Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by siwbatkrg [Suspended]
Name: Harry David Sembiring
Joined: Jun 22, 2020
Last Post: Jun 22, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Indonesia
School: HI

Displayed posts: 4
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siwbatkrg   
Jun 22, 2020
Scholarship / Applying to AAS selection - studying in Australia's top university and career impact [5]

Hi, Im applying to AAS selcection. Please do give feedback or review to one of my essays. Thank you so much!

How will the proposed study contribute to your career?



My lifelong dream is to become a diplomat who will live up to the good name of Indonesia on global platform. After graduation I want work for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs or ASEAN. I believe that I can actualize my dream with the opportunity from Australia Awards to pursue further study.

My experience studying in Australia's top university will give me adequate knowledge in the classical and contemporary theories of international relations to understand the ever-changing nature of global politics. It will serve as a lens to perceive global challenges as opportunities for further cooperation, instead of competition. The practical skills obtained from negotiation or diplomacy classes will equip me with the essential skills to convene peaceful dialogues, instead of disputes. Most importantly, studying in Australia's culturally diverse community will prepare me to work in a global environment as a future diplomat. In addition, the network of AAS alumni will facilitate cross-disciplinary initiatives among future global leaders. I will invest these competencies to optimize Indonesia's contribution to international community, one that fosters peaceful relations among nations.

My interest in empowering vulnerable community also drives me to be a diplomat. From my past experience working closely in managing aid for the Rohingya and Covid-19 in Southeast Asia, I believe that international cooperation is needed to serve the cause. Thus, classes like Humanitarianism, Gender and Politics, and Human Security will serve as the foundation for me to understand global politics and come up with the right solution. Furthermore, with the right cooperation, I can help facilitating Indonesia's community development as a diplomat. This actualizes the vision to have an inclusive society through an effective governance in local and global level.

With my future study experience and my interest, I can be the enterprising leader to make positive contributions for Indonesia.
siwbatkrg   
Jun 22, 2020
Scholarship / Changing world - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution*? [6]

Hi, your essay is really comprehensive on your background/motivation, but it doesn't answer the question of why did you choose your course.

I think you should state your chosen course/major for further study and also the university. Alongside that you can explain the benefits of learning in that course and how it can support your future career.

Shorten your background and list your courses and elaborate why do you choose the specific courses for your scholarship.
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