to these new conditions. It is obvious that this issue require an effective policies and crucial strategies which should be applied by all players in labor markets.

On the other hand, there are several solutions at this issue. Forcing people to leave at their position might have negative results in a long term projection. For example, this decision can discourage the other employers, and workers may lose their willingness to get a high level position job. Another key point is that 55 is very early age to be retired, and this policy may cause some financial problem related to social security services. For that reason, companies should consider having different options such as create new positions or building a new departments, and to design a valuable career path. The other beneficial way is that companies can try to employ these c-level people in another department especially they can use them to educate new employee.

To conclude, even though I partly agree with the people who claim that the companies need to find out essential ways to give an opportunity for senior level workers, I believe that there are always different solutions and forcing people to leave at their jobs is not a reasonable option.