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Posts by ptthao0801
Name: Thao Phan
Joined: Apr 6, 2023
Last Post: Jun 1, 2023
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
From: Viet Nam
School: Thang Long university

Displayed posts: 7
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ptthao0801   
May 26, 2023
Writing Feedback / The percentages of young unemployed people by age in London and in the rest of England, 1993 to 2012 [2]

changes in young adult unemployment rates in England - TASK 1



The given chart compares percentages of young unemployed people by age in London and in the rest of England from 1993 to 2012.

Overall, the adult unemployment rates in London were higher than those in other cities of England in total. Despite some drops, the percentages of English aged 16-24 witnessed uptrends, meanwhile downtrends were seen in the overall young people unemployment rates in England over the above period.

In 1993, around 23% of people aged 23-24 in London were unemployed, nearly 6% higher than that in the rest of England with a rate of 17%. In contrast, the overall young adult unemployment rates seemed much lower when those in London and those in the other English cities came respectively at roughly 14% and 10%. In general, all 4 types of rates went down from 1993 onwards.

The year 2003 witnessed a significant increase in the proportion of unemployed people aged 16-24 in London, while that in the rest of England remained fluctuated until its remarkable rise in 2005. The two proportions reached their peaks at 25% and around 20%, respectively, in 2012. Meanwhile, the rates of young unemployed English in either London or other cities stayed low over the period of 20 years and respectively went down to nearly 9% and 7% in 2012 despite their small rises in the last 4 years.



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ptthao0801   
May 28, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1- Line Graph- shop closures and openings [3]

@rubinguyen
For your opening,
The number -> the numbers (the number of openings AND the number of closures)

For your overview,
If both trends went down, then why using "whereas"?
Your overview is too short. Recommendation: sentence 1: both trends went down, sentence 2: Closures had a low start but surpassed Openings at the end of the given period.
ptthao0801   
May 28, 2023
Writing Feedback / In the graph figures for the consumption per capita of Beef, Pork, Broilers, and Turkey in the US [2]

trends in US meat and poultry consumption



The given line graph compares figures for the consumption per capita of Beef, Pork, Broilers, and Turkey in the US between 1955 and 2012.

Overall, Broilers and Turkey went up in trends, while decreases were seen in Beef and Pork categories. Turkey remained the lowest in the amount of consumption over the given period.

From 1955 to 1995, Beef remained the highest in the amount of consumption with nearly 60 pounds in 1955 and reached a peak of 90 pounds in 1976. Pork came in the second position with 50 pounds consumed in 1955 and kept fluctuating until 2012. In contrast, Broilers and Turkey started with respectively 15 pounds and 5 pounds in 1960 and kept increasing over the period of time.

Broilers surpassed Pork in 1996 and ended up surpassing Beef with around 55 pounds consumed in 2012. Meanwhile, Beef and Pork went down steadily in trends with respectively 50 pounds and 41 pounds in 2012. Turkey saw a small rise in demand by only 5 - 6 pounds from 1995 to 2012.

(174 words)



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ptthao0801   
Jun 1, 2023
Writing Feedback / The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling e train between 1970 and 2030 [2]

The given graph gives information about daily traveling by vehicle in the UK from 1970 to 2030.



Overall, the numbers of car and train commuters increase gradually over the period shown, meanwhile, bus sees a decline in trend. Cars are seen as the most popular means of transportation.

In 1970, there were over 5 million people who drive in the UK, compared to 4 million people traveling by bus and 2 million rail passengers. The fall in the commute trend of buses and the uptrend in rail travel made an overlap in 2015, at around 3.5 million commuters. In the same year, cars reached over 7 million in the number of its users after a significant rise in 2000.

After 2015, growths in the trends of cars and trains continue and are expected to reach new peaks of 9 million and nearly 5 million, respectively, by the year 2030. In contrast, the number of bus users is predicted to drop to just under 3 million in the same year.

(171 words)



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