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Posts by durianisticism [Suspended]
Name: Vinh Nguyen
Joined: Jul 21, 2021
Last Post: Jul 21, 2021
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Vietnam

Displayed posts: 3
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durianisticism   
Jul 21, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Entertainment [NEW]

Question: People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, entertainment media offers its audience various ways for self-entertainment, one of which is watching the show in solitude. In my opinion, although this current trend provides unneglectable benefits, there are some other opportunities that will be missed out.

One of the primary reasons that insular viewing habits appealing to certain people would be the essence of higher concentration and appreciation for the work of arts. There are certain shows that require utter attention from viewers to fully understand, absorb, and appreciate the artistry, metaphorical messages, and cinematography that the art producer intends to deliver. As a result, watching shows in solitude is considered as a way to indulge oneself in arts and savor the sense of arts while avoiding any unwanted attention, side distraction, and unwelcomed intrusion from external forces.

Having said that, there are some other opportunities left missing out when enjoying the show without company. The most noteworthy one would be the absence of interaction and discussion between viewers about the show content, which can possibly make the experience unfulfilling and unsatisfying. Besides, the elements of sharing laughter and mutual feelings can establish and trigger positive connections between the viewers and the show; nevertheless, if watching alone, such perks will be missed out regrettably.

In conclusion, although enjoying the work of arts alone allows individuals to fully absorb and appreciate the artistry, it ignores other opportunities and benefits of collectively sharing similar emotions and connections with other viewers. However, ultimately speaking, it depends on the personal preference of the viewer, and all forms of art appreciation should be respected and welcomed.
durianisticism   
Jul 21, 2021
Writing Feedback / In the recent years, shopping is considered as a common leisure pursuit rather than a housework [3]

@Nga267

This essay has a wrong thesis statement, TA score will be heavily penalized.

The language used is quite rigid and inappropriate in several sentences. You might want to switch to simple terms, prioritize sentence meanings rather than wordy expressions.

You might want to avoid using terms like "thing", "stuff" and be careful with the use of articles "a" "an" "the".
durianisticism   
Jul 21, 2021
Writing Feedback / Fixed punishments or considering circumstances and motivation of each crime [3]

@dthhgw

This essay has a wrong thesis statement. The prompt type is Advantages and Disadvantages, not asking for the writer's opinion. Your TA score will be severely penalized.

Ideas presented in the second paragraph do not relate to any of the advantages/ disadvantages, but more of an explanation and justification for the opposite view. So again, this will affect your TA score.
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