Undergraduate / Common App short answer about marching band [9]

Prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

I would just like some feedback on my short answer below. I feel like it is lacking something but I'm not quite sure exactly what it is.

During my time in the [School Name] High School Marching Band, the values of discipline, respect, and teamwork were instilled within me. Discipline was required to master the proper marching form, as well as to simply be a mature person whose sole purpose was to improve their skills, not to fool around. Respect was required towards our squad leaders and band directors so that we could easily communicate and learn necessary information that helped our band to grow and become the best we possibly could. But perhaps the most important value was teamwork. Collaboration was required to make sure the marching went seamlessly and that music was played correctly and at the right time. From coming in as a freshman to the end of my sophomore year, great maturation took place and helped me to become a better member of the band and my school community.

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - Topic of your Choice - Importance work ethic [5]

For my common app essay I chose to write about the importance of a strong work ethic. I already had my english teacher proofread the first draft but unfortunately due to snow days I couldn't give her this draft. Before you start reading please keep in mind this is also an actual AP english essay that must follow a certain list of rules, I'm just using it as my college application essay.

The assignment for this essay was to introduce a "truth" followed by a describing paragraph about the "truth", then a paragraph describing my experience with this "truth"

My english teacher said she liked the intro and first paragraph so it's really the second paragraph, where I describe my experience with the "truth", that I would like your proofreading to be focused on. Do you feel I provide good enough examples to reinforce the "truth"?

Thank you for your time.

All people must set and accomplish goals within their lives to achieve a sense of fulfillment. Some may work voraciously to accomplish them while others may do so with disregard. The latter of these different personalities can lead to trouble achieving and advancing throughout life. Talking of such people, Abraham Lincoln stated, "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." If care and action is not taken to reach goals, they will never truly be met. Holding a strong ...

Research Papers / Argumentative Paper for Art History on Illuminated Manuscripts [2]

Hello, any feedback on the structure and content of my essay would be greatly appreciated! I'd like to know if you see any awkward sentence or where I should provide more detail if necessary. I would also like to point out that my thesis begins with "In my paper..." because that is specifically how the professor wanted us to write it. Thanks!

The assignment:

You will write an argumentative paper based on a developed thesis statement. This includes an introduction with thesis statement (In this paper I argue that...), supporting arguments based on qualified and cited research, and a conclusion. This paper will be a concise and well-written, well-argued and well-organized research statement about your chosen area of research.

My chosen area is the Illuminated Manuscript.

During the Middle Ages and throughout the Renaissance religion played a large role in society. In previous time, methods of mass communication were essentially non-existent. The illuminated manuscript changed this by allowing texts to be produced and copied for distribution. Illuminated manuscripts reached all people spreading religious ideals and other information. In this paper, I prove that the illuminated manuscript shifted from being used as simply a religious instructional tool to mainstream sources of information and symbols of wealth.

In their initial purposes, illuminated manuscripts from the twelfth century were mostly created to provide religious instruction. During this time, Christianity was a relatively new faith that began to replace previously existing pagan belief systems. A main method for the accomplishment of this feat was through the production of texts that could spread the ideas of the faith. The Christian faith established itself based on the book called the Bible. All stories and guidelines for living life were contained within the book. The Bible made the faith tangible. Because of the large role that the Bible played in Christianity, it was highly regarded by all. The Gospels contained in the books were considered so significant in fact, that many became reliquaries. An issue of the time was a lack of literacy and therefore the inability of the common person to understand the existing versions of the Bible. This limited the audience that could actually understand and interpret the text to only those of spiritual importance. For this reason, great work and effort was put into trying to fully illustrate the bible. Very primitive decoration was used initially. Over time, the decoration was further developed and would contribute to the future of lavish decoration in manuscripts. Tobias as a Prophet in the Giant Bible of Hiarsau from Rome demonstrated one of the earliest decorations. Dated around the second half of the eleventh century, the illustrations it contained were not stylistically incorporated into the pages, rather they were left free standing. The beginning of the Romanesque era marked the significant advancement for bible decoration. Manuscripts created in England incorporated intricately designed initials and elegantly placed illustrations. Because of the large scale and great work that went into producing the manuscripts, they were not readily available to the public and could generally only be found in places of great spiritual importance.

Beginning in the thirteenth century, the purposes of illuminated manuscripts began to shift further away from religious topics and more towards becoming desirable objects of entertainment and general informational sources. This shift accompanied the beginning of the Renaissance era in which the modern world came to be. Inquisition into sciences and how the world operated became popular topics of interest and with it introduced a more literate public. As literacy rose, so did the demand for books. More secular works were produced and private ownership became more common. Works dealing with scientific themes became more widely produced. A plate from Herbal, entitled Representation of Medicinal Plants, which was dated around 1200 from England, depicted plants to aid in their identification. However, as more copies were created, the plants lost their realistic looking features and became more stylized and appealing to the eye. This occurrence was showed the beginning of emphasis on the importance of making manuscripts aesthetically pleasing, which later became attributed with wealth. Another work dealing with botany came about in the second half of the fourteenth century in Northern Italy in Compendium of Medicinal Plants. The plate entitled Picking Cherries depicted plants that appear to have been drawn from real life giving it a more scientific angle. The pieces were significant because of it showed the recognition and curiousness of nature. Continuing the theme of nature, The Hyena from Bestiary, which was dated around 1200 in England, depicts a realistic representation of a hyena. The work was not directly Christian but tied in ideals with an allegory that stated the hyena consumes the flesh of those in tombs. Other animals were also represented, most realistically, throughout the text. This work demonstrates the mixture of both scientific elements and entertainment. Along with scientific works, both historical and romantic volumes were produced as well. Entering the gothic era, a great shift away from biblical ideas occurred. Historical and literary themed texts were produced in great amounts and most were either written in, or translated into the common spoken language. The new accessibility opened up manuscripts to a previously unreached audience. Many works depicted the mundane, every day common tasks of patrons. The Luttrell Psalter from England dated around 1335 to 1340, depicted the life of Sir Geoffrey. In Kitchen Scene, his cook is shown working hard at preparing a meal for a banquet taking place that day. This narrative had no connection to any sort of Christian ideals. The main intent of these works was often more so to make the royalty and upper class citizens glorified by showcasing that they possessed the wealth to have such works about them produced.

The plate entitled Mordred besieging the Tower of London from the Roman Du Saint Graal is an example of such. Dated in the early fourteenth century from Flanders, it includes great tales of contemporary heroes such as Alexander the Great, Charlemagne, and King Arthur and his knights. The major difference between the new generation of manuscripts and the old was that older religious themed works were deemed as "necessary" to know and abide by. The new works however were something more that the general public wanted to read and own because of their own interest.

Along with the creation of secular texts the thirteenth century marked the beginning of rapid development and attendance of universities, which accounts for the flourishing influx of more educational literature than religious. Education also pushed for a more commercial production of books. One such example was the pocket-sized bible that became a highly valuable object and a symbol of an educated person. The bible contained extensively decorated tiny initials making them lavish. A Bible from France in the early thirteenth century, Initials to the Books of the Prophets Obadiah and Jonah, exemplifies the substantial use of complexly designed initials. Because of their intricate details, the bibles would be passed down generations. This passage from generation to generation signified the value of having such a bible.

In addition to the more entertainment and information driven focus of manuscripts, patronage of personal manuscripts began to become more common. The plate entitled Christ's Miracles of Healing in the Bible Moralisée from Paris dated around 1240 is an example of royal patronage. The designs on the pages resembled that of a stained glass window that might be found during the time period. It did not contain text; instead, it took select passages of the Bible and interpreted them allegorically. The great detail and decoration put into the work showcases the power and wealth of the royal family. Another patronized work, Trés Riches Heures, dated January 1411 to 1416 idolizes the Duke of Berry. In addition to being a fashionable tiny book of prayers, the illustrations within it were elaborate and glorified the duke. Elements such as enthronement, hierarchy of scale, and a sort of halo formed around him make him an important figure.

Evolving over the centuries, illuminated manuscripts shifted from being used for the communication of religious ideals to lavishly decorated icons of wealth, luxury, and knowledge. From its primitive beginnings, to becoming great sources of art, illuminated manuscripts played a large part in the spread of information and development of cultures. Through the introduction of this form of mass communication, peoples were changed forever as their access to information both religious and academic became easier and more widely available.

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