Undergraduate / "only by working hard would one achieve one's dreams" [4]

PROMPT ONE: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

One glance at my neighborhood is all it takes to reach the conclusion that where I come from is an affluent community of successful people. Looking around, I see million dollar homes with sleek sports cars parked in the driveways (and probably in the garages too), beautiful tree-lined roads, majestic mountains towering in the distance, and serene valleys spread out below. Yorba Linda is probably one of the best places to grow up; it is a peaceful little city ranked one of the best, safest, and richest cities in the United States. Never in my life did I worry about getting assaulted on the streets of Yorba Linda; I never worried about not having a dinner to eat; and I was never concerned about whether or not I had enough clothing to stay warm during winter or if I had a place to lay my head. The list goes on, but in a nutshell I have the good life and everything is handed to me on a silver platter.

It's obvious that denizens of Yorba Linda worked extremely hard to be able to live here, but as hard as other people worked to get here, my mother worked doubly hard. My mother emigrated from Taiwan, with nothing but a college education, in search of a better life. When she finally made enough money to buy a house in Yorba Linda, hardship fell upon her in the form of a heart wrenching divorce. She was faced with the daunting task of raising two young children alone, and instead of finding a cheaper place to live she decided to work harder than ever so that my sister and I could live the best life possible. Growing up with everything I ever needed or wanted made me believe that the way I lived was the norm; consequently I took all my blessings for granted. As I grew older I began to lose my naivety and the harsh realities besieged me; I finally began to appreciate everything my mother did for me, and all the little things I have been blessed with. Since I have such a good life I always try to make life easier and better for those around me. Helping others and giving back to the community is one of my passions, so it is not surprising to discover that my dream involves exactly that.

There are many jobs that "help others and give back to the community" but I know exactly which occupation I dream of having. My aspirations to be a nurse stem from an experience where I was the one lying in the hospital bed, getting shots, and waiting around to be healthy again. I felt horrible that week, my spirit was down, my health was mediocre, and I thought that I would never be able to go home again. Thankfully, my nurse was there to help me through my tough times and make me feel better. Of course my doctor also helped, but it was my nurse who was constantly checking my temperature, changing IV bags, and making sure I was feeling fine; by the time I could go home, I had a deeper connection with my nurse. By becoming a nurse I, too, can help others feel better, support them through tough times, and do for others what my nurse did for me.

Thus, I believe that my world, and the people in it, shaped my dreams and future plans. Since I have so many blessings in my life, I desire to give as much as I possibly can to others. Also, by following my mother's example, I learned that only by working hard would one achieve one's dreams.

*this is my first draft and it's still rough. any suggestions??
thanks!*

Undergraduate / 'life is too short to live like a shy caterpillar' - UC prompt #2: The Cello [3]

Please tell me what you guys think! and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
thanks! oh and what do you think about the change in point of view?

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving!

PROMPT TWO: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

"Next year all but one of the cellists will be moving onto high school, so are there any musicians interested in learning how to play the cello and filling the void?" Mrs. Watson, the orchestra director, asked her orchestra comprised of seventh and eighth grade students. She looked around the room and saw only blank faces staring back at her until she saw a shy, seventh-grader raise her hand hesitantly.

"Tammie? Grab a cello and try it out. See if you like it," Mrs. Watson said cheerfully. The little girl got up apprehensively, walked to the back room to pick out a cello, and joined the current cellists outside for a quick lesson. The new instrument was completely foreign to her; cold, smooth wood felt awkward between her knees, and she gripped the instrument and bow too tightly, afraid to let anything drop. Soon, her whole body ached from so much tension and sitting in a different position, but it was love at first note, even though it was out of tune. The cello's warm, rich sounds melted the walls around Tammie's heart; by the time the lesson was over, she did not have any desire to return to her squeaky violin bought from eBay.

Over the summer, Tammie learned the basic notes and techniques from her violin teacher, and she practiced every day until the tips of her fingers were covered with calluses. When school started again, she was excited to show others how much she improved, but to her dismay the newcomers had been playing cello longer and were much more skilled than she. Then another disappointment: her teacher couldn't teach her anymore because he only knew the basics. Dejected, Tammie sat in the back of the orchestra wondering if she would ever be first chair cellist.

Fast forward to the present: after years of endless practicing, self-teaching, and observation of professionals, I became the principal chair cellist of the school orchestra. Switching from violin to cello was one of the best choices I have ever made. Since that fateful first out-of-tune note, I have come to realize that the only way I could live life to the fullest is to open up and try new things.

The cello has transformed me from an awkward, shy, little caterpillar into a beautiful, outgoing butterfly. This metamorphosis changed the very essence of who I am, and I can thank my beloved cello for that. Without my cello in my life, I would not be the person I am today because it lead me to try new things, open my mind to new ideas, and it taught me the valuable lesson of perseverance and hard work in the most rewarding way possible. I am glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone and switch to the cello that day because life is too short to live like a shy caterpillar.