Undergraduate / 'Volunteering at the hospital, pediatrician' - UC Personal Statement: community [2]

Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from ï for example, your family, community or school ï and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Going to a public school and interacting with friends, communication has become a big part of my life. Talking with friends, I learned about high school students being able to volunteer at the Huntington Hospital in close vicinity. Taking the bus there every Friday and volunteering for two hours every week for 3 years now has helped me define who I am as a person. It has also made me realize that there are endless opportunities to help anyone in the world at our age. Be it the kids in Africa suffering from AIDS, children in India suffering from poverty, or at our very own home in Los Angeles.

When you serve for the community or society, you forget everything: your status, your materialism, and where you come from. I think that we are all equal and we should all help someone because in the end we are able to say we helped someone who really needed it and the difference it made in their lives gives us pleasure and satisfaction to our character to some extent. It feels good when I think that I am helping the community, which has provided me with a safe place to be, opportunities around the corner, with a good school environment where teenagers have a goal in life, and where everyone cares about each other. I remember when I use to live in New York, six years ago and I was in elementary school I was not able to connect with the people. Moving to California and transitioning into high school has enabled me to change myself, and overcome the barrier of shyness, which has really shaped me as a person today.

Volunteering at the hospital has been a convenience of mass communication as I get to interact with different age ranges. At the hospital, I have been able to try different tasks, from feeding newborn babies to escorting senior patients to delivering flowers. The world has provided many of us with opportunities to be able to do what we would like to. Contributing to the community is what I see as one of my future goals. Dr.Modi serves as my inspiration as I realize that not everyone is fortunate and when we have the capability in our hands to help those who need it we should. One of long term goals is to serve the community by treating patients who are less fortunate. I want to help those in need without expecting anything in return. I think University of California would be the right place for me in achieving my goals and dreams of becoming a pediatrician or family medicine doctor.

Please edit the first draft of my UC prompt #1. Any grammar mistakes, organization, structure, ideas would be greatly appreciated! Be honest!

Thanks

Undergraduate / 'helping out my parents' - UC Prompt 2: Talent, Personal quality [3]

Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Having a brother who has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has helped me gain a different understanding and perspective in my life. My parents, in addition to being full time employees, also have to put in a number of late hours; I have to take care of my brother for most of the day. It was difficult to care for my brother console him when he was in an angry state of mind, when he was aggressive and I was his frequent target of aggression. If he does not get what he wants he gets into a fit and it is a challenge. He drifts off into playing games or watching television and loses concentration. Even though he is cranky, stubborn, impatient, and belligerent bringing him under control requires me to be patient with him, to communicate with him by listening, even when I do not feel like it, to understand his condition, and to help him deal with problems at school. To understand his behavior took a lot on my part, where I had to examine how his environment affected his behavior. Reinforcing him by praising him for his for good behavior and reminding him gently of his mistakes gives him an opportunity to make it right, before I automatically jump to conclusions and consequences.Managing my school work while trying to care for him became a task where I had to give up some of my personal interests in order to shape my brother where he can sustain his grades in school so he can obtain the skills before I go to college next year.

Even with medication, concentration is hard for him and I have to monitor him constantly. My patience, dedication, and compassionateness makes me proud of the fact that I can help out my parents by dealing with difficult circumstances, in which I would not be able to cope with outside my house. As I face different challenges day to day I also find my personal weaknesses to improve my character. Where for some babysitting comes as a chore, for me taking care of my brother helps me define who I am.

As children grow up to be teenagers they have changing attitudes about school, homework and their other responsibilities. In addition to my brother being a teenager, his problem with his deficient behavior has impacted my character. I bring joy wherever I go where I simply strive to be myself. Helping him has brought out my character in the community as well where I volunteer with patients at the Huntington Hospital and with children at the public library with activities, such as arts and crafts and reading stories to them. As I continue to grow, I will always have a desire to help others. I hope to influence a newer younger generation to cherish their surroundings and help others in need of help. Entering in a University of California would be the first step in fulfilling my desire.

(Working with kids stirred up my thoughts where I was able to understand human nature, to help and care for others. Some of the experiences I had been through helped me evolve ) I have this but I'm not sure where to include it and how to end it

Please edit the first draft of my UC prompt #2. Any grammar mistakes, organization, structure, ideas would be greatly appreciated! Be honest!

Thanks