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Posts by jamiexc
Joined: Nov 27, 2009
Last Post: Jan 5, 2010
Threads: 2
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Displayed posts: 6
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jamiexc   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / UC prompt#1 the unknown road [7]

Overall I found this essay really enjoyable to read. The intro really sets the scene. I wouldnt mention your town as a bubble, because chances are many will feel the same. Are you going to lengthen it?
jamiexc   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "earning a paycheck excited me" - UC prompt 2, XC [2]

My First Making Money



Never did I think I'd become like them, that I could actually rid my vanity to the point where I could run for cover in the bushes with three friends: my two new, wild, cross-country companions and a roll of toilet paper. I was still undecided on whether or not to take another sport under my belt. I compiled a list of pros and cons. The cons outweighed the pros by nearly twice as much, but I still decided to take that risk. And it has provided me with more pain, discomfort, and joy than I have ever hoped for.

At the time, I had acquired a job, and the novel concept of earning a paycheck excited me. In the spirit of novelty, I began a sport of which I soon learned required copious levels of mental endurance and backbone. I figured if I didn't do cross country, my time could allocate itself more faithfully to schoolwork, my job, and spending time with friends. But then, as if going on a gut reaction, I decided that I NEEDED to do cross-country. I thought of memorable summer practices in which I endured endless runs by a creek side; the taste of the first sip of water after miles of exhaustion; my coach's heartfelt words in my ability to succeed. I decided to go through with this grueling sport, and it has given back far more than I expected. I wouldn't have gotten this tremendous return, however, if not for all my heart and soul - my whole being - having been poured into this investment.

I learned that a cross-country race is a constant fight against adverse inner thoughts, against the opponent trying to catch up, and against letting the shooting pain in your legs slow your pace. I felt so out of place at my first race when during the final three-hundred meters, the girls I had been pacing myself with all along had darted for the finish in a final sprint. Panicking, I realized I had invested all my energy in trying to keep up. They had taken off as if they'd been tricking me the whole time with their heavy breathing. In track I knew this "kick," as runners call it, was used in the 400-meter sprint, but I couldn't grasp the fact that we were expected to kick after a 3-mile race. After a few meets I grew prepared for, and mastered the kick. I am in insurmountable pain, but whether or not I increase that intensity is what I struggle over. Though it is easier to remain at a given comfort level, life isn't about remaining comfortable; and I know this will not put me ahead of anyone else. After almost three miles, my senses are going numb. The faces around me are a blur; the noises melt to static. All I can feel is near exhaustion of my legs and dryness in my throat. I realize then I can see the finish shoot, and if some of my senses are capable of going numb, then all of them are. I tune out everything but that finish shoot. When it comes down to it, cross country challenges the mind just as much as the body.

I stood in euphoria as my first-ever medal was awarded to me. I then realized the weight of money in my hand could not come close to the weight of a metal around my neck. I had never won a medal, and what made it count was the effort I put into it, aware that I could've fallen short. I have never been more pleased with myself for having chosen the route of cross-country despite a lengthy list of cons. I realize now that the biggest negative, which was suffering through pain everyday, became the biggest positive of my experience. It gave me a perseverance that I would not have attained through increased hours at my job or nonstop schoolwork. I know that it is this perseverance that will guide me towards my goals as it guided me to the finish line in every race as I finished with a kick.
jamiexc   
Dec 21, 2009
Undergraduate / "Ten minus seven"; EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY- tutoring [5]

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

"Ten minus seven." I held up ten fingers, asking the second grader to count down aloud. My heart warmed as she physically bent down each of my fingers so to see them visually disappear. I counted along with her. After a good few months, she was counting mentally. In my time spent tutoring, I've learned patience, communication, and compassion for children. Despite playing the role of a teacher, I've often felt more like the student; I have learned that when it comes to children, visuals, tone, and patience are equally as important as wording. In order to achieve the desired epiphany from the child I find I must alter my explanations multiple times to find the right fit; repetition is meaningless if the concept isn't sinking in. From my perspective, their miscomprehension can only be accredited to an inadequate explanation. I keep this in mind each time I tutor.
jamiexc   
Jan 5, 2010
Scholarship / Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. Your success? [5]

yeah, i agree with jinglebells on being humble. Read your essay from the admissioners perspective. Would you admit someone who boasts about succeeding in all their classes? A person who receives hurdles in their path and must overcome them with a good personality, etc. is more appealing.
jamiexc   
Jan 5, 2010
Scholarship / scholarship: saving poverty housing [8]

grammar looks good. wow, what an experience. The intro was captivating and i can see that you really brought the story full-circle.
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