Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 1 - MAP] - changes in Felix Stone [2]

Hi! My IELTS test is coming up in 4 days and I badly need some markings. My aim is to get a 7.5 in writing, please give feeback and suggestions so I can get to this level.

changes in Felix Stone

The images represent the changes in Felix Stone in terms of urban planning between 1967 and 2001. At the first glance, the north side of Felix Stone experienced a slight level of urbanization while the southside saw vast adjustments during the period.

First of all, the north side of the Felix Stone, which was located above the highway, was mostly unoccupied in 1967. While the golf course and shopping area remained unchanged in the northwest, the vast farmland in the northeast was replaced by an entertainment complex which consists of a hotel, a swimming pool and two tennis courts.

In contrast, the southern area of Felix Stone opened itself to more forestland in the west and entertainment facilities to the east during period. Significantly, the marina and the pier in the southeast were removed along with the fish market to leave space for a new public beach area. Neighboring this is a private beach area located at the right corner, occupying a quarter of the southside. In the middle of the south area, the old hotel was demolished, and replaced by a new hotel and a car park, while the cafe relocated just slightly below. To the west, the dunes area shrinked, leaving spaces for wind turbines whereas the forestland expanded.

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Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] - Music - opinion essay [2]

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that music can alleviate the emotional burdens of people, contributing to the nourishment of one's mental state. Although some people might argue that this is the predominant impact of music on modern day society, I kindly disagree with this statement as it appears that on a societal level, music also plays an indispensable role in forming niche and popular cultures.

There is no doubt that one of the most significant influences of music is on its therapeutic benefits through strengthening a person's mentality. Not only it evokes the hidden sentiments of oneself, it also provides an insightful and comprehensible representation of their emotional state. Both aspects are prominent to overcome one's stress and anxieties. For instance, clinical psychologists have been utilizing music as a treatment for people who suffer from traumas and mental disorders. However, this is only one of the effects music has on an individual level.

On the contrary, the societal impacts of music are more than often overlooked, as more importantly, music, or any forms of arts, is created to express one's perceptions on a matter, thus connecting them to those who share similar ideologies. The exchanges of personal stances and judgements through music is the foundation of diverse genres and subcultures, evolving and enumerating itself through a group of enjoyers, hence providing them with a sense of connection and belonging. The existence of music in the past also proves its significance in shaping past societies, leaving behind an abundant archive of various vibrant musical cultures for modern people to explore.

Given these points, it appears to me that the influences of music are way beyond an individual level, as its predominant societal impacts should also be taken into considerations when comparing and contrasting the significance of it in today's society.