Undergraduate / "Money" - UC Prompt #1 [2]

Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from----for example, your family, community or school----and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Born in a poor family, both of my parents have to work very hard in order to cover the daily spending. Thus, they are very frugal most of the time such as not wasting food, growing their own vegetables and not spending prodigally. They want to let me know that luxury is not a very important part of our life. Also, they taught me not to squander. When I decide to buy something, I should decide whether it is something I need or something I want. They believe I should work hard or do something in order to earn it. Under their influence, I have learned not to splurge and spend money extravagantly, because I understood that money management is a very important factor in order to become successful. Moreover, I also understand that there is no "free-lunch" in the world. Everything that I want, I had to work hard to get.

However, situation did not get any better; on the other hand, it was getting worse as the economic crisis strike the world economy last year. Not only the people who buy stock were being affected, but also their employees, because they have to lay off people and cut down hours in order to maintain their business. Both of my parents were victims affected by this phenomenon, and my family has to go through a hard time since we are still paying off our mortgage loan, car loan, and my brother's college tuition. My family went through a tough time before my mother finally found another job.

While going through this hardship, I realized sometimes no matter how hard one works, or how much one tries to stay away from gambling, or stock purchasing, there is always some factor in his or her life that is uncontrollable that may lead one to the same outcome. But one thing he or she can control is education. The more knowledge one has, the more skills he or she has, the more jobs that are available for him or her. This does not only allow him or her to gain prosperity but also allows a better chance of getting rehire again after tough times. Thus, as my goal in my life, I want to prepare myself better and become a professional in pharmacology and nutrition which I have more chances than others if any circumstances like this ever happen again. Furthermore, I am able to use this knowledge to take a better care of my family which had been supporting me selflessly since I was born. And one way to get this knowledge is by pursuing and completing a college degree. The economic crisis might give my family a hard time; yet, it let me realize the importance of education, and help me find my target for the future.

Word Count: 467

Can anyone please me correct my grammar, sentence structure, anything you think sounds werid?
Also, can you give me some comments on it, what should I add or delete?
You don't have to do all of the above, either one will help me a lot!
Thanks for your help!

Undergraduate / "Being a 'quad-lingual'" - UC Prompt #2 [8]

Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Born in Hong Kong, I was being educated in both Cantonese and Mandarin. Since Hong Kong was a British colony before, it required its citizens to learn English as well. When I was small, my biggest fear and least favorite subject was English because I never understood its sentence structure or grammar, which frustrated me a lot. Every time, when the foreign teacher tried to come up and talk to me, I always pretended I did not understand and walked away. This had worked all the way through my elementary school life, but never worked out when I immigrated to California.

The situation changed dramatically when I moved to United States. Since the official language in America is English, there was no way I could communicate with others without using English. Thus, at the beginning of my seventh grade year, I was struggling most of the time. Not only in English class did I have trouble, but also in math, science, music classes that were once my strongest subject. Also, besides my academic problems, the way I did not have any friends was also distressing me too. Being a very outgoing child when I was in Hong Kong, I didn't even have any problem in finding a topic to talk with someone that I don't know very well. However, because the lack of understanding of English, everyday I had to go to class, and eat my lunch all by myself. And sometimes, when I try to express myself, I would make a big joke because I misunderstood the meaning of the word. The feeling of being left out in a society really irritated me, and I realized the only way to fit in was to work hard on my English.

Starting from that time, I worked really hard on my English by reading different books or articles, talking to some of my classmates, and writing in a diary using some of the new vocabulary I learned from the dictionary. At the end, I was not only able to make friends and build up my social community again, but also quit my ESL class after one year and enroll in many different Advanced Placement classes throughout my high school career. I also decided to learn one more foreign language Japanese to expand my skills in language.

Being a "quad-lingual" makes me very proud because it didn't only mean I had challenged myself to become fluent in speaking four different languages, but I am also able to use my talent to help out the others. I helped out some children by teaching them how to read and write Chinese; I helped out a couple of new students, who were new in America, by assisting them to get familiar with American culture; I helped out some elders when I was volunteering in the library by translating their needs. Wishing to benefit more people, now I am ready for college to become a pharmacist. My language skills will allows me to instruct those newcomers to United States who suffer for diseases but were unable to ask for help due to the lack of understanding of English. Since I have been to those hopeless moments, I wish my knowledge and skills are going to help them through these arduous times and accustom them with American culture, so that they will be able to help out others just like me.

Can anyone please me correct my grammar, sentence structure, anything you think sounds werid?
Also, can you give me some comments on it, what should I add or delete?
You don't have to do all of the above, either one will help me a lot!
Thanks for your help!