Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Positive and Negative Impacts of Globalization on Economy. [4]

Please help me to correct this essay. Thank you.

Topic: IELTS Writing Task 2: Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten.

What is your view? + Discuss.

Answers:
Globalization plays a central role in this era, while it creates a range of opportunities for leveraging the economy of countries around the world. However, there also exist drawbacks about this phenomenon. From my perspective, I believe that its advantages are more significant compared to the disadvantages.

On the one hand, it can be argued that globalization would help to solve job problems in developing countries. While many foreign enterprises and brands enter the market, new jobs are required to adapt to those companies' demands. This would lead to a rise in living standards. Consequently, children can get access to school and enhance their skills, which benefits the countries' economies. Finally, it will also stabilize the world's security, which means that any country with an army intention must consider its financial benefits.

On the other hand, disadvantages can not be overseen. Some people argue that with numerous outside brands entering the domestic market, the local companies cannot compete with them. In other words, customers are favor of foreign products and neglect the local one. The last issue worth mentioning is that job insecurity in developed countries. Because of high-skilled and cheap labor generated from the developing countries, laborers in developed countries would consequently lose their work or get a sharp decrease in wages. This will affect those people's lives in which the daily expenses in those nations are incredibly high. Another drawback is that the social crime rate will be undoubtedly increased.

In conclusion, while globalization has a variety of limits that need to be improved, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: The consumption of the world's resources ( oil, and water etc) [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2:
The consumption of the world's resources ( oil, and water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate.

What are the causes and solutions?

Answers:

Natural resources over-use is a challenging problem in today's world that need to be put into consideration. There are a variety of reasons behind this, yet there are viable measures to mitigate this resources over-consumption phenomenon.

First and foremost, the advancements in technology, development and research in the contemporary era increase the exploitation of minerals and raw materials. In addition, a rapid and consistent increase in the population expands the needs for resources; as a result, the resources would also be excessively exploited for business purposes. Finally, the forest areas which are the source of valuable materials for medicine and food are being cleared for farming industries. This would lead to the extinction of many wild species and also responsible for natural disasters such as flooding and drought.

Measures should be taken in order to deal with this severe problem. One possible solution is that the government should educate people with the sustainable use of natural resources. Furthermore, renewable energy such as solar and wind power can be explored more and utilized to reduce the dependency on fossil fuel which can also reduce the amount of toxic emission into the environment. Last but not least, conservation projects such as growing trees or Earth hour should be often held to spread the messages of natural resources preservation and raise awareness of people.

To summarize, the depletion of natural resources is the human being's problem that needs to be resolved. However, it can hardly be solved by only the government's work. It takes a great deal of effort from both the authority and individuals.

Please help me to correct this essay-big thanks.