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Posts by otgon
Name: Otgon
Joined: Jun 10, 2019
Last Post: Jun 21, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Mongolia

Displayed posts: 5
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otgon   
Jun 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / The invention of computers is one of the most significant inventions all the time. Academic IELTS [4]

computers are most important invention?



Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


One of the remarkable inventions in human history is the computer. Throughout the years, computers have been implemented or upgraded tremendously since their first invention and have been widely used in everyday life throughout the world. Relating to the computer invention, not only many significant technological and technical innovations has been brought to our daily lives, but also computers help us to complete processes easily. Therefore, I completely agree with the statement.

Computer's invention has been brought many significant changes for doing actions easily in every aspect of business, science and human life. Using computers allows people to complete tasks easily within few seconds and makes the way of doing things completely simple. For example , the calculation for large set of numbers can be easily completed by computers within in few seconds, in case, without computers it might take several hours or days to complete. This way, computer helps us completing actions easily and accurately which makes our daily lives more efficient.

Moreover, based on computer's innovation, many technological and technical innovations have been developed and used widely in human's daily life. Technological innovations based on computer allow people to communicate and access to the information without considering the distance. For example, using world wide web and social media sites, people now can easily acquire information they need, explore the knowledge and exchange ideas with people around the globe. With the help of technical innovation based on computers, such as video camera and microphone, people now can communicate easily with people around the globe by seeing and talking like an face-to-face meeting.

In conclusion, computers makes human's life more easy than it was before an centuries ago. Nowadays, computers has used in every sectors and every day's life. Therefore, I consider the invention of computers is one of the most significant inventions all the time.
otgon   
Jun 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / Lack of interpersonal skills. Causes and Solutions? [5]

@manhmoc
Your essay's idea is great , I think. However, i am not sure you have stated your idea completely by this "Furthermore, nowadays lots of young ... "

I think you should state clearly about how the living alone affects to interpersonal skills.
otgon   
Jun 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS-2 : we will become more independent due to the advancement of the world [5]

I think sometimes your topic of paragraphs is not connected to your supporting idea.
For example,
Indeed, modern
...
each other.

You talk about others help in the beginning of paragraph, but you talk about communication between people in next sentences.
I think your topic and supporting idea must be connected.

Hope it will help you.
otgon   
Jun 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Who should be responsible for cars pollution - people or governments? Give your opinion. [2]

People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think the government should be held accountable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, pollution to the environment is increasing at alarming rate throughout the world and there is number of serious factors affecting to this cause. One of the main factors to contribute the air pollution is the transportation. Some people argue that individuals should have responsibility for pollutions caused by their cars, while others hold a different opinion saying the government should handle this issue. However, ignoring the individual's responsibility for air pollution is not correct, I think government should introduce regulations to reduce the pollution from vehicles.

As some people say, the pollution from cars could be reduced by giving responsibility to the owner. In order to reduce the air pollution, people should not use the cars which omit much pollution to the air comparing to other environment friendly transportation types. If people feel their responsibility to keep the environment clean and safe, they would not prefer to use the cars. Unfortunately, most people do not care about the impacts from cars to the environment, therefore, some people consider that governments should take this into a considerable account.

To reduce the air pollution from vehicles, governments should introduce some major steps to reduce cars which omit high pollution to the air. One of the steps to reduce air pollution from cars is to decrease the numbers of cars people use. In order to achieve to this goal, government should encourage people to use an environment friendly transportation types. Also, governments should require car owners to pay tax for their responsibility to the air pollution. In some countries, for example in my country, this regulation is started being used in practice.

In conclusion, air pollution becomes a danger for everyone. Therefore, to reduce the air pollution related to human activity, such as pollution from transportation, governments should take some important steps such as collecting tax from cars and promoting people to use environment friendly transportation.
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