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Posts by Hungneverlose [Suspended]
Name: Nguyen Van Ti
Joined: Jul 9, 2022
Last Post: Jul 10, 2022
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: Life school

Displayed posts: 4
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Hungneverlose   
Jul 9, 2022
Writing Feedback / Opinion: the ultimate time for children to commence their formal schooling is as soon as possible [3]

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at 7 years old at least.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



There is an increasing tendency that parents put enormous expectations on their offspring when it comes to education. Thus, while some people are of the view that the ultimate time for children to commence their formal schooling is as soon as possible, the others feel it should start at the age of 7. Both merits of the argument will be analyzed before the conclusion will be decided upon.

To begin with, an early commencement of study may bring about a plethora of benefits for young schoolers. As children have the access to several disciplines coupled with fields at an early age, this could not only enhance their scopes but nurtures their inborn talents as well, which could be inadvertently neglected. Missouri, a nationwide program in USA, was launched with the purpose of providing education for preschool children. Given that, young schoolers involved in this campaign were significantly more advanced in language development than their peers, and were further along in social development. As this shows, the early initiation of formal schooling could be a holistic approach for children's development.

On the other hand, it is well-advised that children should be sent to school at an appropriate age. By following the ordinary educational approach, young schoolers could be well-equipped with requisite physical and mental skills before, which facilitates their knowledge comprehension. This, in the process, may culminate in an unsurpassed academic disciplines results. A case in this point is Eastern Europe nations since children start formal education later and they have shown better schooling results than many other countries. Therefore, the commencement of schooling at an older age could orientate students towards achievements.

In conclusion, both sides of the arguments have their own strong supports. However, I believe that parents should allow their offspring to commence their schooling at an early age as a way to nurture their remarkable and precocious natural talents.
Hungneverlose   
Jul 10, 2022
Writing Feedback / Nowadays fashion plays an important role when people are deciding which clothes to wear [4]

You need to give clear examples in each passage in order to clarify your opinion. Besides, try to balance the length of each passage as the opening and close are too short compared to 2 bodies.

You also need to update your vocabulary to improve the band of of vocab. Some grammar mistakes ( . Which ???) check it before hand in your essay
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