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Posts by shennwhisper
Name: Le Trang
Joined: Nov 4, 2020
Last Post: Nov 7, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Chuyen Bac Ninh

Displayed posts: 3
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shennwhisper   
Nov 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] PARENTS SPEND TIME TELLING STORIES TO THEIR CHILDREN [4]

TOPIC:
Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children. Other think parents needn't do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies by themselves.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



It would be argued by some that it is not necessary for offspring to be told stories by their parents as they can do it on their own. In my opinion, however, that is a beneficial practice.

There are several reasons why children being told stories by adults could be considered unimportant. Firstly, parents are nowadays occupied with more assignments at work, which might lead to their lack of time for their family. If they spend time reading stories to entertain their children, they couldn't enjoy the little remaining hours to relax. Secondly, reading books or watching movies by themselves can offer children some certain benefits. This might encourage independent learning and develop better sense of language as they are challenged to understand words and film scenes at their own pace. In doing so, they must apply the knowledge that they have learnt in the classroom.

Despite the above arguments, I support the view that children should be told stories by their parents as it would contribute to a better relationship among family members. Parents would have more interactions with their children and chances to understand them. For example, by discussing about a story, children might show their reactions to anything they observe from their own perspectives. Parents, therefore, can get to know them and even help their offspring to gain awareness and get better attitude towards everything in life. As a result, parents could get their children's respect and become a close friend to talk to. I personally believe that this is a necessary aspect of a close-knit family.

In conclusion, while it seems to me that it is more advantageous for parents and their children to enjoy stories together.

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I would be glad if my first essay is evaluated by you guys. Waiting for your help.
Thank you <3

shennwhisper   
Nov 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 2 - Opinion on salary when choosing a job [5]

the job -> a job
rely on the paid -> based on the amount of money paid.
..., I totally agree with this fact. -> ..., I totally agree with this idea due to some reasons below.
help them to buy food.
There also some grammar mistakes and your length of sentences seems too short. I think you should work on that.
shennwhisper   
Nov 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] TAKING PARENTING COURSES DUE TO SEVERAL REASONS [5]

TOPIC: New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



People's opinions differ as to whether or not new parents should take classes on child-rearing. Although these courses are sometimes considered unnecessary, I completely agree with the idea that those who become parents for the first time should attend parenting classes due to several reasons below.

To begin with, a great deal of advocates are inclined towards the fact that taking up classes is a good option to be well-prepared. Firstly, this would help them to overcome the anxiety of dealing with a child as they master the basics of parenting skills. For example, a woman who hasn't changed diapers or breastfed a newborn baby before would definitely feel worried about whether she can do it or not. Secondly, parenting classes could help them be ready for any emergency situations that might happen, such as choking or breathing issues. Consequently, parents will deal with their child in a composed manner and avoid making errors. Furthermore, taking courses could be the best way to create a new support system as new parents will interact with those who share similar dilemmas.

In addition, taking up childcare classes would also offer parents certain benefits. First of all, they will learn how to manage their emotions and build confidence. A clear understanding of how to bring up a child will help minimise mistakes, properly plan for every step forward, thereby keeping stress levels down. Moreover, parenting classes could help parents establish a strong relationship with their partner. To illustrate, by discussing some important questions on nurturing techniques, they could get to understand each other, which is certainly an essential aspect of a close-knit family.

In conclusion, as parenting could be considerably challenging and first-time parents need a holistic approach, I am inclined towards the view that they should take classes to take care of their infants.

Thank you so much for reading!
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