Undergraduate / Common app short answer "Fencing" [3]

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities

I fenced for several years at the local community center. Through fencing I learned discipline and stress management. I had never managed stress well before, but after years of being rushed by an opponent wielding a foil, I learned to not be disconcerted, and to remember my training. Discipline allowed me to stand my ground and counterattack, even though human nature tells me to retreat as fast as possible. I also learned the importance of teamwork, as we fenced the same people we trained with. Every time I lose a Bout, I am grateful to my opponent for pointing out the areas I need improvement in. Losing has taught me to value the chance to learn and improve from losses more than the fleeting taste of victory.

can someone proofread this and post critique, much apreciated!